Paris Hilton Forced to Hide

Funny story written by Morgan Truce

Friday, 7 October 2005

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Paris Hilton is hard to find lately. Up until recently, all she had to do was step out the door and hundreds of photographers would climb over each other to get a picture of the beautiful heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune. Paris Hilton used to love all the attention and seemed to go out of her way to make sure that her picture was on the cover of every magazine. Gossip columnists are still busy trying to find out what just Paris did to that editor to get her picture on the cover of Outlaw Biker Tattoo Revue.

But now the spotlight on Paris Hilton is hardly a flicker of light. It all started last month when the manager of the actual Paris Hilton Hotel, Mssr. Art Nouveau threatened to quit his position if the Hilton heiress would not stop interfering with the business of the Paris Hilton Hotel.

"How can I run a first class hotel?" asked Nouveau waving his hands in the air. "Half of our guests book a room months in advance. When they arrive, we show them every possible courtesy. But as soon as they get settled in their room, they're on the phone to the front desk complaining, ‘Where is Paris Hilton? I paid for a an evening with Paris Hilton and I want her to come to my room immediately!' Now, I've been in the hotel business for many years and I do not run that kind of hotel. I knew that I must put a stop to all the confusion between Paris Hilton and the Paris Hilton Hotel. So, I wrote Ms. Paris Hilton a letter and asked her to either change her name or stop being such a publicity hound." Manager Art Nouveau's letter must have worked: complaints at the hotel have declined during the past month and all the guests now seem quite happy with the accommodations.

But what of Paris Hilton---where is the lovely Paris these days? A National Geographic reporter doing a story on declining walrus populations claims to have spotted Paris Hilton vacationing among the Eskimos not too far from the North Pole. "For a city girl, she sure has made quite a transformation! She's learned to hunt walrus and chew the leather for the whole village's garments. She lives in an igloo most of the year, and manages to stay away from most photographers."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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