There were 1,163 spoof news stories published in August 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Naked Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Entertain Fans Due to Scoreboard Glitch
The Dallas Cowboys officially opened their new home stadium in an NFL preseason game against the Tennessee Titans. This new edifice is a 1.2 billion dollar, fully state-of-the-art facility. The main action, however, was not on the playing field.
Read full storySelena Gomez Calls Miley Cyrus "A Pussy, A Real Slut!"
Disney dolls Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are at it again but now, it's all because of Selena. The Wizards Of Waverly Place starlet called Miley Cyrus "a pussy, a real slut who doesn't know how to sing or act, put by Disney just like that, publici...
Read full storyMelissa and Joan Rivers Naked Layout In PlayGuy Magazine
CHICAGO - Melissa Rivers and her mother comedian Joan Rivers have just shot a seven-page nude layout that will be appearing in the September issue of PlayGuy Magazine. Melissa who is 41, said that ever since she was eliminated from Donald Trump's...
Read full storyParis Hilton sucks Lady Gaga's Pussy on the internet!
Lady Gaga's furry pussy was sucked in a new bombshell, porno video, by Paris Hilton, as they rolled, purred and pussied on a white tiger skin rug. Lady, opening her white stockinged thighs whilst rollicking to Wacko's, I'm Mad, slipped on the rug...
Read full storyBritney Spears Naked At The Circus
LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears is getting ready to kick off her big concert tour which is being hailed as The Britney Spears Naked At The Circus Tour also known as The No Clothes Tour. Spears will perform in 49 cities starting off in Hamilton, Ontar...
Read full storyWas Brian Jones really at the bottom of a swimming pool?
Sussex - (Mariane Faithfull Mars Bar Mess): Not really. But police have reopened the file on Rolling Stones wildman Brian Jones' 1969 drowning after an underworld tipoff. The guitarist was originally found bobbing up and down in a pool at Crotchf...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Answers Selena Gomez Back: "If I'm a slut, baby you're a motherf*****!"
Few days ago, Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus were at it again. Yes, a new fight started by Miss Gomez this time. Who said Miley didn't have the right to reply? No one, indeed. Well, if you missed the news. Selena Gomez called Miley Cyrus "a pussy, a...
Read full storyTen Little Known Facts About Creedence Clearwater Revival
The original band was formed in El Cerrito, California. The four members were John Fogerty, lead vocals and lead guitar; his brother Tom Fogerty, rhythm guitar, Stu Cook, bass guitar, and Doug Clifford, drums. They first played under the name The Golliwogs. In 1967, they changed their name to Creedence Clearwater Revival. CCR played a unique style of rock and roll music called Swamp Rock. And b...
Read full storyKevin Skinner To Tour With Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez
NASHVILLE - Kevin Skinner's manager, Sharon Osbourne, has just announced the upcoming Chicken Catcher Henhouse Tour. Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne said that the 42-city tour is being put on by her husband's production company, The Bats Out of Hell Entertainm...
Read full storyWoman with World's Largest Vagina Loses It Over Pizza Toppings
WERNERSVILLE, PA - Kate Gosselin told "Today" host Meredith Vieira Monday that she still loves her soon-to-be ex-husband Jon; apparently, her hatred for whole grain pizza with mushrooms, onions, and green peppers runs even deeper. Police arrived a...
Read full storyRumours Of Small Penis Haunt Spoof Writer
A Spoof writer is being haunted by rumours regarding the size of his penis. Already the writer cannot walk down the local High Street without people giggling and pointing at him. Now the writer is spending his four days off hiding in the spare room.
Read full storyMan With The World's Smallest Penis Stomps Man With Second Largest Penis' Ass!
After seeing some recent articles by Penis Minus Wilson (Not his real name), the man with the world's smallest penis, and looking at his website, "Third Leg" Simpson decided to pay the guy a personal visit Saturday morning. "He came in the door an...
Read full storyHotel Hook-Up Gets Hot for Rob Pattinson, Kristen Stewart!
VANCOUVER, Canada - Co-stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had been spending most of their off-set time in Rob's hotel room at the Vancouver Share-a-ton Sugarwall Centre, said a source, until last night. The British actor, 23, and the 19-ye...
Read full storyPussy Calls Miley Gomez And Selena Cyrus Real Sluts
A Pussy calling himself Skoob today panned teen-queens Miley Gomez and Selena Cyrus for being sluts Real. The pussy, Skoob, who by his own admission is a bit of a tosser, finally today plucked up the courage to challenge Hannah Louisiana star Sele...
