Cristiano Ronaldo's Third Leg Worth £1.2 Million, Says Real Madrid

Funny story written by The San Francisco Onion

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

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Cuidadoso, Cristiano! We wouldn't want you to get a nasty groin injury.

SPAIN - Cristiano Ronaldo's penis has reportedly been insured for £1.2 million by Real Madrid.

Real paid a world record £2 million for the Portuguese wiener when they signed the fleet-footed footballer from Manchester United in June.

Portuguese fans said they fear other teams will target the 24-year-old World Player of the Year's manhood for "rough treatment on the pitch," and urged Real Madrid to cough up even more.

They noted this is important because, though the Spanish team can afford one player of Ronaldo's caliber, a dynasty could be in the making for the Portuguese national team should any Ronaldo Jrs. arrive in the foreseeable future.

Accordingly, they implored Real to further consider an additional investment in Ronaldo's balls (meaning his testes, for the sports-minded among you).

Ronaldo currently holds the most expensive penis in football history title after having transferred to Real Madrid, and his contract is also expected to make it the highest-grossing dick in the world.

Sounds like those digits are starting to add up. Boy, I tell you - give an inch, and they take a mile!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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