Annual World Masturbation Championships Held in Wacker, Georgia

Funny story written by Throckmorton Turdblossom

Monday, 24 August 2009

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Annual World Masturbation Championships Held in Wacker, Georgia
One possible actress whose picture may be used in the visual stimulation category

This year, the World Masturbation Championship will be held in the town of Wacker, Georgia, United States. Previous championships have been held in a rotation in Wanker, England and Beater, Australia. Festivities will include the induction of Paul Reubens (a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman) into the Jack-off Hall of Fame.

Contestants will compete for prizes in several categories: self masturbation (with and without visual stimulation, most volume, quickest, and slowest events), team masturbation (most volume, quickest, and slowest events), and the ever popular shooting for distance event.

One rule change is that all visual stimulation pictures must be of the same person (though different pictures of that person may be chosen). The as-yet-unnamed woman is known to be a popular Hollywood actress, but her identity has not yet been made public. This was due to Dick Cheney's win two years ago by seeing a picture of a shotgun and last year's victory by George W. Bush looking at a picture of himself.

This year's odds on favorite to win the overall prize is U.S. President Barack Obama, who has been called the biggest jerk off in the world.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more