On ABC News, Rosenblat Still Insists His Fake Story Of WWII Is True
With his usual limp, Herman Rosenblat, whose best-selling "memoir" of his Holocaust love affair with his wife was yanked off the market by the publisher when parts were proven false, insisted to ABC News again yesterday that he never lied. Of his...
Read full storyNation Mourns As Frood Dude Dies
The nation mourned today as Sir Clement Frood, the Frood Dude, passed away. Clax Mifford, the celebrity publicist, said "He was on the edge of the precipice and now he is no more." Frood has inspired many people. Stephen Fryup, the 'popular' comed...
Read full storyAmy Winehouse Does Mud!
We knew it had to happen, and it finally did. Amy Winehouse has turned to mud. She was spotted Tuesday at a Cotton Bay Village spa in Saint Lucia, wallowing in the mud like a pig in a Waller. She was naked, and onlookers were required to sign a w...
Read full storyTell Em You Know Nowt, Barrister Advises Client
A client facing serious charges was this morning advised by a prominent barrister to "say nowt" in court. The accused's brother told me: "What's that all about? We're paying this bloke six grand a day to represent our kid in court on charges of 's...
Read full storyYankees quit new Stadium with 100% Losing Record
New York Yankees fans were shocked today when the club announced that it has decided to play no more games in the "clearly cursed" new Yankee stadium. Following the loss of the first ever game played in the stadium to the Cleveland Indians, a spok...
Read full storyObama - "Toy Dolls Launch is White Voodoo Threat!"
Following the retail launch of the mini Barack and Michelle dolls millions of white Neo Pagan groups have been snapping up the toys to perform voodoo spells to unbalance the lives of the Obamas. In a joint statement, from an undisclosed source, vi...
Read full storyMarco Pierre White To Have Bandana Surgically Removed
Just in. (They actually woke me up from a lovely nap.) - Celebrity TV chef Marco Pierre White, who despite his exotic sounding name was actually brought up on a dead rough council estate in Leeds is to have his trademark bandana surgically removed on...
Read full storyMark Hughes Resigns from Manchester City FC
In what can only be described as inevitable, Manchester City manager Mark Hughes resigned following his team's performance in the UEFA cup quarter final against Hamburg. In a clearly depressed and dejected mood, Hughes said "when I took this job,...
Read full storyWaterboarding memos ordered torture of top witness against Bush
Washington AC/DC - (Whitewater (G)rafting Mess): Newly released documents by the Obama Administration show that George W Bush personally ordered the torture of a top NATO military intelligence executive who'd escaped a drive-by shooting attempt commi...
Read full storyOctomom Reveals Plan to Support Kids
A source close to Octomom revealed her plans to support her eight children: a reality TV series! "That was the plan all along, she just didn't want to tell anyone, especially the sperm donor. Octomom is obsessed with Angelina Jolie and wants to pr...
Read full storyNorth Korea change National Anthem to Muppets Hit
In an attempt to present a more friendly and accessible front to the cruel and vindictive regime of North Korea, it has been announced that the nation will change its national anthem. Beginning from June 1st, the nation will use the classic Muppe...
Read full storyUS to convert currency from Dollar to Obamar
In a nod to the extremely popular President Obama, the US Treasury department has announced today that it will begin phasing out the Dollar from circulation as the main currency beginning October 2009. To replace the dollar, a new currency "Obamar...
Read full storyCPS mole says Tory mobster Green is innocent, OK?
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The KGB's London station chief in charge of Al Qaeda terror recruitment as well as running the UK Crown Prosecution Service has ruled that feckless Tory front bench tosser Damian 'The Omen' Green is innocent, OK? Green...
Read full storyNorth Korea to host 2016 Olympics
As what is being seen as a desperate attempt to build a positive and worthwhile relationship with Kim-Jong Il and the North Korean leadership, the International Olympic Committee broke a number of traditions and protocols today, by announcing that th...
Read full storyJohn Madden retires, will follow lifelong "Inventor" dream
The legendary John Madden, football commentator and computer game mogul, announced his retirement from the sporting world today. Madden, aged 73, became famous following a national campaign to find a future Sports Announcer with the name "John Mad...
