A Spoof writer is being haunted by rumours regarding the size of his penis. Already the writer cannot walk down the local High Street without people giggling and pointing at him. Now the writer is spending his four days off hiding in the spare room.
"Who started all these rumours? It's a conspiracy. When I was at sea there were never such rumours." said Skoob, the Manchester United loving writer. He has sought professional advice from the Spoof's resident shrink, Dr Vic. Following the advice Skoob was last seen going for a walk in the woods with a revolver.
Skoob has been considering taking action in the courts. He sought legal advice from Queen Mother, our resident legal expert. Skoob presented his evidence, but QM is worried that it will not stand up in court.
We await Skoob's next move.