There were 183 spoof news stories published in May 2005. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Laura Bush Converts to Islam, Enters Harem

Funny story: Laura Bush Converts to Islam, Enters Harem

RIYADH (AFP)-International tensions continue to grow over the disastrous goodwill tour of Laura Bush, the wife of United States President George W, Bush, after the American First Lady secretly converted to Islam in Jerusalem and later entered a harem...

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Top 10 Reasons Why Michael Jackson Needs to Go to Prison:

Funny story: Top 10 Reasons Why Michael Jackson Needs to Go to Prison:

10. Michael Jackson's nose. That disgusting chunk of plastic that Jackson now parades around as "his nose" is an affront to even the least talented Hollywood plastic surgeon. Michael Jackson has refused to face up to the fact tha...

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Naked Sushi Girls on Western Menu

Funny story: Naked Sushi Girls on Western Menu

The Chinese government's ban on restaurants from serving food on the bodies of naked women has led to a flood of 'Sushi Suzies' trying to find work in the West. But initial reports indicate the culinary requirements of a different culture...

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American Idol Shocker: Scott Savol Quits, Apologizes for Wasting Viewers' Time

Funny story: American Idol Shocker: Scott Savol Quits, Apologizes for Wasting Viewers' Time

Los Angeles - The big news of this American Idol season was supposed to be last week when popular rocker Constantine Maroulis was booted from competition. As of today, that news seems tame.

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Hells Angels to Take Over War on Terrorism

Funny story: Hells Angels to Take Over War on Terrorism

The Bush Administration plans to announce this week that the legendary motorcycle gang, Hells Angels, will be taking over the struggling war on terrorism.

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Jennifer Wilbanks will Plead Guilty to Conspiracy

Funny story: Jennifer Wilbanks will Plead Guilty to Conspiracy

DULUTH GEORGIA (AP) "Jennifer Wilbanks will plead guilty to conspiracy in her disappearance from her upcoming wedding," says Gwinnett District Attorney Danny Porter. "After reviewing all the particulars of this case, we brought in Jennifer...

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Jennifer Wilbanks Couldn't Shoplift Fiancé's Virginity

Funny story: Jennifer Wilbanks Couldn't Shoplift Fiancé's Virginity

Convicted shoplifter Jennifer Wilbanks grew increasingly frustrated by her inability to seduce "born again virgin" John Mason. It is thought that Jennifer even took John on shoplifting expeditions to Victoria's Secret - thinking that the thrill of st...

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U.S. Sends Jedis to Iraq

Funny story: U.S. Sends Jedis to Iraq

Washington D.C.- During a Department of Defense press conference on Friday, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced that the United States would deploy it's brigades of Jedi Knights to the war in Iraq. "Only the Jedi can restore ord...

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Tom Cruise: "I didn't sleep with Michael Jackson!"

Funny story: Tom Cruise: "I didn't sleep with Michael Jackson!"

SANTA MARIA, CA -- Appearing as a witness for the defense in the Michael Jackson molestation trial, Hollywood heartthrob Tom Cruise set the record straight about his past experience with Michael Jackson. Before a packed courtroom, Tom Cruise...

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U.S. Steals Lake - Mocks Russian Village

Funny story: U.S. Steals Lake - Mocks Russian Village

The Russian village of Bolotnikovo, where Stalinist Brainwashing remains the religion of choice, is renowned as a peaceful place. Just east of Moscow, it has always been a place where children roam the streets unafraid of kidnappers or bullies; a pla...

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Saddam Hussein Signs Underwear Deal with Calvin Klein

Funny story: Saddam Hussein Signs Underwear Deal with Calvin Klein

NEW YORK - Calvin Klein announced a three-year deal with Saddam Hussein in which the former Iraqi dictator would appear in a series of advertisements modeling fashionable underwear. "We want to show the world that every man can improve his image by w...