Read full storyScottish Spinster Wows The World
A Scottish spinster has amazed the world with her singing. Gordona Broon, who lives with her cat Mandy, has wowed the world with her singing voice. Already YourTube has received millions of views. Broon wrote the songs herself. "I'd Like To Teach...
Read full storyMini Gordon Brown To Be A Big Hit In Shops
The Gordon Brown Inaction Man figure is expected to prove hugely popular. If any shops still remain open and anybody actually has any money then the figures will be a big hit. If you pull the string the doll says hilarious things like "I'd love s...
Read full storyNew Poll Gives Labour Shock Lead
In a recent poll carried out in my house, Labour showed a shock 100% lead over the Conseravtive party. In a secret poll amongst 100% of the voting age population in my house, both the voters suggested they would be voting Labour in any up coming e...
Read full storyDavid Cameron Milking It Revelation
It has been revealed today that Tory leader David Cameron was overjoyed when the 'emailgate' story broke to the press. In a candid interview with our political reporter Ben Downing-Street David Cameron said "I am so glad all this has happened. Gor...
Read full storyBradford and Glasgow dead fans not commemorated year after year
Today, the anniversary of the fire that led to the death of 56 Bradford City and Lincoln fans, and the anniversary of the Ibrox Disaster, when 66 Rangers fans died in Glasgow, wasn't commemorated, and no-one tried to blame anyone for what were simply...
Read full storyCitibank release "ambiguous" Q1 earnings
Suprise hit the banking community today as Citibank released their 2009 Q1 earnings summary. Widely hailed by banking experts as being a likely barometer as to whether the economy is recovering, it appears the focus and widespread scrutiny of the...
Read full storyBernie Madoff's Wife Has Her Own Form Of Punishment.
As a part of Bernie 'I'm Special' Madoff's wifes use of their condo, these adjustments to her normal life were requested by those who had been ripped off by the wheeler-dealer. They were presented to her by Bernies judge, along with a death threat from those he screwed if she didn't comply. A - She can only shower with water on coldest setting. Must use Pine-Sol for shampooing. B - Can only...
Read full storyRepublicans and Democrats Desperate For New Recruits.
Republican and Democrats are actively recruiting fresh meat for their parties. Both need to beef up their numbers and make sure that no one sneaks off to join third parties. But it is not a cake walk to get into their ranks. They have certain standards that must be met. Republican grunts must be able to present a good front, pretending to have a strong interest in the common good, and then...
Read full storyRise of Pakistan: Foreign Hand
Everything that is happening in Pakistan can be traced to some foreign countries (most prominently India, Britain and US). Here are some of the most historic event which can be related to foreign hand. The birth of Pakistan as Nation: Pakistan was created with due help of Nehru and Gandhi with the help of British ruler. Pakistan blame India and Britain for creation of Pakistan. Issue of Kash...
Read full storyJohn Madden Calls It Quits!
John Madden, the burly former Oakland Raiders coach who has been one of pro football's most popular broadcast analysts for three decades, is calling it quits. "I'm calling it quits", stated Madden Wednesday. Madden worked for the past three sea...
Read full storyItalian TV Accused Of Showing Too Much Tittillation
London, England - British TV bosses today accused their Italian counterparts of paying too much attention to suntanned babes with long legs and stunning cleavage in crap gameshows, and thus eating into the UK advertising market. "That's bollocks i...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent contestants are actually headed for death camp
I have exclusively heard reports that contestants from the audition show "Britain's Got Talent" are literally in the test of their lives - as those who fail to reach the finals are being sent to death camps! "Britain's Got Talent" is a seemingly i...
Read full storyMel Gibson divorce settlement declared bank robbery
Mel Gibson may soon end up as the Hollywood actor with the biggest hole in his pocket. Critics declare his divorce settlement a form of legal bank robbery. Robyn Gibson who has been labeled Gold Fingers, 53, is legally entitled in their divorce to...
Read full storyAfrican Pirates to face The A-Team, Airwolf & Knight Rider
In a surprise announcement today, government minister for drug awareness, Lord Grasp-Straw(35ΒΌ) publicly voiced his support for a potential plan to counter the threat of African piracy by utilising the characters and hardware from the various 80's gi...
