Written by Bureau

Thursday, 27 August 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Sperm To Be Auctioned

An unnamed 12-year-old at the time, who often stayed with Michael Jackson at the Neverland Ranch and who is now 24, says that he has collected 120 vials of Michael Jackson sperm that he may auction on eBay.

The young man, who wore a mask of Michael Jackson, announced on PMSNBC this morning that he guarantees the product as it can be DNA tested but will not guarantee exactly what the child would look like because of all the changes Jackson went through over the years, "but I assume they will favor the original Jackson when he was about 20-years old.

"No matter what you personally think about Michael", the guy told a wide TV audience, "do you want a great singer, dancer in your family or not?"

As far as behavior, the seller says that will probably be created while the child is growing up in your house. Also, you'll need to select the mother if you are not the mother yourself.

The 24-year-old flatly refuses to say how he got the sperm but family members say they shall protest.

"Let them protest", says the sperm owner. "That should bring me a lot more publicity plus I've already consulted an attorney. I got a note from Michael that these are mine as a special present, the family can't do shit."

Most people interviewed after the announcement said that "the whole thing is sickening".

On the other hand, when we asked about sperm from Elvis Presley, all we got was "Where? Where is that available?" and this reporter had to run for his life and hope I wasn't on film.

If so, I Do NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ELVIS SPERM! It was just a supposition.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Michael Jackson

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
71 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more