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TSA Screeners Confiscate Fruit Trees, Detain SNL Actor

Funny story: TSA Screeners Confiscate Fruit Trees, Detain SNL Actor

This afternoon airport security screeners at a Florida airport detained two suspicious individuals and confiscated several mango trees that the pair attempted to smuggle through a security checkpoint.

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Hitler's dentist describes Adolf's final days

Funny story: Hitler's dentist describes Adolf's final days

SUMMERVILLE, N.J. -- Adolf Hitler was a shivering, boney, weakened man who sang to himself in the days before his suicide in 1945, according to a newly published account of Adolf's dentist, Emil Brustermeister, who cared for Adolf's mouth as Allied f...

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McCartney takes over Cream reunion to grand applause

Funny story: McCartney takes over Cream reunion to grand applause

LONDON -- Paul McCartney showed up at the recent Cream reunion in London and took the place of all three Cream members for six songs.

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Body of Jesus Found Outside Jerusalem

Funny story: Body of Jesus Found Outside Jerusalem

A team of archaeologists from the University of Chicago, working with the Israeli Museum of Aniquities, has disovered a burial site three kilometers outside Jerusalem with remains of three to five bodies believed to date from the 1st century AD. &qu...

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Paganism rages in Britain

Funny story: Paganism rages in Britain

BOXBERRY, Great Britain -- A new study indicates that Paganism and the ancient art of witchcraft are on the rise in Britain. "Television, the World Wide Web, environmentalism, lo-carb diets and even feminism have all played a role in the resurgence,"...

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Eddie Albert sightings rampant in U.S.

Funny story: Eddie Albert sightings rampant in U.S.

GRAND MARSHALL, Texas -- Eddie Albert, the versatile actor on Broadway, in movies and on television, known most for his role on Green Acres, died at his home in the Pacific Palisades area of California recently.

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Mason denies claim of found fiancé Wilbanks

Funny story: Mason denies claim of found fiancé Wilbanks

Duluth, Georgia - After a jaunt by plane, Jennifer Wilbanks was delivered back to Georgia where she was met by family and friends. Amongst of which was John Mason her Groom. John who, was worried the entire time of her absence, came face to face and...

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Michael Jackson Fathers Brood of Puppies

Funny story: Michael Jackson Fathers Brood of Puppies

Torrance, CA - The self-proclaimed "King of Pop" is at it again, this time in a slightly different manner. In an interspecies mating first, Michael Jackson has become the proud father of six cocker spaniel puppies.

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Lucas Strikes Back - 32 Additional Star Wars Movies Announced

Funny story: Lucas Strikes Back - 32 Additional Star Wars Movies Announced

The Daily Swill, Hollywood CA - Citing insufficient assets and his desire to give back to his loyal fans, George Lucas, the true super hero behind the Star Wars movie empire, announced today that he would release 32 additional Star Wars movies over t...

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Inflatable House Sells for $1,300,000

Funny story: Inflatable House Sells for $1,300,000

LOS ANGELES TIMES--A world record of $1,300,000 was set in late May for the price of an inflatable house in the overheated California housing market. The buyer, Buster Mornduck, said he was lucky to get the home given the extreme competition for infl...

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IBM Super Computer To Take On Noughts And Crosses World Champ

Funny story: IBM Super Computer To Take On Noughts And Crosses World Champ

Following in the path of their chess playing, Kasparov-beating "Deep Blue", computer giants IBM have gone out again and astounded the game world. In creating a "super-computer" devised to win every time at Noughts and Crosses (th...

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eBay Prosecutes First "Bid-snatcher"

Funny story: eBay Prosecutes First "Bid-snatcher"

Here you sit waiting for the final minutes to drip by as you wait expentantly for the Limmited Edition signed XXL black T-Shirt from the premiere party of Hellraiser III to drop into your sweaty stubby fingers. Then, just as you throw back the last g...

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Patients Succumb To Rodent Disease

Funny story: Patients Succumb To Rodent Disease

BOSTON--Three organ recipients in southern New England have succumbed in the past month to a virus spread by hamsters, which morphologically changes the human body until the victims become large rodents. Officials said yesterday that three transplant...