Read full storyJaycee Lee Dugard's Abductor "Even Weirder Than First Thought."
California police today disturbingly announced that Phillip Garrido, the abductor of Jaycee Lee Dugard, was in fact, way weirder than even they had initially suspected. Police Chief, Erwin Rummel, of Neverland County, California, announced that th...
Read full storyGirls Aloud found a naked lesbian stalker in their dressing room
Members of the all female "Girls Aloud" singing group went into shock when they entered their dressing room to find a naked lesbian stalker on the floor. Kimberley from the singing group said there was a horrible aroma of decaying fish before they...
Read full storyTaylor Swift and Joe Jonas To Star In Remake of "Coal Miner's Daughter"
HOLLYWOOD - Free Spirited Flamboyant Films has announced that Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas will be starring as Loretta Lynn and Doolittle Lynn in the remake of the 1980 country music film Coal Miner's Daughter which starred Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee J...
Read full storyBig Brother "Cream pie" Alice in Wonderland porn controversy takes YouTube number one spot.
Big Brother chief's are celebrating behind battened hatches tonight after a video clip of one of the housemates eating a huge cream cake with her hands behind her back has become an internet hit amid allegations of "Salacious editing." Hira, a Dub...
Read full storyCheryl Cole's weight causes problems on X Factor
Cheryl Cole's weight has once more been in the news, but this time for the oddest reason - she is now lighter than air. A source who has sat in on some of the X factor sessions told us that the famous footballer's wife has had to have lead weights...
Read full storyHell Breaks Loose When Rob Pattinson Eats Kristen Stewart's Taco!
BURNABY, Vancouver, B.C. - The off-screen passion of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart showed signs of moving to "the next level" today at a Taco Belle in Burnaby, British Columbia, said a source close to the young lovers. Pattinson and Stewar...
Read full storyTiger Woods Fart 'Not An Accident' Say Other Players
Golfing legend-in-his-own-lifetime, Tiger Woods, has come under fire from other tour professionals for his ungentlemanly conduct on the golf course, it has been reported. Woods, the half-brother of TheSpoof.com writer, Monkey Woods, released a spl...
Read full storyDancing with the Stars 2009 line up announced
The much anticipated Dancing with the Stars 2009 line up has been announced. And wow, what a cornucopia of talent and fame this cast list is: Gloria Garcia - who once cleaned for one of the Osmonds and who is close to getting a green card Tom...
Read full storyLisa Marie Presley in PlayGuy Spread
CHICAGO - The daughter of Elvis Presley the undisputed King of Rock and Roll, Lisa Marie Presley has just informed CNN's Larry King that she has agreed to appear in a seven page nude layout in the October issue of PlayGuy Magazine. Presley said th...
Read full storyWilliam Golding admits original "Lord of the Flies" was a teen porno movie
In a frank (yep, it's that man frank again!) interview with the News of the Sun, where the journalists ask a series of embarrassing questions aimed at eliciting a juicy response in order to sell more newspapers, author, the late William Golding, has...
Read full storyTiger Woods: The Fart Heard Around The World
Sure Tiger Woods won the Buick Open for the third time Sunday, but the big news Monday is about that Tiger Woods fart on live camera. I guess that's the Tiger roar for another victory so expect to hear some more manly farts throughout the year. At...
Read full storyPrison Break Based on True Story
North Dakota - A producer of the TV Series Prison Break, came forward with the news that Prison Break is based on the forgotten prison break incident at North Dakota State Penitentiary in 1961. The government never televised information about the...
Read full storyMan with World's Largest Penis Banned from being Within 5 miles of Obama!
Publicist Buck W. Wheat, representing Bargis Tryhol, man with the largest penis, was shocked today to receive a Stop and Desist order from Attorney General Eric Holder prohibiting his client from being within 5 miles of any speaking engagement where...
Read full storyGlenn Beck Loses 33 Sponsors Only Has 3 Left
NEW YORK CITY - Network executives are expressing extreme concern as several more sponsors have asked that their commercials be pulled from The Glenn Beck Show. One executive has disclosed that so far Beck's show has had a total of 33 sponsors pul...
Read full storyMan With World's Smallest Penis Gets Hung!
