Britney Spears Arrested in New York

Funny story written by Morgan Truce

Sunday, 7 August 2005

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NEW YORK (Reuters) Pop singer Britney Spears is waiting to be bailed out of jail after being arrested Tuesday on charges of insurance fraud. Several international insurance companies are cooperating in the investigation against the 23 year-old singer. It appears that not only did Britney Spears lie about pre-existing injuries to her knee when she applied for insurance coverage, she also neglected to reveal that she had undergone a complete skin transplant to treat a raging acne condition, broke two wrists and a foot in a bar-room brawl, and had three botched breast implant procedures. Worst of all, she failed to divulge that she was incapable of singing or dancing without the aid of cables and wires strung from above the stage.

According to the court papers, insurers are alleged to have refused to pay her claim because it was stated on insurance applications that Ms Spears had no pre-existing injuries. The documents state that Ms Spears had in fact undergone "minor orthopedic surgery" on her left knee four years and 11 months before filling in the form.

Ms Spears' lawyers refer to the "failure to recall the injury" as an "innocent omission" that was "not material" to the insurers' decision to provide coverage.

Britney Spears was forced to cancel a whole season of touring after breaking both knees on a trip to the restroom. A team of investigators has as yet been unable to uncover the details of the mishap. "We are going to get to the bottom of this," said New York Detective Andy Sipowicz. "We got her in the pokey until her lawyers get here to make bail. She's one tough broad that Britney Spears. I gave her the yellow legal pad, but she's refusing to write a single word. I sent Bobby in there to work a number on her with the ‘good cop' routine.

Out on the street, hundreds of Britney Spears fans had to be controlled by a squad of riot police.

In London, a well-placed man in the insurance industry known simply as "Lloyd" said, "Britney Spears will never get any money from us."


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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