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Andy Rooney goes on tirade, plug pulled on segment-- network narrowly avoids millions in FCC fines

Funny story: Andy Rooney goes on tirade, plug pulled on segment-- network narrowly avoids millions in FCC fines

Andy Rooney, famous for his short commentaries that appear at the end of the long running "60 Minutes" program on CBS, has been fired after launching into what can only be described as a controversial and obcene tirade.

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Get Ready to Rumble: MLB Announces Celebrity Kick Boxing

Funny story: Get Ready to Rumble: MLB Announces Celebrity Kick Boxing

The Daily Swill, SEATTLE, Wa - Michael Jackson vs Vanilla Ice? Paris Hilton vs. Jessica Simpson? Sounds like a popularity poll, but in actuality it may be a popularity stunt coming to a Saturday night Major League Baseball game near you.

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"Deforestation Moving Along Better Than Expected" Government Chimes

Funny story: "Deforestation Moving Along Better Than Expected" Government Chimes

The Amazon rain forest, second to the Atlantic Ocean as the wettest place on the planet and right behind Australia as the deadliest, is being destroyed at paces far greater than anticipated.

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Saddam Drops Suit, To Star In "The Simple Life"

Funny story: Saddam Drops Suit, To Star In "The Simple Life"

Saddam Hussein has decided to drop his suit against the Rupert Murdoch-owned The Sun, his lawyer said today. As part of the settlement, the former Iraqi strongman will feature in the next season of the riches-to-rags reality series The Simp...

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Apple PowerBook Battery Explodes; Bill Gates Badly Burned!

Funny story: Apple PowerBook Battery Explodes; Bill Gates Badly Burned!

REDMOND WA (AP) A freak accident last night resulted in serious injuries to Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates. According to a fire department spokesman, "Mr. Gates was found slumped over an Apple Macintosh PowerBook. The laptop was in flames. It appear...

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Rolf Harris commissioned to body paint the Queen

Rolf Harris, an ex-Australian convict who learnt to body paint whilst doing time down under has been commissioned to body paint the Queen and other members of the Royal Family. The monarch, who has been painted by more than 120 artists in her life, i...

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First Lady Wins Hearts of Islamic Militants

Funny story: First Lady Wins Hearts of Islamic Militants

ABU GHOSH, Israel - United States First Lady Laura Bush said Monday she was not surprised to be met by protesters during her tour of Mideast holy sites and pledged the United States will do all it can to help resolve age-old conflicts.

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Side Effects of Bird Flu Vaccines Spark Concern

Funny story: Side Effects of Bird Flu Vaccines Spark Concern

BEIJING, May 26 (UPI) - Although China has developed vaccines that block the spread of the deadly H5N1 strain of bird flu among birds and mammals according to Xinhua news agency, scientists fear the side effects which have been encountered in testing...

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Obese Rabbit Sues McDonalds

Funny story: Obese Rabbit Sues McDonalds

A Rabbit that lived on McDonald's new salad menu is to sue the American Multinational for making him obese. Ryan McRabbit, a vegetarian from Dublin's posh southside was thrilled with the introduction of the new healthy option menu at his loca...

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President George Bush Admits to Hot Affair with Geena Davis

Funny story: President George Bush Admits to Hot Affair with Geena Davis

WASHINGTON --- In a stunning announcement from the White House, it was confirmed that President Bush has been having a long-term relationship with actress Geena Davis. The couple surprised Washington insiders last evening when they appeared together...

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Rolling Stones '05 tour to feature debate on Social Security, no music

Funny story: Rolling Stones '05 tour to feature debate on Social Security, no music

Legendary band The Rolling Stones excited their fans this week after announcing a world tour to kick off in the United States this summer, but that excitement was to be short lived.

