There were 2,149 spoof news stories published in 2005. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.

Fury over 'Marijuana is Good for You' Campaign
Hungary's quiet arrival into the European Union has given way to a blazing row after the Magyars declared 'marijuana is good for you' in a bold bid to boost tax revenue. The country's new approach to 'soft drugs', however, has met hard line opposi...
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New Weight Loss Plan: The M&M's Diet
Nutrition experts at candy company M&M Mars have released the newest weight lost method to hit the market: the M&M's diet. Selections from an interview with company spokesman, Skip Wiffleball, are listed below:...
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Maria Sharapova Shaving Tips!
WIMBLEDON, England (SPORTS SPECIAL) Maria Sharapova is turning all heads at Wimbledon in her direction. The blond, leggy Russian girl is the #1 reason most people even show up for these tennis matches.
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Anti-Rape Condom Superceded by Vaginal Land Mine
Capetown, South Africa (Wreiters) - After a South African inventor unveiled a new anti-rape female condom on Wednesday, arms manufactuer Denel announced its "even more lethal vaginal land mine." According to Denel spokesperson Gunner Downs,...
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Laura Bush Converts to Islam, Enters Harem
RIYADH (AFP)-International tensions continue to grow over the disastrous goodwill tour of Laura Bush, the wife of United States President George W, Bush, after the American First Lady secretly converted to Islam in Jerusalem and later entered a harem...
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Korean Manufacturer Debuts Lightsabre
Samsung, the leading electronics manufacturer has announced today that it has successfully developed a fully working Lightsabre.
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Michael Jackson dies of heart failure.
Pop singer and paedophile Michael Jackson, has died at the age of 46. The entertainer died in his private apartment near the Santa Maria courthouse at 2137 local time (0337 GMT) on Saturday, surrounded by his closest family members.
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Top 10 Reasons Why Michael Jackson Needs to Go to Prison:
10. Michael Jackson's nose. That disgusting chunk of plastic that Jackson now parades around as "his nose" is an affront to even the least talented Hollywood plastic surgeon. Michael Jackson has refused to face up to the fact tha...
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Michael Jackson's Neverland For Sale
NEVERLAND RANCH, CALIFORNIA - Michael Jackson has put his Neverland Ranch on the market. Several area real estate firms have recently listed the sprawling estate. "Mr. Jackson has plans to be away from his beloved Neverland Ranch for an indeterminat...
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Aishwarya Rai to Appear on Jerry Springer !
Deemed by millions as the World's Most Beautiful Woman, Aishwarya Rai burst upon the international stage when her striking beauty, poise and commanding intelligence won her the Miss World crown in 1994. She is the reigning Queen of Bollywood, the hig...
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Press summit held to create Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie media nickname
Shirley Knott: HOLLYWOOD - As the media continues struggling to find an appropriate nickname for the Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston split, the entrance of Angelina Jolie on the fringe of the failed Pitt marriage is wreaking extra nickna...
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Sick Truth Behind Andre The Giant's Death
Sex scientist and forensics expert Dr. Rudolph Lassaratte today announced the results of the ten year long autopsy of professional wrestler Andre the Giant, aka Andre Rene Roussimoff. Andre died January 27, 1993 and his autopsy took as long as it di...
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Naked Sushi Girls on Western Menu
The Chinese government's ban on restaurants from serving food on the bodies of naked women has led to a flood of 'Sushi Suzies' trying to find work in the West. But initial reports indicate the culinary requirements of a different culture...
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George Bush Busted!
"THE RANCH" CRAWFORD, TEXAS (AP) Local law enforcement officers seized a large quantity of marijuana from the ranch owned by President George Bush. In an early morning raid, undercover officers swooped into the old ranch house, whi...
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Amateur Video of Panther Cheerleaders Having Stall Sex Surfaces
TAMPEX, Fla. - Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders arrested after having sex in a restroom stall were caught on video by one of the irritated patrons waiting to pee. The patron, sporting a Nikon Coolpix 5100, recorded approximately 3 minutes of vide...
