Written by whatinthe world

Thursday, 16 April 2009

image for Cowell cowers in fear of Scotswoman
what's on tonight?

Following the appearance of hideously ugly Scots woman Beth Nobody on Britain's Got Talent, Judge Simon Cowell has sought a restraining order from the courts following reports that the unusually ambitious woman has started stalking him.

Cowell believes that she followed him to a well known restaurant and also sat in her car outside his Mayfair apartment. But this behaviour is only the tip of the iceberg.

He claims that she disguised herself as a traffic cop and commenced habitually issuing traffic infringement notices wherever he parked his expensive Jaguar XJ-S. He also believes that she may even be impersonating HRM Queen Elizabeth, before whom she is meant to perform if she takes out the TV talent quest.

Cowell refused to be drawn on speculation that he might be appearing just a little too delusional. He maintains that he hasn't had a wink of sleep since the woman appeared on the show and has even considered resigning from the judging role because it "may lead to more trouble".

There may well be a lot of people who would endorse that idea.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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