Written by Dungeekin

Thursday, 16 April 2009

Shadow Immigration Secretary Damian Green has been re-arrested this morning, according to sources within the Metropolitan Police.

The MP, who was formally cleared by the CPS today following the November raids on his home and Parliamentary office, was apprehended while sleeping at his home just before dawn.

Officers from the elite PJSP* Unit of Scotland Yard conducted the raid, and Mr Green is currently being held in the high-security Belmarsh Prison awaiting further actions.

Mr Green is expected to face charges including 'Obstructing a Minister in the Course of Troughing Expenses', and 'Making a Home Secretary Look Like a Stalinist Twat with Intent'. Any trial would, however, be held in camera for reasons of national security.

A spokesman for the Home Secretary denied reports that Damian Green was facing extraordinary rendition, but he provided a statement from Jacqui Smith saying, "these charges are very serious and go to the heart of national security and my personal self-image. The Home Office will be pushing for the strongest possible punishment for Mr Green and to any other MP who dares to try and hold the glorious New Labour Party to account".

*Protecting Jacqui Smith's Pride

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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