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Brad Pitt Pregnant
The Oxro Clinic of Finland has contacted Brad Pitt announcing they have successfully made mothers out of guys. This one step procedure would produce a child in nine months without the need of Jennifer Aniston. Let her pursue her fledgling career. No...
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Plastic surgeon claims responsibility for Ashlee Simpson lip sync disaster
NEW YORK - Dr. Jonelson Smith, the famed British plastic surgeon who performed rhinoplasty and eye enlargement on Ashlee Simpson, revealed today that while Ashlee Simpson was under the knife, he accidentally removed her talent.
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Whatever Happened to Johnny Rotten?
What happened to the inspirational punk we all know and love that is Johnny Rotten? After the early 1980's he just seemed to disappear and the punk era seemed to come to a close. A recent confession by one-hit wonder Rick Astley has shocked the...
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Britney Spears Arrested in New York
NEW YORK (Reuters) Pop singer Britney Spears is waiting to be bailed out of jail after being arrested Tuesday on charges of insurance fraud. Several international insurance companies are cooperating in the investigation against the 23 year-old singer...
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First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff
WASHINGTON (AP) Wherever First Lady Laura Bush travels these days, people are remarking at how wonderful she looks. Visitors to the White House have noticed quite a change in Laura Bush's appearance. "She looks so… uh… healthy!&quo...
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Matt Hardy buys WWE
A surprise press conference was held today at the offices of World Wrestling Entertainment to announce the company's new owner. Matt Hardy.
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Fruitcake Attacks, Devours Pit Bull
Houston, TX : Yesterday a 9-inch fruitcake attacked and ate a full-grown pit bull. Rocky was a 4 year old American Pit Bull Terrier weighing in at just over 75 lbs.
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No-talent kid says he is Bob Dylan's son
NEW YORK CITY -- A young man claiming to be the son of Bob Dylan has come forward to say that he cannot follow in his father's footsteps because he has no talent and doesn't care to have any.
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Bin Laden announces his retirement
Pakistan. Osama Bin Laden has announced he plans to retire early at the end of the year. The Al Queda chief executive revealed his surprise decision in a taped speech which was broadcast by an Arab news network early on Monday afternoon.
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God proclaims George Bush "Jesus Christ Almighty"
In a bold political move, the president formerly known as George W. Bush today announced that he had legally changed his name to Jesus Christ Almighty.
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Tweety Dead of Bird Flu
Warner Brothers' cartoon character Tweety Bird has been the latest death from the mysterious bird flu. Tweety was one of the first Americans and the biggest name star to contact and die due to the illness.
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Victoria Gotti: "I'll make you an offer you can't refuse!"
UNDISCLOSED LOCATION (AP) Victoria Gotti doesn't play games. A Spoof reporter on assignment to interview the daughter of mob boss John Gotti soon found out that Victoria has some secrets that are best left… secret! Spoof's Morgan Truce began phoning...
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Prince William getting fat and going bald
London. (Spoof International News) Prince William, second in line to the British throne, has reportedly recently gained excessive weight, and has become very concerned about his accelerating hair loss.
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Paris Hilton's Night with William Hung
Hollywood, CA, U.S.A. - The dream boy of thousands of women has finally lost his virginity to none other than Paris Hilton. William Hung, a huge Ricky Martin fan and admired contestant for American Idol spent "the night in Paris" la...
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Amber Frey Dating Again!
CALIFORNIA (AP) Between her appearances in court to testify against Scott Peterson, Amber Frey has resumed her active social life and is dating one "very special man". Her last dating experience with Scott Peterson didn't go so well for Amber...
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Angelina Jolie says Brad Pitt smells 'badly'
NEW YORK - In an interview recently given by Angelina Jolie, the actress says she "thinks the world" of Brad Pitt - but never slept with him, probably because "he smells badly."...
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Controversy Over Photo of Pope John Paul II
VATICAN ((AP) As hundreds of mourners walked past Pope John Paul II's body which was laying in state in the frescoed Apostolic Palace, many hushed whispers broke out as the people got close to the body. The mourners generally remained respectful...