The wife of Penis Minus Wilson (Not his real name), the man with the world's smallest penis, called 911 yesterday from their bedroom in Dallas, Texas after she discovered he was hung. "He can't get out" Halletta Wilson told the operator. "He's hun...
Read full storyNew Vanessa Hudgens Photos Leaked
LOS ANGELES, CA - As a new batch of highly questionable Vanessa Hudgens photos makes its way around the internets, some savvy web-watchers are questioning if the fresh-faced movie queen might be a man. The problem arose when internet perverts star...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Markets: Striptease Pole Dancing Toy Set to Tweens?
Deliverance, Arkansas - Pole dancing is often the only means of upward mobility for trailer park residents, but now with the Miley Cyrus "Pole Dancing Toy Set for Tweens", Hillbillies will finally have a leg up on the competition: inner-city kids fro...
Read full story#10 Man With The World's Strongest Penis Back In Court
Clarence Clabbercod, the man with the world's strongest is once again back in divorce court, now for the seventh time. "I may set Elizabeth Taylor or Mickey Rooney's record", stated Clabbercod. "I'll have to check the Guinness Book of Stout." M...
Read full story"American Idol" Judge Interviews Crashed by Susan Boyle
Hollywood, California - Reportedly, Susan Boyle is emotionally blackmailing Simon Cowell. Threatening to make another scandal of herself by having another psychotic breakdown and checking into a Rehab center again, if he does not select her as Paula...
Read full storySpice Girls Return.. Again.. With the same music.. Again
American Idol creator and Victoria Beckham manager, Simon Fuller has just let leak the idea of ANOTHER Spice Girls Reunion. The Spice Girls reunited in 2007/2008 for a massive world tour that ranked #1 around the world destroying acts like Miley C...
Read full storyTiger Woods Farts On Purpose, According To Runner-Up!
Ronald Thatcher, who was tied for first place during the last eighteen holes of the Buick Open, says that there's almost no way you can beat Tiger Woods anymore. "Tiger is very talented, probably one of the best of all time but he uses some unspor...
Read full storyTed Kennedy's Funeral To Be Broadcast on Cable Television
The funeral for the late Senator Edward "Ted" Kennedy will be broadcast on cable television for the world to watch. The brother of former president JFK passed away Tuesday evening due to complications from several health conditions. The funeral w...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Attracted To Chaz Bono's Brand New Penis
HOLLYWOOD - A reliable source has verified that Lindsay Lohan, on-again, off-again girlfriend of Samantha Ronson is in fact now dating Chaz Bono, aka the former Chastity Bono recent recipient of SRS (sexual reassignment surgery). The unnamed sourc...
Read full storyKathy Griffin Wants To Have Levi Johnston's Baby
LOS ANGELES - The star of the Bravo Network reality show, My Life On The D-List Kathy Griffin has announced that she wants to have Levi Johnston's baby. Johnston, is the 19-year-old father of Bristol Palin's baby Tripp. When Levi was asked where h...
Read full storyAnnual World Masturbation Championships Held in Wacker, Georgia
This year, the World Masturbation Championship will be held in the town of Wacker, Georgia, United States. Previous championships have been held in a rotation in Wanker, England and Beater, Australia. Festivities will include the induction of Paul...
Read full storySimon Cowell Dating The Way Younger Pixie Lott
LONDON - Retro-soul singer Pixie Lott, who is England's answer to Lady GaGa, was reportedly seen in the tightest pair of leotards west of the English Channel on a dinner date with America Idol judge Simon Cowell. The doe-eyed and doe-legged Miss L...
Read full storySenator Ted Kennedy Has Left His Yacht To Glenn Beck
HYANNIS PORT, Massachusetts - Senator Ted Kennedy has left his prized, pride and joy yacht The Silver Sage of The Sea to Fox Network political TV show host Glenn Beck. Speaking from the Kennedy Hyannis Port Compound family spokesperson Oliver Tere...
Read full storyAdam Lambert and Kevin Skinner To Record An Album
LOS ANGELES - The managers of Adam Lambert and Kevin Skinner have sent out a press release that the two singers will be going into the recording studio and making an album. The producer of the album is the highly talented Chad Butterbeer who has p...
Read full storyAdam Lambert's Pants Explode, Sues NYC Bank
Adam Lambert, the singer who came in second on "American Idol, has had some more bad luck after withdrawing money from a branch of a Manhattan bank. Who knew it would cost him a trip to the hospital? "I'm beginning to think someone has put a he...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson's Shock Revelation!
