Hilton on suicide watch as Sauer says "Get your ass back to jail"

Funny story: Hilton on suicide watch as Sauer says "Get your ass back to jail"

Lynwood, California - (Ass Mess): Paris Hilton is back behind bars tonight after no amount of pleading, cajoling or stamping her itty pritty little foot at Superior Court Judge Michael T Sauer and the sheer unfairness of it all managed to get her off...

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Judge Sets Execution Date for Paris Hilton

Funny story: Judge Sets Execution Date for Paris Hilton

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer was not amused with all the gyrations going on with the Paris Hilton incarceration and subsequent early release granted by Sheriff Lee Bacca. In fact he was really pissed. The judge said the sheriffs department h...

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Bush to Star in "Independence Day 2"

Funny story: Bush to Star in "Independence Day 2"

HOLLYWOOD (AP Newsliar) -- George W. Bush has been cast in a lead role in "Independence Day 2: Mission Accomplished", the sequel to the 1996 blockbuster by 20th Century Fox.

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Timmy's Birthday Bash- Strange Goings on

Funny story: Timmy's Birthday Bash- Strange Goings on

Young Timmy Bulstrode won't forget his 7th birthday in a hurry, for no sooner had he blown out the candles on his cake, than he was set upon by a lynch-mob, taken to the village ducking stool and almost drowned for being a warlock.

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Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, Feircely Jealous Over Paris Hilton Coverage.

Funny story: Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, Feircely Jealous Over Paris Hilton Coverage.

Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are fuming mad over all the press and worldwide media attention Paris Hilton's court appearances and subsequent incarceration have garnered.

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Wile E Coyote pardoned by governor, struck by anvil

Funny story: Wile E Coyote pardoned by governor, struck by anvil

Albuquerque, New Mexico - After serving three days of a ten-year sentence for attempted murder against the Roadrunner, Wile E. Coyote was released from prison on Friday.

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Bush Reveals Re-labelification Plan

Funny story: Bush Reveals Re-labelification Plan

Pentagon officials announced the latest weapon in the war on terror after fears it would be leaked soon anyway. "Re-labelification" is the process of re-labeling possible terrorist targets in the hopes of confusing the enemy enough to pre...

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Letterman Unamused by Bush

Funny story: Letterman Unamused by Bush

David Letterman spoke out today concerning George Bush's low ratings. "I let him take over the show and this is what happens. I always said we were a disgrace to the entertainment industry, but this is ridiculous." However the ratin...

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Bush Pardons Paris Hilton

Funny story: Bush Pardons Paris Hilton

After pressure from many Republicans to pardon Scooter Libby, President Bush has settled on Paris Hilton instead.

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Basset to Eat Corgi Eater?

Funny story: Basset to Eat Corgi Eater?

Bobbi Basset has plans for his future as an artist. He claims to have the body of corgi eater Mark McGown in a small freezer aboard his private yacht. Bobbi has set sail and plans to create his own art by eating the artist, vomiting him up and eati...

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Moon Crashes into New Mexico Mountain

Funny story: Moon Crashes into New Mexico Mountain

After years of drawing in a string of UFO enthusiasts New Mexico now has something new to see; the moon. Scientists can only speculate why the moon fell from orbit late last Saturday. "We now have both a UFO and an IFO (Identified Falling Objec...

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Judge Sauer to throw Hilton into Lynwood psychiatric wing

Funny story: Judge Sauer to throw Hilton into Lynwood psychiatric wing

California - (Ass Mess): Judge Michael Sauer is poised to throw Paris Hilton into the psychiatric wing of Lynwood jail after a spectacular bravura performance got her off a 23 day custodial sentence on the spurious medical grounds that a staphylococc...

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CBS Resurrects Jericho While ABC Cancels Lost

Funny story: CBS Resurrects Jericho While ABC Cancels Lost

After being bombarded by nuts, CBS executives scurried back and dug up the undead corpse of Jericho for another season. The dead have returned a few times before in the forms of Cagney and Lacey and Designing Women.

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Wolfowitz's Deathstar falls behind schedule due to labor dispute

Funny story: Wolfowitz's Deathstar falls behind schedule due to labor dispute

Somewhere Orbiting Earth - The completion of Paul Wolfowitz's Deathstar has now shifted six weeks to the right -- far behind schedule -- due to a dispute between competing longshoremen's unions. The heated dispute between the International L...

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Big Brother Brings In George Galloway As Mediator

Funny story: Big Brother Brings In George Galloway As Mediator

George Galloway, the ex-Celebrity Big Brother housemate, is set to make a return to the house tonight in the role of 'mediator' as the competition really gets under way.

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Paris Finds Jesus - Gets Rash - Sent Home

Funny story: Paris Finds Jesus - Gets Rash - Sent Home

Beverly Hills_ (Some guy) "I was just looking for the re-creation bathroom. I must have jerked open a closet door and said 'Jesus' - 'YES', a voice answered. It was a white haired man holding a mop or staff in his hands with a f...

