Written by queen mudder

Friday, 15 June 2007

image for Inmates say Hilton has prompted prison staff to shower with them
All kinds of relief massage now available at Lynwood

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): Inmates at the Lynwood Correctional Facility say that ever since Paris Hilton joined them staff have started to shower with them and given them extra rations of intimate lubricants for steamy prison sauna sessions.

Some inmates say that they've also been given deluxe model vibrators as treats plus access to intimate massage therapy 'courtesy of Sherrif Lee Baca's connections'.

Another inmate said things definitely started
looking up since Hilton moved in 'because I began to notice that we now get lavatory paper, tampons, even a clean sheet for the bed. Wow!'

Hilton has been praised as highlighting the dire conditions at the women's jail where cockroaches once ruled the roost and inmates' subsistence was confined to three meals of 'thin gruel' a day.

The jailhouse is to feature in a new UK TV docu-drama about the heiress's incarceration provisionally entitled 'Paris does Porridge'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more