Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 27 August 2009

image for Simon Cowell Dating The Way Younger Pixie Lott
A cupcakes sand castle of Pixie Lott which Simon Cowell designed on their visit to Ramsgate Beach.

LONDON - Retro-soul singer Pixie Lott, who is England's answer to Lady GaGa, was reportedly seen in the tightest pair of leotards west of the English Channel on a dinner date with America Idol judge Simon Cowell.

The doe-eyed and doe-legged Miss Lott revealed to a friend that Cowell is 49, but that he acts 39 and looks 51. Lott said that she does not mind dating older guys as long as their favorite color is the same favorite color as hers - green as in money.

The Brentwood in Essex native said that Cowell offered her a recording contract, but she told him that she already had one. He then offered her a concert tour deal and again she replied that she already had one.

Cowell grinned at her like a hungry African lion eyeballing a limping zebra. He then asked Pixie what it was she wanted. She pushed out her lips (the north ones) and she thought for a moment. She then told him that she wanted a new pair of high heel shoes. Cowell said done.

"To go with a brand new dress." She remarked.


"To go with a brand new Rolex watch."


"To go with a brand new fur coat."

Cowell rolled his eyes. He took a drink from his Jack Black and told her to go away and that he was going to try his luck with Simone Rainford who maybe isn't a little Madonna wannabe 'material girl.'

He started to walk off and she commented okay maybe just the shoes then.

Cowell nodded yes and the two went off into the London night hand-in-hand with Cowell looking like the cat that was getting ready to swallow the canary.

SIDENOTE: Cowell was recently asked why it was that during the American Idol show it seemed like he and Paula Abdul were constantly flirting and grabbing each other underneath the judge's table. Cowell started laughing and said that it was all an act to get her boyfriend chopstick heir, Wing Shoo Fi jealous. Cowell grinned and said that it did not work cause Shoo Fi fell in love with Kara DioGuardi.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
59 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more