Written by Warren Redlich

Friday, 15 June 2007

image for Kelly Clarkson Cancels Tour in Support of Paris Hilton
Cheering up Paris Hilton along with Kelly Clarkson

American Idol winner Kelly Clarkson announced today that she would cancel her summer tour. While initial reports suggested that this was due to low ticket sales, Clarkson said at a press conference that she decided on this to show solidarity with Paris Hilton.

"I've been suffering from depression ever since she was arrested," said Clarkson. "Paris Hilton supported me when I was going through the American Idol thing, and now I feel I have to do this for her."

Clarkson has been going through a bit of turmoil recently, having fired manager Jeff Kwatinetz this week. While the two had been experiencing some creative differences, Kwatinetz apparently crossed the line when he told Clarkson that, "Paris Hilton is just a spoiled brat with no talent." Clarkson's manager insists that he was merely trying to pump the singer up out of her depression, but she did not appreciate the attack on her sacred cow.

Clarkson visited Hilton today in the LA womens jail. A guard we spoke with said the visit "really perked Paris up." Despite the feel-good news, rumors of a fall tour featuring Kelly Clarkson, Paris Hilton, and Prince are being denied by all involved.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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