Hookers demand satisfaction
Ladies of the evening around the world have been expressing concern over the lack of "caring" their so-called Johns have been giving them.
Read full storyOnline gamers' player loyalties breed contempt
Internet gaming has become one of the most popular past times in recent history, but personal differences between players have been detracting from the fun for many.
Read full story5 NYC Mafia Families Vote Paris Best Mug Shot
The five New York crime families have voted Paris Hilton's mug shot the best ever. The five families; Massino (Formally The Bonnanos), Colombo, Gambino, Genovese, Lucchese; have just met in Hidden, upper New York State, for the 45th annual Omerta...
Read full storyLord Levy received £25 milion from Prince Bandar
London - (Ass Mess): Lord Levy received up to £25 million from dodgy Saudi arms dealing princelet Bandar Bin Sultan Bin Abdul Aziz it was confirmed today.
Read full storyPresidential Candidates Interviewed About Fiscal Policy; Giuliani Favors Nuclear First Strike
Washington D.C.- In a rare bi-partisan press conference, each of the current eighteen candidates for President of the United States gave their positions on fiscal policy.
Read full storyDoctors in Bible Belt deny teens new birth control
Physicians in several so-called Bible Belt states are under fire for refusing to allow teenage girls access to recently developed birth control methods.
Read full storyCIA bugged Bandar's £75 milion BAE Airbus
London - (Ass Mess): The £75 million Airbus 340 which BAE's slush fund bought as a sweetener for dodgy Saudi arms dealer Prince Bandar was secretly bugged with the CIA's most sophisticated surveillance equipment ever.
Read full storyComical Ali in Jamaica
It has been revealed that the former Iraqi (mis)information minister Mohammed Saeed Al-Sahaf aka Comical Ali has been working for the Jamaican Police as a public relations adivisor.
Read full storyIran Orders Death to Porn Stars: Screech in Hiding
On Wednesday Iran's parliament voted in favor of a bill that calls for the execution of all persons convicted of working in the production of pornographic movies.
Read full storyTexans Hope Paul Can Restore State's Reputation After Bush Fiasco
It was once a state whose residents considered themselves Texans first and Americans second. It was big oil, big money, big hats and most of all big Texas pride.
Read full storyDavid Hasselhoff's Drunken Binge, Staged?
Hollywood Calif. David Hasselhoff of Night Rider and Bay Watch fame was recently in the spotlight for allegedly being sloppy drunk in front of his teenage daughter. We contend it was all a publicity stunt to put the spotlight on Hasselhoff for the te...
Read full storyJohn Prescott Centre Stage
Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott is retiring from politics to take up a new career on stage.
Read full storyWoman named Butts, Steals Toilet Paper, Gets Thrown in the Can
Marshaltown Iowa, a woman was caught red handed stealing three rolls of toilet paper from the local courtroom. The woman is facing three years incarceration for the crime.
Read full storyApproval of Brain Implant a Boon to Couch Potatoes
Cyberkinetics Brain Systems, Inc., Foxborough, Massachusetts, recently announced that the United States Patent and Trademark Office recently issued a patent entitled "Microstructured Arrays for Cortex Interaction and Related Methods of Manufactu...
Read full storyInmates say Hilton has prompted prison staff to shower with them
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Inmates at the Lynwood Correctional Facility say that ever since Paris Hilton joined them staff have started to shower with them and given them extra rations of intimate lubricants for steamy prison sauna sessions.
Read full storyLibby judge says Dick Cheney sending death threats
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): District Court Judge Reggie B Walton has told the Feds that Dick Cheney is behind a series of death threats he has received just days after ordering Special Prosecutor Patrick FitzGerald's motion that Lewis Scooter Li...
Read full storyHillary's blind trust held NewsCorpse, Wall-Mart stock
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): There were red faces among the Dems today as the news was announced that Hillary Clinton's blind trust portfolio has held between $100,000 and $250,000 in NewsCorp stock, the parent company of Faux News which has acqui...
Read full storyGovernment Rushes In N-word Bill
There was frenzied activity today in the House of Commons today as an emergency Bill was ratified in the wake of the Big Brother n-word fiasco.
