London, England, somewhere near a gasometer - Rumours arising here that Jack Tweedy, former husband of reality TV show star and noted karaoke performer Jadey B Good is set to marry TheSpoof.com writer Aspartame Boy in a civil ceremony.
"Neither of us are gay," Tweedy told us, allegedly. "But AB wrote to me in prison and informed me of the multiple benefits of Aspartame and seemed like a really nice guy. And seeing as the Mrs has shuffled off this mortal coil, I was at something of a loose end. I would have considered giving the mother in law one, but she's a dog, and she's only got one arm."
The wedding is scheduled to take place in San Francisco.
Aspartame Boy told us:
"It's not a gay thing. It's a meeting of minds, a question of mutual fulfillment. A spiritual thing. Hopefully we can go on from this and develop, as a couple, and do loads of aspartame together. In a blokey kind of way of course."
At which point, this TheSpoof.com writer retreated to a safe distance and pondered over where we'd collectively left our marbles.
More when we find them.