In a stunning victory today, Stick-Figure-Man (S-F-M) won his decades long lawsuit against the world. Experts predict that the reward he'll earn for copyright infringement and libel will be in the high billions if not trillions.
Anyone who has drawn him without the expressed written permission of himself and/or Stick-Figure-World will be forced to pay monetary damages. Those being forced to pay will include doodlers, Flash animation artists, safety label manufacturers, Aborigines (and their ancestors), spoof news sites, cross-walk sign makers, and most of all, little children.
A retraction and public apology will be demanded as well.
Experts predict that S-F-M will acquire 25-30% of the world's economy. The news has sent all global stock markets into a tailspin. Riots with burning cars have been reported around the world as well.
Mr. S-F-M had a few words to say outside on the courthouse steps:
"I want to thank my lawyers for their tireless efforts in this matter on my behalf. And oh yeah, up yours you three-dimensional freaks! Ha ha! How you like that, huh? (shaking booty at cameras) I'm going to rule the world! Oh yeah! And as for my lawyers, I'm going to buy their firm and fire 'em all. Don't like it? Tough doo-doo you losers! Where's Bill Gates? He's gonna ride on the back of my Harley, if you know what I mean. Yeah, baby! Yeah!"
Stick-Figure-Man then ran down the steps and entered a black Ford Excursion stretch limo where a busty Stick-Figure-Girl was awaiting him with champagne and cigars. As the vehicle sped off S-F-M rolled down the window, gave everyone the finger and shouted, "Bling, bling, you dookey-heads! Bling, bling! "
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