Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Internet porn Queen, Alice Slack, 28, of Basildon, reportedly had a really uneventful day today.

Slack, the star of internet porn classics such as Shaving Ryan's Bits, The Testicle Chronicles, and The Spies Who Shagged Me told us:

"I just got up, had a shower, then went downstairs and had breakfast - a cup of tea and some toast with marmalade. Then I relaxed watching telly chef Phil Vickery on This Morning with with Fern Britton and Pip Schofield. he gave me some really useful tips about things to do with bananas and chocolate. Went for a nap in the afternoon. Got up, watched a bit of telly and made a cup of Horlicks, then went to bed again. Very uneventful really. But a nice change."

Next door neighbour, ex hedge fund manager (now redundant) Robin Swyne told us:

"I suppose that makes a change from being picked up by blokes in a van and taken away to a tacky movie set to get shagged rotten. Fair play to her."

Slack remained vague regarding whether or not she'd have another uneventful day tomorrow.

"I'm not sure," she said. "It's always a possibility that I'll get picked up by some blokes in a van, taken to a tacky movie set and shagged rotten. Who knows?"

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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