Twilight star Robert Pattinson today appalled and delighted in equal measure, his legions of teen girl fans all over the world by casually announcing that he doesn't wash his hair because he simply doesn't really see the point. Pattinson fan, Moon...
Read full storyNixon stumbled on Joan Kennedy affair with Clinton
Boston - (RIP Mess): It's been over for nearly 30 years. But as they meet again across a crowded Our Lady of Perpetrator Help Basilica funeral aisle today Joan Kennedy and Bill Clinton will know their torrid five year fling eventually led to the dow...
Read full storyMegan Fox's SNL "Threesome" Skit Cut by Censors; Too hot and steamy even for late night TV, they say
New York, New York - Wanting to confirm her bisexuality yet again -- And as Woody Allen once said: "doubling your chances for a date" -- Megan Fox wrote her own opening monologue for the return season premiere of Saturday Night Live (SNL) which she w...
Read full storyMaddie spotted on Oleg Deripaska's 'Queen K' yacht
Corfu - (Praia Da Iluzion Mess): Forget cut-price Ozzie millionairess Melissa Karlson's $5 million Sunseeker motorboat tabloid fantasy. Little Maddie McCann was spotted aboard Russian mobster Oleg Deripaska's $200 million 73m ocean-going yacht the...
Read full storyWhy Is Jamie Lynn Spears Crying?
Jamie Lynn Spears, son of the original thinkers, Jamie and Lynn Spears and sister to famous or infamous, according to your point of view, Britney "No Panties" Spears, has recently disclosed how she has always gotten her way, whether with her parents...
Read full storyGirl Kidnapped in 1991 Kept Busy Playing Nintendo's "The Legend of Zelda" for Past 18 Years
Antioch, California - The then 11-year-old-girl was kept entertained and apparently distracted for the entire 18 years of her captivity with a Nintendo Game Boy. Locked up in a shed in the backyard of her abductor's residence, Jaycee Lee Dugard, now...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Vanessa Hudgens And Selena Gomez Spotted In Vegas With Billy Bunter
Our Las Vegas correspondent Skoo-Booby-Doo called us live on a satellite link tonight to inform us that Hollywood babes Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens were spotted out on the razzle with English literary legend Billy Bunter. Bunter,...
Read full storyDigital TV Switch Over: Thank Goodness It Was Only Wales
Hundreds of complaints have come in after an area of Wales made the UK's first change over to fully digital TV. The callers were all upset to find that BBC2 was no longer available. Mr Jones from Swansea was one of those affected. He lost BBC2 a...
Read full storyKate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 Wants To Meet "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin confided to one of her best friends Jenna Lambrusco that she would love to meet Kevin Skinner. Skinner who is a contestant on America's Got Talent is one of the favorites to win the show's top prize of $1 m...
Read full storySouth African Crossdresser Runs 800 Meters with Penis Tucked!
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - South African officials have rallied behind a controversial new cross-dressing cross-trainer, who won the women's world 800 meters title shortly after he tucked his penis and genitals safely away from view. The runner...
Read full storyGender Test Athlete Scandal
Berlin (Relay Hurdles Sandpit). South African 800 meters runner Daisy Jockstrap has been sent for gender testing following dramatic improvements in her race times. Six months ago the 18 year old runner finished last in the youth games at Skegnes...
Read full storyWife's pussy farts-Yorkshire husband asphyxiated
CATWICK, Yorkshire (TS.com) - Fire fighters and Emergency Medical Technicians responded to a call of "man down in Catwick," at just past 3:00 a.m. BST, Sunday. Upon arriving at the home of Brigadier (retired) Sir James and Lady Cheryl Fentwinkle...
Read full storyEvony Ad Ladies Go Missing - Pussycat Dolls And Girls Aloud Suspected
The Evony online game ad girls have suddenly inexplicably disappeared from the pages of the esteemed satirical website TheSpoof.com. The Evony ad ladies, with their hot sweaty sexiness, pouting, and ample sweat-beaded cleavage had become a firm fa...
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo's Third Leg Worth £1.2 Million, Says Real Madrid
SPAIN - Cristiano Ronaldo's penis has reportedly been insured for £1.2 million by Real Madrid. Real paid a world record £2 million for the Portuguese wiener when they signed the fleet-footed footballer from Manchester United in June. Portugue...