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Angelina Jolie's Lips Explode
HOLLYWOOD (AP) Angelina Jolie was rushed to the hospital this morning after a freak accident resulted in massive trauma to the beautiful actress. The fire rescue crew that transported Ms. Jolie to the hospital reported that her face looked like she w...
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Stick-Figure-Man Wins Copyright Lawsuit
In a stunning victory today, Stick-Figure-Man (S-F-M) won his decades long lawsuit against the world. Experts predict that the reward he'll earn for copyright infringement and libel will be in the high billions if not trillions.
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Orlando Bloom gets his ears
Lord of the Rings star, Orlando Bloom, has recently announced that he will be having a plastic surgery in the near future. Not just any plastic surgery. Bloom, who played the elven prince Legolas in Lord of the Rings, will be having his ears stretc...
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Paris Hilton, Laura Bush and Hillary Clinton to Train as Suicide Bombers
WASHINGTON-Three of America's top women notables have announced that they will train as suicide bombers "to teach those Muslim girls a thing or two" they indicated in a press statement.
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WalMart Store Closings Spread
TORONTO (AP) A loud noise was heard in Jonquiere, Quebec as the door slammed shut at the local WalMart store. The worldwide retailing giant decided to close the doors to its store rather than give in to demands to unionize the huge discount store. Th...
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Hunter Thompson Suicide Note Found
ASPEN - Hunter S. Thompson, who fatally shot himself at his Colorado home Sunday night, left behind a 352-page suicide note, say Aspen police. According to the note, which will be published in book form by Rolling Stone early next week, Thomps...
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Dennis Rader having tough time in El Dorado State Prison
EL DORADO, Kansas (AP) Within hours of arriving at the maximum security prison here Friday to begin serving the rest of his life in prison for 10 killings, BTK serial killer Dennis Rader has been the target of numerous assaults. During fingerprinting...
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Scientific Study: Is A Frog's Ass Water Tight?
MIAMI, FLORIDA - Scientists from all over the world have gathered in Florida this week to study the age-old question: Is a frog's ass water tight?...
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Bush bids for Popeye's arms on ebay
IN AN MOVING emergency address to the nation, President George W Bush last night dropped a bombshell on his fellow Americans when he delivered the news that he has purchased cartoon superstar Popeye's arms to aid against the war on global terror.
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Moore to weave his magic on next Harry Potter book
Sizzling in the acclaim for Fahrenheit 9/11, Michael Moore has accepted the invitation to direct the sixth Harry Potter film.
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Wal-Mart to Begin Selling UltraLight Airplane Kits
Wal-Mart Supercenters across the country are making room in their Sporting Goods departments for a new line of ultralight aircraft kits. The small single engine aircraft were made popular after John Walton, heir to the Wal-Mart fortune, recently mad...
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Minorities Upset About New Cable TV Network: White Entertainment Television (WET)
(AP) Minority groups across the United States were visually upset and preparing to march against their local cable companies at the announcement of a new television station. White Entertainment Television (WET) will make its debut in November on ove...
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50 Cent Awarded Purple Heart
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- At a packed press conference in 50 Cent's hometown, President Bush made an appearance to honor 50 for his remarkable accomplishments and achievements to the hood and the gangsta way of life. Many of 50's friends were on...
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WWE fires entire roster
Stanford,Conn -- In stunning news today, WWE terminated all of it's contracted wrestlers, except for Paul Lavesque, AKA Triple H.
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Britney Spears' secret marriage to Adolf Hitler
Last week in Las Vegas the Pop Princess and the most evil man ever to live were secretly wed at the "Lucky Larry" Marriage Chapel.
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Sister Paris Hilton gives tips to young women
BELMAR, NJ (AP) In her first public appearance since taking vows in the Catholic Church, Sister Paris Hilton gave a talk to an assembly of girls at the St. Rose High School in this seaside town. Touching on many topics important to young women, Siste...
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Scott Peterson, Mark Hacking, OJ Simpson: "DON'T Do-it-Yourself!"
CHICAGO (AP) The spouse killing business is showing a profitable increase in the 2nd quarter. One anonymous hired wife killer told our reporter, "There are a lot of husbands out there that want to get rid of their wives. Usually it's all about sex, b...
