Kristen Stewart, Rob Pattinson Swap Fluids in Movie Theatre

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Sunday, 16 August 2009

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Could this love child one day be the new "twilight saga" of costars Pattinson, Stewart?

VANCOUVER, B.C. - Oscar Wilde once said, "Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life," and perhaps he was right - take for instance Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, whose onscreen romance is rumored to have budded into the real thing.

Now, startling images have revealed an intriguing new wrinkle in the rumored offscreen love saga of Pattinson, who, the whole story be told, was actually cast as a vampire, and Stewart as his human love interest.

Startling new photos have surfaced of the Eclipse cast leaving a Kings Of Leon concert Saturday night in Vancouver - including one shot displaying what some say may very well be two small puncture wounds in the neck of Stewart!

Witnesses claimed Stewart may even have been a little paler than usual after the concert.

Pattinson was photographed earlier at the event leaning in dangerously close to Stewart during the King's hit Sex On Fire, leading many to speculate what appeared to be a little innocent necking may actually have been Pattinson assuming mental control over his costar, as well as transferring to her his amazing powers to resist death and decomposition!

Further bolstering this theory, Perez Hilton said he saw the pair leaving the venue on wing, having turned into bats only a moment before.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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