Read full storyPeeping Tom Concerned About Erin Andrews
The peeping tom who posted online several nude videos of ESPN sportscaster Erin Andrews (and asked us to call him Tom) said he is very concerned about the lack of sex in her life. "I've got nude videos of her curling her hair and ironing her cloth...
Read full story"Cash For Codgers." More Obama Health Care Details
(AP)- Washington-Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan. President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this m...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Reveals His Most Embarrassing Moment
In a special interview where Robert Pattinson and several other leading male actors of today let down their hair a bit and offered their most embarrassing moment, Robert Pattinson took his turn near the end, but it was a smashing finish. "I had a...
Read full storyDavid Crosby will donate sperm to Adam Lambert: "So long as he don't spit!"
David Crosby is known for donating sperm to homosexuals who want to become pregnant. He donated sperm to "fellow" musician Melissa Etheridge so that she, and "fellow" lesbian partner, at the time, Julie Cypher could have children together. The two...
Read full storySusan Boyle Betrayed, Arrested
Amanda Holden owes a lot of her success to Susan Boyle as she was on the panel for "Britain's Got Talent" when Boyle made her sensational first appearance. That brought a lot of attention to Holden and others on that show from all around the world vi...
Read full storyNeanderthal cave paintings discovered inside Pelosi's vagina
Surgeons operating to remove Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid's tongue from House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's vagina discovered more than 200 Neanderthal cave paintings decorating the walls of the rarely used organ. Anthropologists from the Smithsonian...
Read full storyHomeopathy Totally Shown To Work
A top scientist at a real university has done some really clever research, with numbers and everything, that totally proves homeopathy works and is not in fact a made up load of pseudo-scientific mumbo-jumbo. A spokesman from the Society of Homeop...
Read full storyNew Oasis guitarist revealed as Paul Gallagher - Noel's older brother
Oasis, the rock super group have announced that their new lead guitarist will be Paul Gallagher. The band recently saw their songwriting guitarist, Noel Gallagher, quit the band following "altercations" between Noel and his brother Liam. However,...
Read full storyMyth Busted - Altoid Mints Do Not Improve Fellatio
Sometimes, we all wish we could be Mythbusters. The latest triumph for the team debunks the long-standing urban myth that chewing Altoid mints prior to giving head can improve sensation for the fellated one. The male Mythbusters were provided wi...
Read full storyAdam Lambert 's Summer Tour Sex Toys
HOLLYWOOD - Well in the age old performing tradition of young female fans throwing their unmentionables (i.e. bras, panties, IUDs, etc.) on stage now comes a new type of complimentary stage act act. It seems that during the nation-wide American Id...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Belated Burial Birthday Bash Goes Global
Mexico City, Mexico - Looking like a scene taken right out of the movie "V" or "The Three Amigos", a tsunami of humanity wearing black hats flooded the streets of Mexico City today. It was not, however, in political protest against the government but...
Read full storyJoke Recycling Plant Posts Record Profits
A joke recycling company based in Goole have posted record profits following a dramatic upturn in business fuelled by requests from contributors to satirical websites such as theSpoof.com for new angles on old jokes. Managing Director, Squeaky Nut...
Read full storyBrett Favre Signs With Minnesota Vikings
Brett Favre, who just three weeks ago said that a deal could not be reached and that he was going to stay retired, just signed a contract to play for the Minnesota Vikings. The quarterback, who holds several career records, will now play against his...
Read full storyCaster Semen-ya: all woman?
Limpopo Province, South Africa - (Muscular Ass Mess): "So what if my daughter looks a bit like Frank Bruno? So does the First Lady of America but nobody's askin' to check her gonads!" Dork-Ass Semen-ya was speaking at a press conference after her...
Read full storyFacebook Shuts Down Fake Sarah Palin Page
Hollywood, California - A Los Angeles screenwriter, Roger Anderson, decided that her would impersonate Sarah Palin by illegally accessing her Facebook account, posing as her. It was all a part of a social experiment he was conducting, he claims. To...
Read full storyAmerica's Got Talent's 75-Year-Old Grandma Lee Advances To The Semi-Finals
HOLLYWOOD - One of Jacksonville, Florida's oldest residents comedian Grandma Lee has advanced to the semi-finals on America's Got Talent. AGT host Nick Cannon, who happens to be married to the delicious and nutritiously long-legged Mariah Carey sa...