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Britney Spears Gives Second Recorded Virgin Birth
(AP) Entertainer and virgin Britney Spears gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. A spokesman for the singer gave this statement: "The baby was born through normal means. While he did come into the world naked, it was done tastefully and was not sexua...
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Babysitter & Toddlers Have Party. Busted By Police
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. - A 37 year-old man was arrested when two toddlers he was supposed to be babysitting, were found drunk.
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Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston split causes nickname nightmare
HOLLYWOOD - A special meeting of members of the US and foreign press was held today in an effort to create a catchy news title for celebrity couple Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston.
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Kate Hudson Sues Tabloids for Anorexia Accusations
Actress Kate Hudson, daughter of Goldie Hawn, has sued several tabloids due to their all running pictures of the actress that show her as having an eating disorder. The young actress was nominated for an Academy Award for her work in Almost Famous.
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American Idol Shocker: Scott Savol Quits, Apologizes for Wasting Viewers' Time
Los Angeles - The big news of this American Idol season was supposed to be last week when popular rocker Constantine Maroulis was booted from competition. As of today, that news seems tame.
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Police on 24-hour duty at Debra Lafave's Home.
TAMPA FLORIDA - (AP) Local law enforcement officers have been kept busy at one unlikely Tampa residence. Ever since the details of sex offender Debra Lafave's home confinement sentence were announced several days ago, a steady stream of young boys h...
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Britney Spears Loses Ability to "Drop It Like It's Hot"
Malibu, CA - Recently remarried and former pop princess Britney Spears has reportedly lost the ability to "drop it like it's hot". Sources close to the singer failed to finger one particular cause, but speculation in Tinsel Town is rampant.
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Paris Hilton Forced to Hide
Paris Hilton is hard to find lately. Up until recently, all she had to do was step out the door and hundreds of photographers would climb over each other to get a picture of the beautiful heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune. Paris Hilton used to love...
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AFP Photo of Katrina Debit Card #: Priceless
Astrodome: Within two minutes of AFP photographer Stanly Honda electronically publishing a photo of Katrina victim Latesha Vinette holding up her Red Cross debit card, Ms. Vinette was paged by the management of Reliant stadium to receive a call from...
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Pillsbury Doughboy Sick of Being Poked
After receiving the horrible news of having acid reflux, the Pillsbury doughboy told Americans around America that he was sick of being poked. This is horrible news for Pillsbury, who has based their campaign for years around the cute sound that the...
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Victoria Gotti And Her Boys Are Going Into The Family Business
Huntington and New York, New York---Today, it is not only possible to Grow Up Gotti, but also to Buy Gotti, Eat Gotti, Look Gotti and Live Gotti.
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Verizon Guy Sued for Telephone Harassment
BREWSTER, NY - Paul Marcarelli, better known to millions of television viewers as "the Verizon guy," has been sued for sexual harassment and making terroristic threats by telephone. The suit was filed by Marcarelli's ex-fiancé, Julia Richardson, in B...
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Fashion news - Chinese develop fuller chests
Shanghai -- Believed by most Westerners to be capable only of producing cheap plastic crap sold at Wal-Mart stores, China today shocked the fashion world by sending down the runway a Chinese model equipped with boobs. Sukon Dees, a professional Chi...
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"Bedtime with Michael Jackson" - appearing on PBS
MARYLAND (AP) Public Broadcasting Service announced this week that PBS stations would start carrying a new children's show called "Bedtime with Michael Jackson". "We felt like we had to pick up the slack in our children's p...
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New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin placed on suicide watch in wake of Hurricane Katrina
NEW ORLEANS (AP) "He looks stoned to me." He looks like a man who can't decide whether to run away or stuff his head in the oven!" Comments like these were heard all over Louisiana as New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin made statements on TV in the mids...
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Clay Aiken and William Hung to Record a Duet Together
In a move that's rocked the music industry to its core, Clay Aiken and William Hung have joined pop culture forces to perform a duet together. It's been dubbed, She Bangs...Her Head Against the Wall Because That Would Be Less Painful Liste...