Read full storyCast of "LOST" missing
The entire cast of TV's hit show "Lost", have been reported...well....Lost. Their flight disappeared from radar whilst flying over the South Pacific en route to Perth, Australia.
Read full storyBarrymore's wife warned about malevolent Princess Di influence
Essex - (Ass Mess): Police interviewing murder suspect Michael Barrymore have reopened files from the mid 1990s and have quizzed him about a statement his late wife Cheryl made about his 'ludicrous' relationship with Princess Diana.
Read full storyChina Hates Fat Pirates
Chinese censors have cut half the scenes with Chow Yun-Fat from the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, saying they insult, vilify and deface the Chinese people. Hollywood is still reeling from the Persian backlash against negative portrayals in "…
Read full storyEmail Blooper
There I was in class, tinkering on my MacBook with a rampant attack on Paris Hilton for "The Spoof".
Read full storyFourth Test Abandoned Due To Lack Of Interest
The fourth Npower Test Match between England and the West Indies at Chester-le-Street has been abandoned due to lack of interest. Rain saved the sponsors' blushes as it came teeming down
Read full storyMurray and Federer Pull Out Of Wimbledon
London, Friday - The tennis world was left reeling from revelations from the camps of both Andy Murray and Roger Federer on Friday.
Read full storyBush to file a law suit against TheSpoof.com writers
Washington D.C: With rising number of TheSpoof.com writers opting to write about Bush and making him looking like a goof and an idiot, Bush has finally filled a law suit against the writers of those stories.
Read full storyGods to go on strike!
Heaven - In what would be the biggest tragedy of modern times, the Gods' united front, a union for Gods, have announced that the rumour reported here that the Gods were going on a strike, was correct.
Read full storyG8 Summit: Leaders discuss the Supernatural
Here's the latest bit of news from the news that's pretty late...the G8 politicians(not to be mistaken for the gay eight politicians), including George Shush, Tony Bliar and Womanmohan Singh(the other half of Sonia Gandhi) met at the Asian building of which we have no clue, but what we do...
Read full storyParis looks towards God and Poetry in Jail
Here's the latest bit of news from the news that's pretty late...pretty late as in the opposite of ugly Hilton.
Read full storyPrisoners in £2.5m payout
London, Friday - You could be forgiven for thinking, reading the above headline, that a lottery syndicate (of prisoners) has scooped the midweek jackpot, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Read full storyBush got bushed!
Washington D.C - In what turned out to be the biggest shock of the year, the FBI (not Ron Paul) revealed that the American president, Bush had a pact with one of the most wanted terrorist in the world Osama Bin Laden...
Read full storySixties Duo Revives Iraqi Old Standard
The famed duo that brought so many wonderful songs to the first generation of antiwar activists in the sixties and seventies (known only as S&G) have reunited to update their old standard "I am Iraq."...
Read full storyHIPS In Doubt Over London Assessments
With just days to go before the start of the Government's phased implementation of Home Information Packs their future has again been thrown into doubt.
Read full storySir Michael Barrymore To Answer For Shady Past
Michael Barrymore, the noted homosexual, was arrested by police yesterday as his shady past caught up with him.
Read full storyParis in for sex change?
In an impressive decision taken by the lie-ers of Paris Hilton and Paris herself, has left many judges and police confused.
Read full storyNew Subatomic particle found - Homotron!
What's really small (other than my penis), has no charge (other than my sister) and openly shows affection towards other things of its type (other than my mum)? Well, if scientists are to be believed, a new sub-atomic particle, the homotr...
Read full storyIraqi Department of Motor Vehicles Security Enhanced Test Questions to Stop Car Bombers
Instructions: Answer all questions truthfully, completely and to the best of your ability. Pencils only and no unnecessary marking on the test answer sheet. You have 30 minutes to complete all 10 questions. When you have completed the test, please take it to the nearest armored personnel carrier available. Good luck.