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Scooby Don't! - Cartoon Canine Leaves Velma at Altar, to Wed Wilbanks

Funny story: Scooby Don't! - Cartoon Canine Leaves Velma at Altar, to Wed Wilbanks

Hollywood CA - Scooby-Doo, where are you? Velma Dinkley, Scooby-Doo's now ex-fiancee is asking that very question today as the most famous celebrity dog in TV history rocked Hollywood today by reneging on his engagement and scheduled wedding to D...

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"There's Three of us In This Marriage" says Camilla

Disgraced former writer for The Spoof, Dogooder Dave has now found himself at the centre of a gathering storm in Royal circles writes Roy L.R Slicker, Royal Correspondent .

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America Wakes Up - Rap Is Dead

Los Angeles, CA - Much to the chagrin of no talent posers and US advertising and recording industry executives, it appears that the music buying public has finally wised up and is no longer interested in purchasing any merchandise that has anything t...

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She's not heavy, she's my lover.

Funny story: She's not heavy, she's my lover.

Most people find love in the usual places. For example, in the modern age of the computer most people are satisfied with spending all of their waking hours trawling through seedy chat rooms in search of that someone special, after all people often sa...

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Crown Jewels to Fund Royal Cheese Business

Funny story: Crown Jewels to Fund Royal Cheese Business

A number of Britain's Crown Jewels are to go under the hammer as HM The Queen tries to raise the cash necessary to start up her own organic cheese business.

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Bill Gates Pledges $250m to World Health Organisation to combat viruses due to Windows XP

Record numbers of people say they are too stressed out to go to work, according to a report out today from the World Health Organisation. Its report comes after recent figures showed that almost 10% of working people were claiming some type of incapa...

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Russian extremist: God made me do it!

Funny story: Russian extremist: God made me do it!

Self-styled "God's Commando" Aleksei Anatolli has claimed the fires of hell await the owners of a small rural hardware store for selling him a dud hand grenade.

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The Who wants your help

Funny story: The Who wants your help

London. The two surviving members of the iconic British rock band The Who have hooked up once again with rockumentary producer Murray Lurie to make a film about the band's turbulent history. Tentatively called "Won't get hard again" (a...

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Paris and Nicole Explore Michael Jackson's Briefs

Funny story: Paris and Nicole Explore Michael Jackson's Briefs

Leave it to Fox. In a move virtually guaranteed to simultaneously expand its primetime network and cable news viewerships, the self-described "schlock" network has announced a very special May sweeps episode of "The Simple Life: Interns".

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No drugs thanks - we're cyclists

Funny story: No drugs thanks - we're cyclists

The French Professional Cyclists' Association is in turmoil this week over a series of allegations that some cyclists are not taking drugs.

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Planet outside solar system found, debated

Funny story: Planet outside solar system found, debated

NOMOKE, Oregon - Scientists say they have found a giant planet orbiting a distant star. One astronomer figures the planet is five times the mass of Jupiter, at least.

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Traffic Cop ‘Gatso-way' With It.

Funny story: Traffic Cop ‘Gatso-way' With It.

A traffic cop, who was caught at speeds of between 158 and 160 miles per hour by the newly installed Gatso cameras on the M4, has been cleared of reckless driving today by Judge Ayrton Schumacher at The Old Bailey and can resume his duties of making...

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Diana - Could Have Been Murder or Accident Shock!

Funny story: Diana - Could Have Been Murder or Accident Shock!

The Scotland Yard investigation into the death in 1997 of Princess Diana has uncovered startling new evidence which could suggest that her death could have been murder or alternatively, may have been an accident.

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Satan Appears at White House

Funny story: Satan Appears at White House

WASHINGTON, DC--In a development which has disturbed the evangelical Christian Right supporters of United States President George W. Bush, the Biblical Satan, complete with goatee, horns, a black cape, a pointed tail, and breathing fire and brimstone...

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Apple Releases Real Tiger; Publicity Stunt Backfires!

Funny story: Apple Releases Real Tiger; Publicity Stunt Backfires!

