'Pity the poor old CIA man assigned to monitoring satirical websites' says UK top cop

Funny story: 'Pity the poor old CIA man assigned to monitoring satirical websites' says UK top cop

New Scotland Yard, SW1 - (Ass Mess): "It's a tough job and we pity the poor CIA bastards that have to do it," said UK top cop Sir Ian Blair today at a London conference dedicated to the monitoring of internet sarcasm, parody, kitch, sat...

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Superdogs being bred in Ireland

Funny story: Superdogs being bred in Ireland

A Swedish lab operating as a "research" facility recently opened in the Middleton area amongst growing concern with locals. Since the highly private complex opened in 2003, the terrier population has dropped radically from 675 in 2003 to ab...

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Bush Administration Bible Blunder

Funny story: Bush Administration Bible Blunder

Sources within the Bush administration speaking on condition of anonymity, revealed today that a Bible presented to The President on 9/12/2001 by the US Department of Faith was i...

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Bush Administration Bible Blunder

Sources within the Bush administration speaking on condition of anonymity, revealed today that a Bible presented to The President on 9/12/2001 by the US Department of Faith Department of Faith Mission Statement was in fact one of several misprints slated for disposal. The Bible is reported to have contained only The Old...

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CENTCOM Opens Base in Africa After $30 Billion Funding for 'AIDS' Program

Funny story: CENTCOM Opens Base in Africa After $30 Billion Funding for 'AIDS' Program

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Africa - CENTCOM, the organization that President Bush created from which to command the military for his New World Order, is opening a base in Africa. This comes after President Bush authorized $30 Billion to fight AIDS there...

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Queen cancels all engagements after losing entire year's Civil List handout on Epsom Derby

Funny story: Queen cancels all engagements after losing entire year's Civil List handout on Epsom Derby

Windsor Castle - (Ass mess): Queen Elizabeth has cancelled all engagements after betting the entire 2007 Civil List handout on the Epsom Derby by backing 16/1 shot Strategic Prince on the Blue Riband showpiece today.

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Bush 'treated for depression' since Blair resignation announcement

Funny story: Bush 'treated for depression' since Blair resignation announcement

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): President George Bush is said to be receiving 'deep tissue colonic irrigation therapies' to combat growing depression following the recent resignation of his Whore on terra pal Tony Blair.

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BP-Affiliated Corrupt Bastards Suspected in New York Airport Terror Plot

Funny story: BP-Affiliated Corrupt Bastards Suspected in New York Airport Terror Plot

New York, NY - (Ass Mess): BP-affiliated Corrupt Bastards Club ringleaders are being sought by the FBI after four suspects were arrested today following a failed attempt to sabotage a fuel pipeline at JFK International in New York.

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Blair laughs off 'imminent arrest' rumors

Funny story: Blair laughs off 'imminent arrest' rumors

Pretoria, South Africa - (Ass Mess): As he boarded his official plane for the return journey home to London from South Africa today UK Prime Monster Tony Blair scoffed at persistent press questioning that he faces 'imminent arrest' when he la...

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MI6 Declassifies Documents on Bush's Changing Position on Global Warming

Funny story: MI6 Declassifies Documents on Bush's Changing Position on Global Warming

London, England - After six years of denial by the Bush's administration, handpicked scientists appointed to tow the official White House policy line that denied global warming ever existed, MI6 documents exposing how Bush changed his mind about...

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Harry Potter and The Sex, Dugs and Rock and Roll

Funny story: Harry Potter and The Sex, Dugs and Rock and Roll

Millionaire Author JK Rowling shocked fans last night by announcing her plans to "Sex Up" her award winning Harry Potter series.

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Four people bill a health insurance campany

Funny story: Four people bill a health insurance campany

NEW YORK - Four people billed a health insurance company for 20 brain operations that were never performed on them, sometimes for the same person on multiple occasions, authorities said.

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Dairy Cow leads coup in Colombia

Funny story: Dairy Cow leads coup in Colombia

The troubled Latin American country of Colombia was left last night in a state of disarray as a small Dairy cow, born in the Channel Islands, lead a successful Military Coup, deposing of the current leader.

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Katie Holmes: I'm Ready for More Kidding the Public

Funny story: Katie Holmes: I'm Ready for More Kidding the Public

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Speaking from the studio set of her next movie 'Made Money' actress Katie Holmes has told reporters she is ready to publicise the next plotlines about her marriage just in time to up the ante on her pre-nupt with movie...

