Bernie Madoff's Wife Has Her Own Form Of Punishment.

Funny story written by rfreed

Thursday, 16 April 2009

image for Bernie Madoff's Wife Has Her Own Form Of Punishment.
Tired Of Being In The Condo, Mrs. Madoff Exits To Go Find A Public Toilet.

As a part of Bernie 'I'm Special' Madoff's wifes use of their condo, these adjustments to her normal life were requested by those who had been ripped off by the wheeler-dealer. They were presented to her by Bernies judge, along with a death threat from those he screwed if she didn't comply.

A - She can only shower with water on coldest setting. Must use Pine-Sol for shampooing.

B - Can only use toilet by standing on rim FOR ALL EXCRETIONS!!! Sandpaper is available for TP.

C - Mail deliveries only by carrier pigeon.

D - Only booze in house is Mad Dog 50/50 and that is watered down with vinegar.

E - Can only use top burners of stove for heating the residence.

F - Hammock strung above tub is only bed available.

G - Windows must be left half open in winter.

H - Mice get first serving of all meals.

I - Lovers can visit, but she must wear a full wet suit during servicing.

J - The only television channel allowed is the North Korean State Channel.

K - Pizza deliveries must have machine weight oil and pigeon droppings for ingredients.

L - Only DVD's allowed are 'The Complete Works of the Three Stooges', the Russian non-dubbed version of 'War and Peace' and 'Stories For The Deaf' in sign language.

M - Desserts consist of only curried ice cream.

N - Happy Meals from McDonalds's are only meals that can be delivered. No shakes or sodas. No biggie sizing.

O - Visits from friends can only take place when they shout down to her from a window two stories above the place.

P - Mormon missionaries will check on her every two hours to see if she wants to be saved.

Q - Nosy reporters will legally be able to overnight with her to get a story, but must stay in the same bed.

R - Only ambient music allowed is a constantly repeating Roseanne Barr's singing of 'Star Spangled Banner'.

S - Her ankle bracelet must have a 'stun' mode if she tries to raid the refrigerator at night.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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