CUPERTINO CALIF (AP) Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs unlocked the cage holding a full-grown Bengal tiger and watched as the tiger figured out that the door was now open. The beautiful tiger then leapt out of the cage and pounced upon several dozen comp...

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Election Results Left in Back of London Cab.

Funny story: Election Results Left in Back of London Cab.

London, 4th May 2005. Former UK Independence Party Candidate Sir Gilroy-Kilt has ordered an enquiry following the discovery of the British General Election results on the back seat of a London cab.

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General Motors to Switch Cars to Pedal Power

DETROIT--In a radical move, General Motors has decided to switch to pedal power for all of its car models in the 2006 model year say top executives at the company, who also unveiled their first pedal-powered model.

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New study out on chaotic origins of solar system

Funny story: New study out on chaotic origins of solar system

BEND LUCY, Wisc. -- By using an expensive computer, scientists have developed a story of chaos in the creation of our solar system that, they agree, explains mysteries about our solar system.

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Pope's Hat - Funny No More

VATICAN CITY, ROME - The entire garment and fashion district of Vatican City is currently in an uproar due to the recent untimely passing of the official papal milliner, blind Brother Bonito Bonnetto. The unfortunate Brother Bonnetto prematurely...

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Wilkinson's grandmother included in Lions squad

Funny story: Wilkinson's grandmother included in Lions squad

Tuesday 10th May. London. Clive Woodward was at the centre of another selection storm this morning after naming Jonny Wilkinson's granny in his tour party for New Zealand. Outraged Welsh and Scottish supporters vowed to now support the All Black...

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Net Cures Damp

Funny story: Net Cures Damp

Could the Internet be an answer to the problems of damp? If Mrs Swanson a pole dancer from Newcastle is to be believed then perhaps it is. At the ripe old age of 85 yet with looks that don't put her a day over 83 Mrs Swanson is convinced that the...

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Scooby-Doo and Velma to Wed

One of Hollywood's most eligible bachelors will officially be pronounced "taken" this Saturday when it was announced at a press conference held today that the beloved Scooby-Doo and his co-star Velma Dinkley will be wed at Grauman's Chinese Theater...

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The unforgettable incident of the Mars-Bar in the Vending Machine

Wednesday, 25 May Fuming. I have no money in the world right now, but, searching through my bag, I was blessed with two fifty pence pieces. Not believing my luck, I rushed to the canteen and put one on my card, and bought a cup of soup, (35 pence, 15 left over). Having guzzled that straight down (The croutons were fabulous!) I decided upon treating myself with the remaining 50p. Sinful,...

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Blair & Bush Love Child

Funny story: Blair & Bush Love Child

In a seemingly last ditch effort to remain head of the British Labour Party and victorious in the up coming election, the Prime Minister's advisory team, located in the basement of Number 10, have decided they must endeavor to erase the Blair ima...

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Same-sex marriage--is it good, bad or what?

The problem with same-sex marriages is the sex of each person. Should we define marriage as a bond between two people who each have the same type of genitals or only as a union of different ones? And what about the genitalia-challenged people, where would they fit? For as long as there have been man and woman, the idea of having one mate has been endorsed. Mostly by women, of course, but t...

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Grenade near ‘Superman' Bush could have exploded

Funny story: Grenade near ‘Superman' Bush could have exploded

TBILISI, Georgia - An agent for the U.S. FBI said a grenade found near the podium where U.S. President George W. Bush gave a speech last week was live but apparently failed to explode due to a malfunction.

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Prince Harry's double begins army career - Harry sent to luxury holiday complex

Prince Harry has been smuggled to a luxury Mediterranean complex whilst his double will undertake the gruelling 5 week induction course at Sandhurst. The five-week initiation, described by Sandhurst itself as "five weeks of living hell" would have be...

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Little Girl Kills in Brooklyn, Understanding Violence

BROOKLYN, New York -- An angry tug-of-war over a rubber ball ended in tragedy yesterday when a 9-year-old Brooklyn girl fatally stabbed her 11-year-old friend.