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Mexican Immigrant Named Bill Dies in Senate

Funny story: Mexican Immigrant Named Bill Dies in Senate

Bill Jimenez, an illegal émigré from Mexico, whose lone dream was to tour the halls of Congress, rode his donkey across the boarder and all the way to the Capitol Thursday, only to have the donkey stall in the Senate; and then the man who came to be...

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White House to be Outsourced to India

Funny story: White House to be Outsourced to India

Washington, DC - President Bush today announced that the White House will be outsourced to Chennai, India. "All jobs within the White House, except the President and Vice President, will move to India" announced Bush today. President Bush...

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Britons think bacon comes from humans

Funny story: Britons think bacon comes from humans

It emerged on Friday that over 53% of Britons (53.01% to be exact) believe that the contents of their morning fry-up, except the fried bread, come from recently deceased human beings.

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Chimpanzee Unemployment, Homelessness On The Rise

Funny story: Chimpanzee Unemployment, Homelessness On The Rise

BEAVERTON, OREGON (AP Newsliar) -- Unemployment and homelessness is on the rise among the nation's chimpanzee population, amid a decline in the use of primates for animal research.

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George Michael, DUI, Avoids Prison, Gets 100 Hours Toilet Cleaning Instead

Funny story: George Michael, DUI, Avoids Prison, Gets 100 Hours Toilet Cleaning Instead

London UK: Singer George Michael, by his own admission "a 43 year old gay man", narrowly escaped a custodial sentence for DUI at a London court today.

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Wheelchair Lout Finally Trapped By Quick-Thinking Trucker

Funny story: Wheelchair Lout Finally Trapped By Quick-Thinking Trucker

A disabled man who has been the scourge of police forces in North America for more than two years, has finally been caught, thanks to eagle-eyed pedestrians and a quick-thinking truck driver.

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Lord Coe to Ban People with Pubic Hair From Watching Olympics!

Funny story: Lord Coe to Ban People with Pubic Hair From Watching Olympics!

HACKNEY, LONDON - 08/06/07. Lord Coe today continued to anger sports fans by calling for anyone under the age of 11 to be banned from watching any olympic event.

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Epidemic Breaks Out in Prisons After Paris Hilton's Release

Funny story: Epidemic Breaks Out in Prisons After Paris Hilton's Release

Los Angeles, CA: Following the release from prison of socialite Paris Hilton after just 3 days of her 23 day sentence, news is beginning to leak out of an epidemic of crying and mass hysteria that is sweeping the nation's prisons.

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World of Warcraft Player Loses Virginity - In Real World!

Funny story: World of Warcraft Player Loses Virginity - In Real World!

FALMOUTH, MA - 08/06/07. Players of Blizzard's popular online game, "World of Warcraft" were today reeling from the news that one of their brethren had lost their virginity - in the real world.

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Emily Parr was C4 Big Brother Stooge

Funny story: Emily Parr was C4 Big Brother Stooge

Following the spectacle that was Celebrity Big Brother, sparked by racist Jade Goody, Channel 4 lost its lucrative sponsorship deal with the Carphone Whorehouse. C4 was also forced to make no money from the voting and given a stern slap on the wrist...

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Cold War II Set To Hit Cinemas

Funny story: Cold War II Set To Hit Cinemas

Film buffs are chomping at the bit after it was announced this week that the US and Russia were in negotiations to start Cold War II, a sequel to the original blockbuster, Cold War. Wacky stand-up comedian George W Bush and versatil...

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Paris Hilton violated…

Funny story: Paris Hilton violated…

…the terms of her probation and is to return to court today to face the judge who sentenced her to a 43-day jail sentence, of which she only served three days due to being a delicate little flower, albeit one who knows how to adminis...

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Sarkozy auctions Louvre Pyramid - Hungary wins!

Funny story: Sarkozy auctions Louvre Pyramid - Hungary wins!

PARIS (Le Canard enchaîné) - French President Nicolas Sarkozy (Sarko) has auctioned off the Louvre Pyramid to the highest bidder, the Republic of Hungary.

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Tell-All 3-way cell phone call reveals all: Paris Hilton's illness, reason for early release

Funny story: Tell-All 3-way cell phone call reveals all: Paris Hilton's illness, reason for early release

Hollywood, California - The following is a transcript of a 3-way cellular telephone conversation that took place between Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan from 13:00 hours on June 6, to 23:00 hours on June 7, 2007.

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Paris Prison Gift Registrar

Funny story: Paris Prison Gift Registrar

Paris has requested that you forward the following to her with all your love.. _Gai Gai Karraokee PHPA...

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George W Bush has frogs legs! And a tummy ache.

Funny story: George W Bush has frogs legs! And a tummy ache.

President Bush was taken ill at the G8 piss-up in Hergunshmergundam this morning and had to skip a morning working session and even declined his usual breakfast of sausage, eggs, bacon, hash browns, cocaine, baked be...