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Hurricane Charlie Moved by Hurricane Wilma
FLORIDA (AP) Many people in Florida were harmed by Hurricane Wilma, but few as much as Charlie Sturgeon ---- known by all his friends as "Hurricane Charlie". Hurricane Charlie has been living aboard his small twenty-foot sailboat for the past...
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Tom Selleck Victim of Botched Plastic Surgery
Crying foul and looking fouler, Tom Selleck has decided to sue plastic surgeon Ismar Ramsi after Ramsi botched a nose, face, and eye job on Selleck.
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Jennifer Wilbanks: "I hate those big Georgia weddings!"
DULUTH, GEORGIA (AP) Jennifer Wilbanks was supposed to get married to John Mason this weekend, but instead got on a Greyhound bus and traveled across the country. "I always liked those long trips on the Greyhound," says Jennifer. "My family is pretty...
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Harvard Should Drop Math and Science for Women Says University's President
UTICA, N.Y. - Harvard President Lawrence H. Summers, who created a firestorm when he suggested two weeks ago that biological differences between the sexes may explain why fewer women succeed in math and science careers, now wants Harvard to stop offe...
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Michael Jackson Visits Paris Hilton in Hospital
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) The large crowd of people gathered in front of San Francisco General Hospital hoping to get in to visit Paris Hilton swelled to thousands more as word got out that entertainer Michael Jackson was up on the third floor visiting his...
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'Perfect' first flight for Airbus, But Putin Sells Nukes Variation To Syria To Attack US?
The world's biggest nuclear missile manufacture and their first line product, the European Airbus system A380, has been sold to Syria. Putin, the Russian sales agent is expected to get a megaton bonus this year for closing the deal in Israel toda...
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Alan Greenspan Charged With Killing Off Middle Class, Setting Stage for Economic Collapse
WASHINGTON-Alan Greenspan was arrested on Monday at the US Federal Reserve and formally charged with killing off large sections of the American middle class after police read the new book "Greenspan's Fraud" by best-selling author and Economics Profe...
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Whedon Considering Affleck as Wonder Woman
In a bold move by newly announced writer/producer of the Wonder Woman movie, Joss Whedon revealed he's considering Ben Affleck for the leading role.
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Historians discover - Foam, not an Iceberg sank the Titanic
Foam, according to Discovery Channel historians, sent the SS Titanic plummeting to the bottom of the Icy Atlantic. Jan Draker, noted shipwreck historian told reporters, "Yes the ship hit a 250 ton iceberg but the Titanic sank the ICEBERG. Not...
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Jennifer Wilbanks Too Annoying to remain Kidnapped
In an all ready bizare story a new twist has developed. New Mexico police report that shortly after the 911 call from Willbanks they received a second call form the alledeged abductors.
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Janet Jackson's Love Child: The First Picture
Depsite denying allegations from and ex-brother in law that she has a child, pictures surfaced today of the now 18 year old "figment of someone's imagination" Jackson offspring The young adult bears a striking resemblance to Janet'...
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Santa Claus Resorts to Outsourcing to Counter Production Plight
NORTH POLE (Reuters)-Prohibitive production problems and local labor loopholes have forced the Jolly Ole Elf to seek alternative budgetary strategies or else cease global toy distribution operations altogether.
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Apple Announces $99 iMac !
CUPERTINO CA (AP) Apple Computer will announce at MacWorld Expo a sub-$100 Macintosh computer-aimed at iPod hungry Windows users. Until now, most Windows users were too cheap to kick in over a thousand dollars for an easy-to-use Macintosh computer, s...
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Minnie Mouse BUSTED!
In a bazaar "routine gone bad" at Orlando's Walt Disney World theme park, star attraction Minnie Mouse had a rather unexpected "coming out" at a daily performance on the main fairway.
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London Bombings - Anti looking at people in a funny way Law Introduced
In the wake of the recent totally unsurprising bomb attacks on the London Transport system the British Government have introduced a raft of new measures designed to show that something is being done.
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Harry Starts Fascist Fashion Craze
Nazi regalia - it's the new fashion craze that's hit the Western world like a blitzkrieg.
