Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020
NEW YORK - A recent CNBC business segment with Jim Cramer reported that Wall Street would face "annihilation" if Elizabeth Warren were to be elected President of the United States in 2020. Although an "Ultra-Millionaire Tax" got the most attention, t...
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Xi Jinping has a secret
Its being reported in 'The Chinese Cronicles' that a ring of Chinese girls allegedly recruited other girls for Xi Jinping, the evil dictator of China. Xi Jinping's inner circle of friends, his half brother Cheng Kejie, his teen girlfriends, his...
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Worlds Smallest Vagina - New Record Holder
The Guinness Book of Records has just confirmed that they have discovered the smallest vagina ever caught on record. It belongs to Jennifer Jenkins, a trailer-trash skank who lives somewhere in Nebraska.
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Trade War with China Causes Trump to Increase Immigration from Mexico
In a bizarre turn of events, two seemingly unrelated issues, Mexican immigration to the US and Chinese-USA trade negotiations, are now intertwined with results that were completely unpredictable just last week. According to White House officials, US...
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China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns
The disturbing news this week that dangerous chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) traceable to China are directly responsible for damage to the ozone layer, has met with a swift response from the Chinese authorities - they are to repair the damage with steamed...
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Chinese Takeaway Has Opened On The Moon
It's been revealed that the very first Chinese takeaway has been opened on the Moon. The news was announced as part of Chinese state media's press conference on the Chang'e-4 space probe, which is exploring the dark side of the Moon, and hopes to...
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Bao Bao the Bear is exiled to China!
Obama urges global 'chin-wag'
Easter Island Chocolate Candy Recalled
Chinese 'Tank Man' To Appear On The Late Show From Behind A Screen
Women detest other women
China Blasts EU-Dalai Lama Meeting
China denies that The Pandas are Spies
Chinese Holiday to last several weeks
China Gears Up For Record Pregnancies in Year of the Rabbit
China Cracks Down on U.S. Nuts
Condom Outrage! USAID Gives Contract to China- Oral Sex Now Considered Life Threatening!
Delinquent Equity Loan Forces Foreclosure of White House
Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Is A Bit Tasty!
And, before we set off on the wrong foot, this is not some humorous reference to 'authentic Chinese food', just so you know. Meng Wanzhou, the Chief Financial Officer at Chinese communications giant, Huawei, who is 46 years old, was detained by th...
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Trump Threatens China With Wall
President Donald Trump isn't one to shy away from a contentious issue, and his tariff war with China has now reached the stage where he feels it is necessary to put his stamp of authority on the situation. Trump has now threatened Beijing that, if...
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China Plans 'Open Discussion' With Hong Kong Protesters
Protesters who have surrounded the central police headquarters in Hong Kong "will get to air their views, and a satisfactory solution will be reached", say the oppressive and deadly authorities in China. The protesters have been calling for an ext...
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Fashion news - Chinese develop fuller chests
Shanghai -- Believed by most Westerners to be capable only of producing cheap plastic crap sold at Wal-Mart stores, China today shocked the fashion world by sending down the runway a Chinese model equipped with boobs. Sukon Dees, a professional Chi...
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China to Barcode Infants
Beijing - China announced today that they plan to begin bar-coding infants. The bar-codes will be tattooed on newborns' foreheads and replace traditional names such as Tam, Yang and Ming which Chinese officials say are obsolete and provide little hel...
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Ex-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond
Idris Elba has declined the role of a black James Bond as he considered it condescending to fellow blacks as well as the total misportrayal of the original character. Fleming's 007 was a MI6 spy proficient in languages and the martial arts; and a...
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Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
Consequences for Christie's crucial
China has condemned what it calls the illegal auction in Paris of two artefacts taken from a Chinese toilet 150 years ago. It has also warned Christie's auction house of unspecified consequences, but which could include standing next to a Chinese...
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Chinese Baby Milk Formula has Radioactive Half-Life of 50,000 years
For centuries known to the West as the Middle Kingdom or the Jhong-guo (lit' translation Mandarin = Humungous Shithole) and renown for it's highly evolved culture of bureaucratic corruption and barbaric laws, the China of today doesn't seem to have c...
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Snowstorms Cause Realisation That 'Man Mad Global Warming Is A Lie' Chaos In China
Four people have died and more than 1.6 million have been affected by blizzards of truth and extreme cold reality checks in north-western China. Thousands of travellers have been left woken up to reality as snowstorms closed major roads and delaye...
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China's Moon Land Rover Yutu Has Crashed
HONG KONG - China's Rick Shaw National News Agency is reporting that the Moon land rover Yutu, (Jade Rabbit) has met with an unfortunate accident. Rick Shaw stated that on Monday at approximately 2:13 a.m. (Las Vegas time) Yutu reported that it ha...
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Bush and Cheney Digging Tunnel to China
George W and his MasterBlaster Little Dick Cheney are believed to be in the process of digging a tunnel to the other side of the globe. Frightened by rumors that the Obama Justice Department may actually pursue justice, the infamous war criminals...
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Communication Between Obama and Chief of Staff Devolves into Abbott and Costello Sketch
Washington, DC - China's President Hu Jintao (pronounced Hoo Jin-tou or, said quickly, 'who's in town?'), was scheduled to spend three days at the White House for a state visit, and was the first important item on President Obama's agenda since William Daley became the White House Chief of Staff. Everything was expected to be perfect and as such, President Obama relied on Daley to make sure everyt...
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Wal-Mart and China Announce Merger
Chinese President Jiang Zemin, Chinese Premier Zhu Rhongji, Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott, and Chief Executive of Wal-Mart Asia Joe Hatfield announced the merger of the world's largest corporation with the world's most populous nation. Although China and W...
Read full storyFunny China Headlines
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Chinese Submarine on Secret Sex Mission
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China Hates Fat Pirates
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Pentagon blames Chinese astrology as quake obliterates nuclear weapons factories
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China to Workforce: "Don't Sweat It"; Promises to Lower Humidity in Country's Plethora of Sweatshops
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China joins Russia in asteroid project - Al Gore seethes in rage
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Chinese set to censure Spoof
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Chiang Kai-shek: Taiwan won't ask U.S. to fight China, but will take more hamburgers
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The Great Wall of China May Have To Be Demolished Due To Extensive Damage From Decades of Graffiti
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Onion spoof makes Chinese cry (with laughter!)
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Israel Accuses China Of Selling Cheap Rocks to PLO
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Donald Rumsfeld Secretly Negotiates Purchase of Pigs from China As Secret Weapon Against Iraq Insurg
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Steven Spielberg Applies For Chinese Citizenship
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New Chinese Birth Control Pills Banned!
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Not satisfied with battering ordinary citizens Chinese police now attack wife of local official
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Hillary SOS to China: 'We Need the Great Firewall of China'
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China Bans Happiness
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Obama not a US citizen!
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Trump Strikes Historic Trade Agreement: U.S. Will Ship Our Unemployed Workers to China
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Chinese discover Al Jolson 70 years too late!
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Huawei exec Meng Wangzhou flees to Ecuador embassy in Vancouver