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Big Brother Style Contest for 2009 UK Elections

Funny story: Big Brother Style Contest for 2009 UK Elections

British MP's were left reeling today after Tony Blair, current Prime Minister of the UK, announced major shake ups were on their way for the forthcoming elections.

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Conflicting Stories on Cal-el's T.B. Cause New Conspiracy Theory Debate on YouTube

Funny story: Conflicting Stories on Cal-el's T.B. Cause New Conspiracy Theory Debate on YouTube

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - "The Internets" - Cal Jennings was detained under claims that he entered the U.S. illegally when suffering from T.B. Now, after TheSpoof.com revealed that Cal Jennings is really Cal-el and that he doesn't need a...

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Harry Potter You're Nicked My Son! - Boy Wizard In Chokey After Bender

Funny story: Harry Potter You're Nicked My Son! - Boy Wizard In Chokey After Bender

Boy Wizard, Harry Potter, is today waking up in Azkaban having fallen foul of the Hogshead police after a drunken binge to celebrate his quoits victory.

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USA Is Losing "War on Terror"

Funny story: USA Is Losing "War on Terror"

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- The USA and its allies are losing the "War on Terror" says Defense Secretary Robert Gates.

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England 1 Brazil 1: McClaren Swears On TV

Funny story: England 1 Brazil 1: McClaren Swears On TV

England manager Steve McClanger confessed last night that he had always been a fan of David Beckham, and said that he thought he was "the best player the world had ever seen". There was a s...

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Stupidly obvious news reports on the increase.

Funny story: Stupidly obvious news reports on the increase.

London, AssPress-: It has been noticed by various media watchers that the intelligence level of the average news story has declined of late in an effort to keep up (or down) with the ever decreasing attention span of...

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India warns Iraq with Cold War rhetoric

The cold war days are back, yet again. Both for the superpower status and for the super-backward status.

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Billy Bob's Family

My grandson, Billy Roy Joe Bob, snuck into mah white lighnin' agin. I jest kain keep that grandson o mine away frum tha still.

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Coronation Street Star Les Battersby To Be New James Bond

Funny story: Coronation Street Star Les Battersby To Be New James Bond

The Coronation Street star Les Battersby has been confirmed as the actor chosen to be the new James Bond. The news comes close on the heels of Battersby's sacking from the soap after abusing fans...

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Hefty women with arms like tree trunks head west, lonely losers left back.

Funny story: Hefty women with arms like tree trunks head west, lonely losers left back.

Europe - Bloomburgerandfries - The former East Germany is being drained of sturdy young lasses, leaving an underclass of thick as pig-shit men behind, a study says.

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Lindsay Lohan Addicted to Sex & Beverly Hillbilly Heroin

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Addicted to Sex & Beverly Hillbilly Heroin

BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA (PIXLEY GAZZETTE) --Lindsay Lohan, 20, strung-out & drugged-out starlet has checked into Britney Spear's old alma mater, The Promises Rehab Center by the Sea for Losers in Malibu. Loser...

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Steroids to be Allowed for MLB Players

Funny story: Steroids to be Allowed for MLB Players

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig announced today that Major League Baseball will abandon all drug testing and will allow athletes the use of any and all performance enhancing substances. "The athletes are all doping up behind our backs anyway", Sel...

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Man hen-pecked to death

Funny story: Man hen-pecked to death

MEXICO (International Herald Tribune) - A middle-aged Tijuana man died Friday while cleaning the bird pen at a local petting zoo.

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Bush Pushes For New International Currency

Funny story: Bush Pushes For New International Currency

(MUSICMAN PRESS) "He's at again I tell ya; Bush is a dangerous man, and we need a more realistic leader in office. Let's lose the lunatic," said Fox News reporter Sean Hannity, once he learned of Bush's new economic plan.

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Lindsay Lohan Throwing Frisbees at the Sun

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan Throwing Frisbees at the Sun

Los Angeles - Lindsay Lohan, the cute young thing that sings and acts, was spotted yesterday throwing Frisbees at the sun. Other celebrities spotted included Tommy Lee and David Hasselhoff, engaged in activities of slightly lesser importance.

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Red Rocket

Funny story: Red Rocket

Red Rocket taxi company has announced plans to replace New York City's "green cabs" with their own Red Rockets. No longer will drivers waste fuel while sitting in traffic and following city streets. Red Rockets will simply fly over th...

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T-rex Rosie Replacement

Funny story: T-rex Rosie Replacement

Only one day after CBS announced David Letterman, of the Late Show, will be replaced by George W. Bush word comes that Rosie O'Donnell of The View will be replaced with Gracie Rex, a tyrannosaurus. "We really wanted someone with a kinder, g...

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