Read full storyIdiot Stands On Wrong End At Bayern Munich
Renowned idiot Skoob1999 has finally come clean over an incident which he allegedly provoked in the Olypiastadion, Munich in 1985. "I went in the wrong end," the idiot told us. "When Bayern scored I cheered. I was surrounded by Hamburg fans who st...
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent Star Heading for International Fame
Britain's Got Talent contestant Susan Boyle could be heading for international success after featuring on top US TV shows and receiving an invitation to appear with Oprah Winfrey. Susan appeared on Good Morning America and was interviewed by Diane...
Read full storyBrit Spoof Writer Nearly Machine Gunned By Cops At Heathrow Airport
London, England - The Metropolitan Police today, in attempt to divert attention from the fact that one of their number twatted a woman with a baton during the G20 fiasco, today chose to announce that they had almost arrested a TheSpoof.com writer on...
Read full storyJack Tweedy To Marry Aspartame Boy In Civil Ceremony
London, England, somewhere near a gasometer - Rumours arising here that Jack Tweedy, former husband of reality TV show star and noted karaoke performer Jadey B Good is set to marry TheSpoof.com writer Aspartame Boy in a civil ceremony. "Neither of...
Read full storyCowell cowers in fear of Scotswoman
Following the appearance of hideously ugly Scots woman Beth Nobody on Britain's Got Talent, Judge Simon Cowell has sought a restraining order from the courts following reports that the unusually ambitious woman has started stalking him. Cowell be...
Read full storySensational self cloning Queen ants threat to all male species!
A sensational, scientific revelation was issued after intensive studies revealed that Queen ants are now able to reclone themselves and will threaten the future existence of ALL male species. This horrific peace of anti - male news was revealed by t...
Read full storyZac Efron To Star With Lucy Lastic In Brit Porn Spectacular?
London today, about five minutes after closing time - I have exclusively learned that Hollywood heart throb Zac Efron has been lined up to appear in pornographic spectacular The Pirates Of Zac's Pants. I was getting a much needed breath of fresh a…
Read full storyLabourlist Reveal New Editor
Following the Labour Party's distancing of themselves from Derek Draper in the wake of the 'Smeargate' scandal, left-wing blog LabourList has announced that it is to take on a new editor. In a shock development, the site's backers announced this m...
Read full storyEmerald Ash Borers Loose in Central Park
Local New York officials apparently misinterpreting a threat warning from two Midwestern state governments,had beefed up police security around Manhattan but more specifically, Central Park. Police were instructed to be on the "look out" for susp...
Read full storyVanessa Hudgens And Brenda Song Fight For UK Recognition
London. Just after breakfast time. - US teen queens Vanessa Hudgens and Brenda Song today walked the streets of London town in a bid to gain recognition in the UK. The pair buried the hatchet in an attempt to crack the UK market, and hung around T...
Read full story1st Dog, Bo Wo Wo Obama, to be new special envoy to Dogistahn
Washington DC - Bo Wo Wo Obama cocked his leg on the podium in joy when it was announced that he is to take this key role in negotiations with Taliban tribal leaders in the remote mountain province of Dogistahn. "Too many people have been barking...
Read full storyInternet Porn Queen Has Uneventful Day
Internet porn Queen, Alice Slack, 28, of Basildon, reportedly had a really uneventful day today. Slack, the star of internet porn classics such as Shaving Ryan's Bits, The Testicle Chronicles, and The Spies Who Shagged Me told us: "I just got u...
Read full storyBoy George To Get His Own Prison Reality Show
LONDON - George Alan O'Dowd, aka Boy George has just signed a contract with the BBC to star in his own reality show. The show will deal with Boy George's daily goings-on while he is incarcerated at London's Petula Clark Prison For Blokes. Produ...
Read full storyFrance Surrenders to Pirates
Paris, France - Nicolas Sarkozy, the President of France, made a speech in which he declared that his government surrenders unconditionally to Somali pirates. "You may take our women. My wife, for example. You may definitely take her. Our baguette...
Read full storyTexan Secedes from Union
Dallas, TX - A man in Lubbock has done what others in his state have only dreamt of doing--seceding from the United States of America. While others were protesting in the streets outside Lubbock's one-room courthouse/post office/7-11, Leroy Jenkem w...