Read full storyBAN On Making Gun Shaped Hands
The next stage of sheeple like fear ingrained into the UK populace about inanimate objects has now been rushed through parliament, after a man held up a corner shop with his hand. He entered the shop holding his hand out in front of him, making it in...
Read full storyRussell Brand Pushed Into A Fountain, Then A Urinal.
Self styled Lothario Russell Brand was said to be making a good recovery, quietly at home after being pushed first into a fountain, and then into a urinal. Incident number one happened in Trafalgar Square, London. Brand was filming a scene for upc...
Read full storyDemi Lovato Beats Miley Cyrus, For Real!
Demi Lovato is clearly the new BIG thing! She even beat Miley Cyrus as her sophomore album debuted at #1 while Miley's Hannah Montana 3 soundtrack debuted at #2; a feat for Demi who clearly does not have the same promotional power as Miley and her te...
Read full storyBritney Spears & Lady GaGa Collaboration!
Legendary pop princesses and bitches Britney Spears and Lady GaGa will be both teaming up to record a new song, a hit (oh yeah!) together! Yay! The song which will be written by Spears and Lady Gaga with the help of big-time producers Richard Viss...
Read full storySpoof Editors Blame "Too Much Pussy" for Sticky Situation
The editors of "fake news" website TheSpoof.com declared a "no tolerance" policy today on gimmicky news stories that use the obvious "pussy" in place of "cat". The announcement comes just hours after a new research study was published by the Spoof Te...
Read full storyWoody Allen's Titanic 2 With George Clooney, Megan Fox & Zac Efron
Word is that the sequel to the mega-successful 1998 blockbuster Titanic is going to be filmed in late 2011 and hit theatres sometime in 2013. Everybody is talking about Titanic 2. Director Woody Allen recently appeared on the Oprah Winfrey Show an...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Found Hiding Behind Trees
After receiving a report of a shot fired near the residence if Angelina Jolie, police say they found the shaken actress hiding in the trees behind her house. "We couldn't get anything from her at first because she was badly frightened as a shotgu...
Read full storyWomen prefer short, pencil-thin penises
The truth revealed By Fr, Francois Dubois, S.J. I hold a Doctorate in Divinity; I am not a medical doctor. Regardless, I am regarded as somewhat of an expert in the field of human sexuality, and especially an expert regarding Roman Catholic sexuality. In fact, it was me who counseled the Holy Father, Pope Benedict, to resign as Pontiff in order to marry his lover, Longdongo (see Pope Quits:...
Read full storyRihanna has only nine toes
We admire her for her smash hits in our charts such as "Umbrella" and "please Don't stop the music" but what we didn't know was that Rihanna has an ongoing battle in her life. The ability to keep her balance. The singer has come out of the woods...
Read full storyHarrasment of Man With World's Largest Penis Continues After Arrest Following Unintentional Discharge of Weapon In NY Gentleman's Club!
New York, NY/ Shotgun News - The government pursuit and harassment of Bargis Tryhol, Man with the World's Largest Penis, continued unabated with his announced arrest after an "accidental discharge" of an "unlicensed weapon" early this morning on th...
Read full storyNintendo Wii Announces Another Animal Crossing Game
The second Animal Crossing game for the Nintendo Wii will be available in late 2010, say a rep for Animal Crossing. There's been plenty of different titles but the rep insists the new game is simply called "Animal Crossing: 3.0". The new game conf...
Read full storyAdam Lambert & Kris Allen On ABC Friday Morning As Sawyer, Champion Lose Underwear
The crowds were wild on ABC's Good Morning America this morning as recent American Idol rivals Adam Lambert and Kris Allen were joined by Teen Choice Awards 2009 Nominee, David Cook for a great performance. Too bad that those at home only got a sm...
Read full storyLady Gaga: He, She or Nee?
Lady Gaga's actual sex, which has generated much speculation which finally resulted in violent rampaging though the streets of London last week, now has a definite conclusion according to experts at Southend University today. I asked Dr Comely (BS...
Read full storyMan with World's Smallest Penis Drinks Orange Juice from She-Male's Navel
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A transgendered prostitute from San Francisco traveled to Florida and seduced a spoof writer Saturday, later administering a nasty paper cut to his right rear cheek, a law enforcement source said. Mistress Caramel, 53, traveled...