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Donkey Can't Play Piano - Even Unable To Play Chopsticks.

Ireland - Dundalk farmer, Clive Mancini has failed to teach his donkey how to play the piano - not even chopsticks. The pitifully talentless donkey in question is Asses, a 7 year old mare.

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The Bachelor Party That Almost Happened

Funny story: The Bachelor Party That Almost Happened

Senior Editor Martin Chase returned this morning to the D.C. Bureau bullpen to regale us with tales of his Bachelor Party weekend in New Orleans. The outstanding pictures, which, a quick-witted journalist like myself noticed immediately, show absolutely no nightlife or scantily clad women. A wary feeling of disappointment began bubbling within me.

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Italy Pulls Out 3000 Pizza Delivery Men in Iraq - All Fast Food Outlets to Follow Amid Huge Losses

Italy's Pizza CEO, Silvio Berlusconi, announced plans yesterday on a live chat show to start withdrawing his country's 3,000-strong Pizza Delivery Express service in Iraq in September. The move comes on top of the withdrawal of more th...

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Jackson defense to call Mark Furhman and Abe Foxman to Testify

Funny story: Jackson defense to call Mark Furhman and Abe Foxman to Testify

LOS ANGELES - In a surprise move, Michael Jackson defense attorney Tom Messereau stunned prosecutors by announcing today that he would be calling former Los Angeles Detective Mark Furhman and ADL President Abe Foxman as witnesses. Prosecutors intend...

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U.N. Sends Weapons Inspectors to U.S.

New York, NY- In a sweeping vote by the security council of the United Nations, a clear majority voted to send U.N. weapons inspectors to search the worlds largest democracy.

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Jesus Joins Film cast of DaVinci Code

Funny story: Jesus Joins Film cast of DaVinci Code

The film version of the DaVinci code is set to begin production in June for a Spring 2006 release. The lead male role has been given to Tom Hanks. In a stunning victory for director Ron Howard he convinced Jesus to play himself in the film Version...

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Blackpool Donkeys Subject to EU Working Directive

Funny story: Blackpool Donkeys Subject to EU Working Directive

Legislators in Brussels, which is culturally nowhere near Blackpool, have stated that the New Working Directive also applies to donkeys, as well as to dancing bears and organ grinders' monkeys.

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A pianist keeps own counsel, and hopefully a staff of attorneys

Funny story: A pianist keeps own counsel, and hopefully a staff of attorneys

LONDON -- The painfully silent gentleman played a range of music from Tchaikovsky's "Swan Lake" to Lennon and McCartney. Beyond that, not too much is known about this quiet man who may be in his 20s or 30s, who may be English or not -...

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Granny-Grabbing Farrell Breaks Pensioner's Heart

Funny story: Granny-Grabbing Farrell Breaks Pensioner's Heart

Revelations that heart-throb Colin Farrell spent hours begging for sexual favours from 70-year-old actress Dame Eileen Atkins may have set many hearts a-fluttering amongst those in the autumn of their lives.

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Air Force to Bush: We Want a Death Star

Funny story: Air Force to Bush: We Want a Death Star

(WASHINGTON, D.C.) After attending a sneak preview of "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith", U.S. Air Force officials were more than inspired by the Lucasfilms' pioneering special effects. They were patriotically urged to revive old ties to...

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George W. Bush Resigns from Office After Old Fisherman Warns Him of Spooky Ghost

Funny story: George W. Bush Resigns from Office After Old Fisherman Warns Him of Spooky Ghost

In what is no doubt the defining event of the 21st Century thus far U.S. President George W. Bush and his entire cabinet have resigned from office due to intelligence indicating a ghostly being known only as the Oil Ugly is now haunting both the U.S.

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Great Britain: Partner In Axis Of Evil?