Read full storyAlistair Darling and Mervyn King to appear on the Dragons' Den
The UK government and Bank of England have taken the extraordinary measure of appearing on popular BBC television show "Dragons' Den" to ask for a 30 billion pound investment in the United Kingdom. A leaked video of the Chancellor and governor of...
Read full storyDamian Green MP Re-Arrested
Shadow Immigration Secretary Damian Green has been re-arrested this morning, according to sources within the Metropolitan Police. The MP, who was formally cleared by the CPS today following the November raids on his home and Parliamentary office,...
Read full storyJulia Roberts Not Famous Anymore
Julia Roberts has been stricken from the Fame List, after officially not appearing in any movie, TV show, or giving an interview for 17 months and 13 days. The official fame cut off point is 17 months and 3 days. After a trial that lasted eight d...
Read full storyMad Anglo Involved In Paris Protest March
Following the French blockade of channel ports in protest over something or other, reports are coming to light that an English based writer for a popular spoof website which can't be named here for legal reasons, joined in a protest march in Paris so...
Read full storyRussell Brand shot after being mistaken for gorilla in Congo
Controversial funnyman Russell Brand is recovering in hospital in Kenya today after being shot in the arm by a poacher yesterday. Brand has been in Congo, central Africa for the past three weeks filming his new movie Gilbert Goes to Gambia. In th...
Read full storyBudget betting scandal
The story of a bizarre betting scandal around next Wednesday's Budget speech is emerging this morning. Bookmakers are reporting 'unusual betting trends' after several thousand pounds has been wagered on Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling sa...
Read full storyWhen the Dusk Fell, Part 6
Everything went fine, except for one little thing: it would have been much better if they were riding a two-hump camel. Yusel placed his cheek on Zule's bare shoulder. Later he found himself grabbing Zule's both breasts and squeezing them hard and kissing her back. It was a ride to eternity. It happens only once in one's lifetime. It is worth anything. Yusef was enjoying it beyond all bounds.
Read full storyBritain's Got Talent Susan Boyle is a Man
Got Talent scouts, directors, judges and producers were shocked two times by middle aged performer Susan Boyle. The first time the smug judges and judgemental audience seemed to automatically dismiss the frumpy English old maid poised to perform...
Read full story"Wiferape", the Afghani Reality Show Sponsored by NATO
The North Atlantic Treaty Organization has very generously gotten involved in rescuing an Asian money pit, the nation formerly known as Afghanistan. Equipped with currencies from all over the world and more than willing to invest even the life blood...
Read full storySusan Boyle: A slumdog from Britain
Remember Danny Boyle, the director of Slumdog Millionaire who made the movie for Oscar and won 8 award. There is another Boyle in making. In the show "Britain Got Talent", Susan trumped everyone to win the hearts and soul of every audience present th...
Read full storyObama Only Allowed to Smoke in Cuba
Inveterate smoker President Barack Obama has been badly hounded by the four beloved ladies in his life about his filthy carcinogenic habit of tobacco abuse. No Smoking signs have appeared throughout the White House, in the Rose garden and even on...
Read full storyRepublicants Announce Tax Protest: BallSack 2009
BallSack 2009 is the name chosen for the Republicant's protest against the Obama plan to raise taxes on the entire membership of their failing party. The Democratic plan to raise income taxes on the richest 1% of Americans to levels lower than in...
Read full storyNick Jonas Admits to Masturbating
Despite wearing a Christian "purity ring" at all times, Jonas Brothers lead guitarist Nick Jonas unabashedly admitted to the news media that he enjoys masturbating as much as most young men. "I've been masturbating since I was 12. I see nothing w...
Read full storyObama's New Pastor throws a Wild Pitch from the Bullpen Bully Pulpit, hitting the NY Yankees' faithful right in the pews
Washington, D.C. - After attending Sunday Easter Service, where the president's new pastor stood at the bully pulpit delivering the Summon on the Mount more like a pitcher fresh from the bullpen still warming up on the pitcher's mound, throwing a wil...
Read full storyDerren Brown Makes Woman Invisible
Mind-Lord Derren Brown is in trouble tonight after one of his stunts went terribly, terribly wrong. Brown made a volunteer from his audience seemingly completely invisible but soon admitted he had no idea how to make her visible again. "Technical...
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