Women prefer short, pencil-thin penises

Funny story written by Frankie The J

Sunday, 2 August 2009


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Women prefer short, pencil-thin penises
These two women screw all the day long. They prefer a short, pencil-thin penis...Like mine!

The truth revealed
By Fr, Francois Dubois, S.J.

I hold a Doctorate in Divinity; I am not a medical doctor. Regardless, I am regarded as somewhat of an expert in the field of human sexuality, and especially an expert regarding Roman Catholic sexuality. In fact, it was me who counseled the Holy Father, Pope Benedict, to resign as Pontiff in order to marry his lover, Longdongo (see Pope Quits: Says one billion Catholics are wrong, TheSpoof.com-World News). Yes, mighty leaders from the world over seek out my advice when it comes to pursuits of fleshly stuff. And it is easy to understand why they do: I cut through all of the sexual bullshit and get right down to the real nitty gritty.

Thousands upon thousands of men write me each year about the size of their penises. I encourage it! I ask most of them to send me 8x10, glossy, color photographs of their peni. During my research, I had to break my vow of chastity and engage in sexual intercourse with scores of women (later forgiven by Pope Benedict in appreciation of my sexual healing of His Holiness).

I showed each of the women in my research study the penis photographs sent to me by the thousands of men mentioned in the above paragraph. Then, I showed the women my penis, just prior to engaging in the tube steak boogie with them. Afterwards, 93.89367 % of the women asked about penis size told me, "Oh, Fr. Francois, yours is the very best I ever had." I always offered them another serving of my Holy rod and staff, but most demurred saying, "Once was enough, Father. I'll remember your dick forever. I cannot wait to tell the other sisters in the convent."

My penis measures exactly eight centimeters in length, and precisely nine millimeters in diameter. I prefer using the metric system for measuring sexual apparatus; they sound far more impressive in metric measure.

But I digress.

Guys of my size, rejoice! Women prefer men with short, pencil-thin peckers. Don't be shy; get out there and swing your thing!


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more