Doctors in Bible Belt deny teens new birth control

Funny story written by Skews Me

Friday, 15 June 2007


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We don't want buns in our ovens

Physicians in several so-called Bible Belt states are under fire for refusing to allow teenage girls access to recently developed birth control methods.

"First it was the day after pill," said Planned Parenthood spokeswoman BeBe McFee. "But now they're refusing to prescribe permanent birth control methods as well as a new pill that eliminates menstral periods alltogether."

Sixteen year old Alabama resident Phoebe Geller is certain she doesn't want to have children. When she asked her pediatrician what could be done to permanently prevent a pregnancy, the doctor simply told her to abstain from sex.

"He refused to answer any questions I had about the new stuff I've been hearing about on the news," Geller said. "The most I could get out of him was an offer for free condoms.

"I wanted to know about Anya and Essure, but the quack flat out refused to discuss them," she stressed.

"I don't want to make babies, and if I don't have to have cramps every month, all the better."

Federal law allows medical professionals to deny service based on personal religious beliefs. Southern states seem to be the most resistant to allowing pro-choice services.

"It's as if they want kids to have kids," said McFee.

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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