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Is New Buffalo Nickel Gay?
The United States Mint is facing a political firestorm over whether the new buffalo nickel is gay. The new nickel, which resurrects the buffalo image after an 87-year absence, has been targeted by several conservative and religious groups. Dr. Jam...
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NASA's Hubble Space Telescope Targeted by Bush Administration
FORT SILL, OK (STARS & STRIPES) Within moments of the Bush Administration's failure to fund repairs to the NASA Hubble Space Telescope, an order was given to the US Army 30th Field Artillery Regiment to shoot down the aging telescope from its orb...
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Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes to star in remake of The Gay Divorcée
Shirley Knott: HOLLYWOOD - On the heels of a recent nomination for a Daytime Emmy for his dance performance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, megastar Tom Cruise has announced that he will soon begin filming a remake of the 1934 Hollywo...
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British Airways pilot flippantly tells passengers they'll probably die
London. England. A BA pilot was at the centre of yet another scandal yesterday after his terrifying message to the passengers was recorded and leaked to the press. The scandal comes in the wake of two plane crashes in the space of three days - o...
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Paris Hilton's Naughty Christmas Card List
LOS ANGELES (AP) Paris Hilton sent out hundreds of Christmas cards this year to her ‘special friends'. The list mysteriously made it to the desk of one of Hollywood's most notorious gossip columnists---a close associate of one of our reporters. One...
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Gates Gets Knighthood Queen Gets Virus
BUCKINGHAM PALACE - Shortly after the private ceremony in which she conferred knighthood on Microsoft founder Bill Gates yesterday, Queen Elizabeth II began "operating sluggishly," said a Buckingham Palace spokesperson.
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Congress changes spelling of "nucleus" to "nuculus"
WASHINGTON (API) - In order to eliminate a specific criticism of President George W. Bush, who pronounces "nuclear" as "noo-kyu-lar", the GOP leadership in Congress has passed a resolution changing the spelling of a subatomic part...
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Expert Comedian Roseanne Reveals Appalling Shocker - She's Married to Simon Cowell!
Secret weddings seem common these days, don't they? We here at The Spoof were baffled to find out that quite recently, comedian Roseanne, who earned popularity in the late 1980's with the self titled, family themed sitcom has very sud...
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Revelation: Adam and Eve were Irish
Garden of Eden, Ireland - Anthropologist, Dr. Devin O'Hara of the Smithsonian Institute has uncovered viable evidence that supports the long held belief, that Ireland is truly "God's Country" and the birthplace of all that is good and human.
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Kermit Celebrates the Big 5-0, Turns Back on 'Friends'
NICK-AT-NITE, CA-Kermit the Frog celebrated his fiftieth birthday this week and his fellow Muppets are outraged at the posh party thrown for the fun-loving frog and children's television icon. Why are they so mad? They weren't invited to the puppet p...
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Winnie the Pooh Comes Out of the Closet
(AP) Winnie the Pooh, that silly old bear, announced at a news conference in Toon Town that he is gay. The revelation, of course, drew no astonishment from those in attendance. The surprise, however, was reserved for the revelation of his lover...
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Black Pixel Shortage Threatens Internet!
Unconfirmed Sources report that the world supply of black pixels is running out. The shortage is believed to be caused in part by the overuse of exclamation points (!) in online humor web sites and blogs. Experts from around the globe are gathering i...
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New Dead Sea Scrolls Translation Prove Da Vinci Code False
Translators, Archaeologists, and Bible Scholars in Jerusalem have just finished work on the translation of another of the Dead Sea Scrolls. This one, known as The Gospel of Peter, also describes the time period after the crucifixion (historically co...
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Reality Sex on Fox TV
The FOX Network announced a new reality TV show for the fall lineup. Each weekly episode will feature a well known Hollywood or small screen celebrity traveling to a different city or location and having sex with the ordinary folks who happen to live...
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Schumacher Confident About New McTeam
It was all change at the top today in Formula 1 as first a new team was announced, and then their prize scalp was revealed - Michael Schumacher. Instead of cruising to almost certain victory for Ferrari this season, Schumacher has elected to join the...
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