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Metallica embarks on literature workshop tour

Funny story: Metallica embarks on literature workshop tour

Miami, Florida - In response to a comment by Pulitzer Prize winning columnist Brave Darry of the Miami Herald, Metallica has joined up with other metal bands to start a world literary workshop tour that kicks off this weekend.

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Ron Paul Opposes Republican Nuclear War Lunatics

Funny story: Ron Paul Opposes Republican Nuclear War Lunatics

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Ron Paul was the only one of ten Republican presidential candidates for president to oppose a US attack on Iran using nuclear weapons in the latest TV debate in New Hampshire.

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Renault defies odds - bets on success of Carnot Engine

Funny story: Renault defies odds - bets on success of Carnot Engine

Geneva, Switzerland (Reuterus) - Using some of the brightest minds from the scientific community already at work on the Large Hadron Collider, car manufacturer Renault has set out to mass-produce the 'Holy Grail' of efficiency -- the Carnot E...

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Paris Hilton Has Wrong Size Electronic Tag

Funny story: Paris Hilton Has Wrong Size Electronic Tag

Paris Hilton, released from jail yesterday on the orders of a doctor, will today return to custody so that she can receive a proper fitting for her new bracelet.

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Lottery Winners Outraged At Paris Hilton's Preferential Treatment

Hollywood, CA - With at least eighteen days to go on what should have been a minimum twenty-three day stay at a court ordered Non-Hilton Hotel & Resort, 'billionaire heiress' Paris Hilton was allowed to leave her jail cell and go hom...

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Paris Hilton Headed Back to Jail?

Funny story: Paris Hilton Headed Back to Jail?

Los Angeles, California - Released after serving just 3 days of her 23-day sentence in the Century Regional Detention Facility for women, Paris Hilton was fitted with an electronic ankle bracelet, only to discover she maybe headed back to jail; pendi...

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War on Drugs Ends: Drug Supply Runs Out

Funny story: War on Drugs Ends: Drug Supply Runs Out

The War on Drugs has ended due to a lack of supply, according to a report from DBS News.

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Paris Hilton in Girls Gone Wild - the Prison Edition

Funny story: Paris Hilton in Girls Gone Wild - the Prison Edition

Joe Francis, the brains behind the Girls Gone Wild series, has been incarcerated for the past few weeks for income tax evasion. Joe, never one to look a gift horse in the mouth has been making the rounds of female prison facilities filming Girls Gone...

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John McCain busts Paris' balls

Funny story: John McCain busts Paris' balls

Washington - In a speech triumphed by many Vietnam veterans, Sen. John McCain (R) described the recent events surrounding celebrity Paris Hilton as a "travesty."...

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The Simple Life, to be Filmed in Court and Jail

Funny story: The Simple Life, to be Filmed in Court and Jail

The Simple Life, Season 5, starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie is going to be a bit unorthodox next year. The series, usually set to uncomfortable situations for Paris and Nicole is really going to be even more uncomfortable this round. Set in...

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Global Warming Tied To Untreated Schizophrenia

Funny story: Global Warming Tied To Untreated Schizophrenia

In a connection heretofore overlooked by the world's top scientists, an article published in _Science_ today makes the case for a very strong correlation between people with schizophrenia who do not take anti-psychotics and the melting of the po...

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Cheney Honored by NRA

Funny story: Cheney Honored by NRA

Vice President Richard "Dick" Cheney has been presented the "Guardian of the Second Amendment" award by the National Rifle Association (NRA).

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Political Career Excellent Choice For The Stupid

Funny story: Political Career Excellent Choice For The Stupid

With the strains of Pomp and Circumstance still playing in their ears, many recent graduates are pondering career choices. Pyotr Petrovich, Professor of Political Science at Benedict Arnold University, says that many graduates overlook an obvious ch...

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Presidential Candidates to Compete for Masterdebator Title

Funny story: Presidential Candidates to Compete for Masterdebator Title

This Saturday evening, broadcast on national television from New York City's Madison Square Garden, presidential candidates Hillary Rodham Clinton, John McCain, Mitt Romney, Rudy Giuliani, and Barack Obama, will vie for the title of Masterdebator...

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Nicole Richie's Court Case in Peril Over Paris Hilton Debacle

Funny story: Nicole Richie's Court Case in Peril Over Paris Hilton Debacle

Any celebrities or public personalities with cases pending against them better plan on packing their bags for incarceration in response to Paris Hilton's early release. Speculation is, prosecutors will be over compensating their cases, loaded fo...

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Columbia Signs Rap Group The Johnson 5

Funny story: Columbia Signs Rap Group The Johnson 5

(MUSICMAN PRESS) In a surprising move, recording giant Columbia signed a hefty contract with rap group The Johnson 5 from Kingston, Jamaica.

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Group Protests Paris Hilton's Early Release

Funny story: Group Protests Paris Hilton's Early Release

A group of concerned citizens, calling themselves, "Equal is Equal," is rallying a protest against the release of heiress Paris Hilton. The group is concerned over the rich and privileged being given preferential treatment in our legal sys...

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