LYNCHBURG, VA - Prominent Southern Baptist minister, bon vivant and evangelical wunderkind, Jerry Falwell, recently appeared on Fox News recommending that Great Britain should be included on President Bush's "Axis of Evil" list. He...

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Dick Cheney-flown the coop?

Funny story: Dick Cheney-flown the coop?

BREAKING NEWS: Washington, May 3. Spoof's covert Cabinet level source has disclosed that Dick Cheney, who of course is the Vice President, has not been seen in his office or on the job at all since the State of the Union Address on February...

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Elmo Breaks Down

Funny story: Elmo Breaks Down

New York - Sesame Street resident Elmo has checked into a mental health facility after reportedly breaking down in Oscar The Grouch's bin.

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Star Wars Favourite to Commence Stand Up Tour

Funny story: Star Wars Favourite to Commence Stand Up Tour

Los Angeles, CA. - Breaking the stranglehold that Star Wars creator George Lucas has held on him for decades, a contract free C-3P0 announced at a press conference today that he would be embarking on a seventeen city stand up comedy tour of the East...

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Terrorists Strike National Park

Funny story: Terrorists Strike National Park

MOUNT ST. HELENS NATIONAL MONUMENT, Wash. (AP)--A string of suicide bombers rocked Mount St. Helens National Park on Monday in what federal homeland security officials are describing as "the most brazen attack on US soil since September 11."...

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Steinbrenner and Torre Fisticuffs over Kentucky Derby Horses

Funny story: Steinbrenner and Torre Fisticuffs over Kentucky Derby Horses

New York City - New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has had his share of run-ins with managers in the past. During his first 23 seasons of owning the Yankees, he changed Managers 20 times. His relationship with Manager Billy Martin became a...

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Apple's Jobs says company will talk to Podpeople

Funny story: Apple's Jobs says company will talk to Podpeople

SAN FRANCISCO - Apple Computer Inc. will support and organize podcasts in the next version of its iTunes and iPod software, in order to communicate with the Podpeople of planet Xanyre 7 said chief executive Steve Jobs in an interview yesterday.

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Scientists Link Vandalism to Excessive Oedipal Masturbation

Research Proves What Victims...

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Glick to get ABC news anchor job

Funny story: Glick to get ABC news anchor job

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The ABC Network has announced that when Peter Jennings can no longer do the network news program, it will take a radical turn of strategy and hire Martin Short as Jiminy Glick to do the daily program.

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Who movie needs those who remember

Funny story: Who movie needs those who remember

LOS ANGELES - Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey, the remaining members of The Who, are the subjects of a documentary about the band's history.

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Laura Bush Goes Old School In Egypt

Funny story: Laura Bush Goes Old School In Egypt

(Giza, Egypt---AP) First Lady Laura Bush struck a pose in front of the pyramids yesterday and turned back the hands of time on her rhetoric, praising dictatorships, slavery and other "old school" principles. Praising Hoshi Mubarak's 24 year dictators...

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Repentant Bush Promises Truth and Change, Admits "We Did It For the Oil"

WASHINGTON, DC-A repentant and contrite-looking United States President George W. Bush has admitted that his Administration misled the world about the reasons for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and promised to tell the truth from now on at a well-...

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Voyager spacecraft could be on verge of mission's end

Funny story: Voyager spacecraft could be on verge of mission's end

HOUSTON, Texas - The Voyager 1 spacecraft is on the verge of entering interstellar space, or as space officials call it, "Way, way, way out there land."...

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Woman Trapped in Bathroom Endures 14 Hours of Piped-In Music

Ladue, MO--A woman who was stuck in a Schnuck's supermarket bathroom for 14 hours without her cell phone and forced to listen to an endless loop of "elevator" and New Age music, while she repeatedly yelled for help to no avail, has file...

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Last Secret of Fatima vindicated: Blair charged with Treason

Funny story: Last Secret of Fatima vindicated: Blair charged with Treason

London, Tuesday 17 May 2005 (Rioters) UK Prime Minister Tony Blair was arrested in a dawn raid on No 10 Downing Street this morning and charged with treason - on the day that was scheduled to be the official State Opening of Parliament and a Labour...