Read full storyNobel Prize winner says no difference between sh*t and shinola
Cheyenne, Wyoming (The Herald) - Turd Ferguson, a retired Wyoming rancher, has won the 2007 Nobel Prize in Chemistry for demonstrating that shit and shinola are actually one-and-the-same.
Read full story"Quixote" Frank feuds with Fed! Who's next?
District of Columbia - Continuing his heated rhetoric, self-styled "Don Quixote" (Congressman Barney Frank) turned his attention toward yet a different foe: the faceless Federal Reserve System (aka the Fed).
Read full storyParis Hilton Fully Rehabilitated
Jail officials, psychologists and even Paris Hilton herself proclaim that she has been fully rehabilitated and is no longer a threat to society.
Read full storyStan Lee is Making a Cartoon Out of Paris Hilton
Stan Lee, of marvel comic fame is developing a cartoon out of Paris Hilton and the whirling dervish of a life she leads. The character is reported to be similar to the Pamela Anderson animated series Striperella.
Read full storyNorth Korea Offers Arms for Paris Hilton
North Korea has made a new and unusual offer in ongoing negotiations over their nuclear arsenal. A negotiator for Kim Jong Il reportedly said that the rogue leader is quite fond of US celebrity Paris Hilton
Read full storyBP Cancels Superman's Insurance
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - RIPLEY, WV - In the small, sleepy town of Ripley, WV, no one suspected what evil lurked about. Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow stopped Cal Jennings from writing at TheSpoof.com, but this could be different.
Read full storyHillary Clinton and Barack Obama Team Up for Fitness
Senators Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama worked together on Capitol Hill today to firm up a bill promoting fitness in America. The legislation would create funding for a series of government run gyms, with the idea...
Read full storyImmigration Compromise Reached
Leaders in the House and Senate today reached a compromise on the Immigration bill today. Predictions that conservative Republicans would block the bill turned out to be false. Tom Tancredo, one of the biggest opponents of immigratio...
Read full storyKelly Clarkson Cancels Tour in Support of Paris Hilton
American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson announced today that she would cancel her summer tour. While initial reports suggested that this was due to low ticket sales, Clarkson said at a press conference that she decided on this to show so...
Read full storyBP Cracks Down on Insurance Abuse
The BP life agency and other Corrupt Bastards Club members at BP have cancelled TheSpoof.com writer Cal Jenning's insurance for exposing them through comedy at TheSpoof.com.
Read full storyMan almost chokes on illegal drugs
Police officers pulled over a car on Wednesday night and as one of the officers approached the drivers side he notices the driver was choking on a baggie.
Read full storyBare Naked Truth: Nicole & Paris
Some misguided broken nose fans of Sinatra thought he wanted to be in "From Here to Eternity", so they put a horses head in then head of Columbia Pictures, Harry Cohen's bed. Nicole Richie spent many a time at MJ's 'Neverland Ranch', sleeping in his room, (she claims) in her own bed.
Read full story"Sopranos" finale hits a sour note with fans; website flooded with alternate endings
New York, New York - Frustrated Soprano fans shut down the show's website with complaints, even their own visions of how they thought how the show should have ended, hoping producers would re-shoot the season finale.
Read full storyHuman attempts to beat machines
US and A (Wired Staff Writer) - In a human-versus-machine contest not seen since Garry Kasparov's retirement from the chess world, TheSpoof.com contributor 'SpaceElevator' is attempting to out-spoof the Artificial Intelligence now operati...
Read full storyBarry Goldwater Rolls Over
I rise today to discuss the National Security and Homeland Security Presidential Directive , signed on May 9, 2007 which declares that in the event of a "catastrophic event", George W. Bush can become what is best described as "a dictator". I refer you to the speach I made in 1964 at the Republican National nominating convention:...
Read full storyStink in post office
Washington - At the Smithsonian's National Postal Museum, authorities found a disgusting smiling package that contained two cans of spinach and a dirty diaper.
Read full storyHow Low Can Bush's Approval Rating Go?
(MUSICMAN PRESS) "How low can he go?" is the question every political expert nation-wide is wondering. In a statement released early Thursday, Bush's sat at an ill 29%. "I can't explain it. I just cain't please y'all.&q...
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