Los Angeles - (Some Like It Hot Mess): The new owner of the $4.6 million Westwood Village Memorial Park burial vault holding Marilyn Monroe's remains was named as Sen Edward Kennedy who died today.
The former top IRA fundraiser and Democratic Massachusetts senator had always been the prime suspect in Monroe's mystery death following her seedy S&M sex encounters with his brothers Jack and Robert.
"Ted bought the sarcophagus to keep an eye on Marilyn during the afterlife," mausoleum vault vendor widow Mrs Elsie Poncher said today.
Leading Warren Commission fantasy factory apparatchicks have guaranteed that the real Zaprudder footage of JFK's 1963 assassination will remain a testament to Kennedy's integrity forever.