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Fair Deal for Gambling Grannies

Funny story: Fair Deal for Gambling Grannies

Old aged pensioners in residential homes have raised the ongoing issues regarding crooked gambling activities. What had started off as innocent games of Snap, Old Maid and Happy Families has now become a source of illegal income within the private ca...

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Rare snails found

Funny story: Rare snails found

ROBUST, Ind. - A trio of snails thought by most scientists and laymen to be extinct has been rediscovered in the Coosa and Cahaba rivers, according to reports from the Coosa and Cahaba rivers.

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Democrats Scramble Bombers, Prepare "Nuclear Option"

Washington (AP)--In a sign of escalating tensions over the right to block judicial nominees, Democrats announced Tuesday that they had scrambled a bomber squadron capable of executing a "nuclear option."...

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New Jersey Builders to Evict 1 Million Residents; 500,000 More to Be Resettled in Connecticut

Funny story: New Jersey Builders to Evict 1 Million Residents; 500,000 More to Be Resettled in Connecticut

Trenton, NJ--Not content with developing, ravaging, and pillaging the formerly rural state of New Jersey, several major builders in the state have begun evicting 1 million residents from several areas, such as Camden, Trenton, New Brunswick, Newark,...

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Wilbanks to host new show, "The Amazing Chicken Race"

Funny story: Wilbanks to host new show, "The Amazing Chicken Race"

Duluth Georgia- After arriving back in her home town, Jennifer Wilbanks was instantly whisked away by officials who wanted to get their money's worth in publicity. Not before Jennifer could sign a TV contract for her own show. Fox was hot on her...

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Ask Your Doctor About Umbilicex.

Funny story: Ask Your Doctor About Umbilicex.

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, and Paris Hilton are just a few of the big stars who have been taking Umbilicex for years. If you are one of the millions of people who are embarrassed by the appearance of your belly button, prescription strength Umbilice...

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Muslims Flushing Newsweek Down Toilets Over Quran Abuse

Funny story: Muslims Flushing Newsweek Down Toilets Over Quran Abuse

In reaction to the story that Newsweek magazine ran about the Holy Quran being flushed down a toilet, Muslims in many countries are getting even by jamming copies of Newsweek into their toilet facilities. In Pakistan, a modest man who asked not to be...

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Andy Lam – He likes the ladies

Funny story: Andy Lam – He likes the ladies

Hello, hello, hello, hello! Andy Lam here, with SEASON’S GREETINGS!!!! “What season?,” you may be wondering -- SPRING TIME, when a young man’s FANCY turns to LOVE. Ah, yes, that oh so wonderful FOUR LETTER WORD. While my YOUTH may be suspect, my VIRILITY cannot be called into question, no, not by a LONG SHOT. Nor, frankly, can my readiness to worship at the alter of APHRODITE!! And so...

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Ancient shoe found

Funny story: Ancient shoe found

LONDON - Archaeologists say they found a 2,000-year-old shoe lodged in a hollow tree near Wellington in southwest England.

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CANADA = TERROR

I am big hearted and a sucker for a sob-story. Any time anyone is in any trouble, I am always the first to put my shoulder to the grindstone, grease my elbow or write a BIG FAT CHECK. Two years ago, one of my neighbor’s dogs ran away. I tried and tried to find it – going so far as to put my LAMcopter into action – but the dog was never found. Did I let this tragedy pass unnoticed? Of course n...

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Wall Street Analyst Applauds Potential Apple Move to Intel Processors as 'Good First Step'

Funny story: Wall Street Analyst Applauds Potential Apple Move to Intel Processors as 'Good First Step'

As rumors intensify of an Apple/Intel partnership, analysts have been generally dismissive or cautious in appraising its potential effect on the fortunes of Apple Computer. Not so for one forward-thinking analyst. David Becker Specks of Wall Street...

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