Read full storyX Factor - John And Edward Grimes Straight Out Of Eraserhead
They may have the backing of Louis Walsh, but Dublin twins John and Edward Grimes aroused different emotions in X Factor watching movie buffs. "They're bizarre. They look like the guy out of Eraserhead, the 1976 movie directed by David Lynch. Wher...
Read full storyMacaulay Culkin Writes A Tell-All Book On Michael Jackson
LOS ANGELES - Actor Macaulay Culkin who knew Michael Jackson just about as well as anyone has just published a book that deals with his close friendship with the 'Gloved One.' The book is titled Neverland Was Originally Named The N Word Land. Culk...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Burial Delayed When Black Man Shows Up In Coffin: Body Switched?
Beverly Hills, Ca./Mortuary News - Jackson funeral goers were horrified today during the final preparations for the burial of the Pop Star when the body of a 225 pound black man with a large nose was found to be occupying the final resting place of t...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres, Melissa Etheridge, and Rosie O'Donnell Buy Twitter
HOLLYWOOD - In a move that has sent shock waves throughout the electronic world Ellen DeGeneres, Melissa Etheridge, and Rosie O'Donnell have announced that they have just purchased Twitter. The three women through their company Tri-Guys Unlimited...
Read full storyWest Virginia Governor unveils statue of Peter Beter
CHARLESTON, WV - Twenty-two years after his death, Peter D. Beter is finally being recognized as one of the Mountain State's best political pundits. Governor Joe Manchin III unveiled a bronze bust of Dr. Peter David Beter whose failed run for go...
Read full storyTiger Woods Fart Rule Imposed By PGA
In light of the recent revelations, the PGA Tour Judges have decided to impose the so-called "Tiger Woods Fart Rule" and add it under Section 1, Paragraph 7 "Players conduct while on the golf course." This is the section which concerns walking between a player and the hole on the green or casting a shadow across the path of the ball to the hole while on the green, etc. Whenever anyone is abo...
Read full storyMichael Jackson's Sperm To Be Auctioned
An unnamed 12-year-old at the time, who often stayed with Michael Jackson at the Neverland Ranch and who is now 24, says that he has collected 120 vials of Michael Jackson sperm that he may auction on eBay. The young man, who wore a mask of Michae...
Read full storyDallas Cowboy 90-Foot Screens To Show Only Cheerleaders in Bikini Thongs
Jerry Johnson, owner of the Dallas Cowboys is upset because he thinks that Tennessee Titan's punter, A.J. Trapasso's high kick last week was aimed directly at the Cowboy's new stadium giant screen. "Why else would he kick a high kick from his own...
Read full storyKathy Griffin Arrested For Illegally Selling Photos of Joan Rivers' Vagina On eBay
MALIBU BEACH, California - California state police have arrested My Life On The D-List reality show star Kathy Griffin on charges that she illegally sold explicit photos of Joan Rivers' vagina (crotch cookie) on eBay. Ms. Griffin of course denied...
Read full storyMichael Jackson to Be Buried Above Marilyn Monroe
Los Angeles, Ca., USA The reasoning behind the numerous delays in laying Michael Jackson's decaying corpse to rest were cleared up today when Elsie Poncher announced that representatives of Jackson's estate had purchased the vault directly above the...
Read full storyTed Kennedy to be buried in Marilyn Monroe vault
Los Angeles - (Some Like It Hot Mess): The new owner of the $4.6 million Westwood Village Memorial Park burial vault holding Marilyn Monroe's remains was named as Sen Edward Kennedy who died today. The former top IRA fundraiser and Democratic Mas...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth Make Open-Faced Sandwich
NASHVILLE, TN - Unable to wait any longer to join the exclusive "co-star couples club," Miley Cyrus reportedly was spotted frisking Australian actor Liam Hemsworth shortly before the pair played full-contact tonsil hockey! Hemsworth jumped out of...
Read full storyHulk Hogan Has Fallen For Stacy Keibler
HOLLYWOOD - Now that his divorce is final, ex-wrestling sensation Hulk Hogan has admitted that he is dating ex-wrestling sensation Stacy Keibler. The Hulkster said that the sexy and sultry Stacy was there for him in his time of depressed depressio...
Read full storyKristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson Swap Fluids in Movie Theatre
VANCOUVER, B.C. - Oscar Wilde once said, "Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life," and perhaps he was right - take for instance Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, whose onscreen romance is rumored to have budded into the real thing. Now...
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