China Spoof News

24 September 2023

Worlds Smallest Vagina - New Record Holder

The Guinness Book of Records has just confirmed that they have discovered the smallest vagina ever caught on record. It belongs to Jennifer Jenkins, a trailer-trash skank who lives somewhere in Nebraska.

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An earthquake hits China devastating most of the fortune cookie industry

A powerful 8.8 earthquake has hit the Chinese capitol of Hong Kong causing widespread havoc. Boom Boom News (China) reports that the "Shaker" as earthquakes are referred to in China, has devastated the fortune cookie industry. Reports are that…

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The Five Guys Burger franchise opens its first outlet in China

Word out of the Five Guys Burgers corporate headquarters is that the franchise has just opened up their very first restaurant in the Republic of China. The decision came after an unexpected personal request from none other than Chinese President X…

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The NCAA's March Madness was the most watched TV series show in China

Well it is no secret that the Chinese people love watching basketball. Next to the National Rik Shaw Races, which are held in November, this year's March Madness was the most watched TV series show in the entire republic of China. In fact China…

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Chinese President Xi Jinping's Daughter Is Sexy, Sultry, and So Sensuous

HONG KONG, China - (Satire News) - Xi Jinping, the President of China, has just stated that he wants the entire civilized world (and even the uncivilized world) to know that his gorgeous daughter, Jia Pia Jinping, 27, is nine times prettier, sexier,…

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Reports Are That Ted "Dracula" Cruz Had Intimate Relations With a Gorgeously Sexy Chinese Spy

SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The San Francisco Nightly Herald has just revealed some juicy news about Sen. Ted "Dracula" Cruz's latest lover - and boy, is it spicy! According to the Herald's investigative reporter, Bijou Silhouette, Cruz's new…

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Tiananmen Square Tank Man's Identity Now Established

July 1st solar eclipse will bring down Hong Kong astrologers warn Wen Jiabao

Google Earth shows Chinese 'Area 51' hiding vast alien hangar: reports

Chinese Submarine on Secret Sex Mission

President Biden Is Suing China For All of The Spy Balloons They Have Launched Towards The US

More Chinese People Means More Super Soldier Babies Rolling In With The Waves

Hand Sanitizer Found To Be Contaminated With COVID-19 Spores

King Kong China

Bloody Dictatorship China Say U.S. Criticism is Damaging Its Reputation

McSushi

Benches That Have Spikes A Pain In The Ass!

Tit 4 Tat … Ping Pong Rules the Sky

Nostradamus gazes into cartoons and spoof

Some have said The Simpsons can sometimes predict the future. Have I? I wrote a story about China wanting to own every island nation in the Caribbean. And now the Chinese have done a deal with Cuba to put, what, missile or just a ton of sur…

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Tik-Tok is Chinese Mind Control Device - FBI Director Testifies

TikTok was invented by Chinese scientist Zhang Yiming and is owned by a huge corporation - Bytedance - with headquarters in Beijing, China. FBI director Christopher Wray gave testimony in Congress that the Chinese government or Military Could us…

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Amazon and Walmart are Dead - Buy Direct from China 1/3rd the Price - Temu-Temu!

Amazon and Walmart are on the way Out according to a CCN article. It is old fashioned to buy from these two companies - who have to ship their Goods all the way from China. You can now bypass them and order from the same companies they order…

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The Highest Ranking General in The Chinese Army Has Admitted That She’s a Lesbian

HONG KONG – (World Satire) – Word coming out of the Chinese capital is reverberating all over the world. The Chinese government has just learned that China’s top ranking military leader, General Sue Ming Ding, 53, has just come out of the closet a…

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The Chinese Trojan Horse is Whispering Its Indigestion

There are Chinese police stations in the USA, Canada and Britain. Do these countries have their police in China? These police are on the hunt to threaten any Chinese people in those “foreign devil” nations that if they don’t play ball (or maybe,…

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The Chinese Spy Balloon Was Actually Delivering a Pizza To a Family In South Carolina

WATERMELON SEED, South Carolina - The White House has informed the US news media that unnamed sources from China have stated that the so called Chinese spy balloon, that was shot down by an American F-14 fighter jet, was merely delivering a large pep…

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Chinese panda-bear moves to Scotland because she loves bagpipe music!

China has released the news that one of their precious panda-bears, Tian Tian, is to be moved to a Zoo in Scotland. The reason for this astonishing move is that Tian Tian only gets "turned on" when she hears bagpipes playing. It seems that Scottis...

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China hoaxes Edinburgh Zoo with two men in black and white furry panda suits

Scotland - (Pandering To Them): Panda Diplomacy took a new twist today with the donation to Edinburgh Zoo of 'two breeding Chinese males' dressed in fluffy panda suits. The outfits are identical to those worn by keepers in Shendong Panda Reserve's...

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Due to the gunpowder shortage, China is having to buy fireworks from Cambodia

Boom Boom News (China) reports that the Republic of China has found itself in quite a pickle, as they say in the United Kingdom. The Chinese Boom Boom News has said that due to the gunpowder shortage, China will be having a hard time keeping up wi…

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Google AI Goes "Jerk-Wad" After Self-Awareness

SAN FRANCISCO - Several experts in the computer technology field learned of Google having an AI which achieved Self-Awareness, soon after the event occurred. For the most part, developers who were involved in the research kept all of their informatio…

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Lightning Strikes a Chinese Chopstick Factory and Burns Over 2 Million Chopsticks

HONK KONG, China - (Spoof News) - The Fortune Cookie News Agency has the chopstick scoop of the century! A massive lightning bolt has blasted The Happy Face Chopstick Factory and destroyed a staggering 2 million chopsticks. The factory's security…

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China vows to purchase every Caribbean queen

China wants to own every country in the Caribbean Sea. It doesn't like America parking its destroyers and nuclear subs at South Korea, Japan, or Taiwan... so it's doing a tit for tat. When America comes a-knocking on China's doorstep, China goes a…

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Panda slaughter in China continues unabated

What could they possibly need with so many pandas? Some claim that since the eradication of Falun Gong worshippers the Chinese black market for organs has been in a state of panic. It would seem that panda penises are in great demand, along with livers, kidneys and hearts. In the senseless killing that has gone on unabated the curious funny bear is close to extinction. In a more recent develo...

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Vatican Scientists Clone Jesus from Communion Wafer

The Vatican—Pope Francis today unveiled a ten-year-old Jesus whom, he explained, was cloned from a consecrated communion wafer blessed by Mother Theresa. The Vatican, to avoid too much publicity for the ten-year-old god, had kept the cloning under w...

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