Funny story: Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020

Democrat Congress to Make "Capitalism" Illegal by 2020

NEW YORK - A recent CNBC business segment with Jim Cramer reported that Wall Street would face "annihilation" if Elizabeth Warren were to be elected President of the United States in 2020. Although an "Ultra-Millionaire Tax" got the most attention, t...

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Funny story: Xi Jinping has a secret

Xi Jinping has a secret

Its being reported in 'The Chinese Cronicles' that a ring of Chinese girls allegedly recruited other girls for Xi Jinping, the evil dictator of China. Xi Jinping's inner circle of friends, his half brother Cheng Kejie, his teen girlfriends, his...

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Funny story: Worlds Smallest Vagina - New Record Holder

Worlds Smallest Vagina - New Record Holder

The Guinness Book of Records has just confirmed that they have discovered the smallest vagina ever caught on record. It belongs to Jennifer Jenkins, a trailer-trash skank who lives somewhere in Nebraska.

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Funny story: Trade War with China Causes Trump to Increase Immigration from Mexico

Trade War with China Causes Trump to Increase Immigration from Mexico

In a bizarre turn of events, two seemingly unrelated issues, Mexican immigration to the US and Chinese-USA trade negotiations, are now intertwined with results that were completely unpredictable just last week. According to White House officials, US...

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Funny story: China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns

China To Repair Ozone Layer With Steamed Minced Pork Buns

The disturbing news this week that dangerous chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs) traceable to China are directly responsible for damage to the ozone layer, has met with a swift response from the Chinese authorities - they are to repair the damage with steamed...

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Funny story: Chinese Takeaway Has Opened On The Moon

Chinese Takeaway Has Opened On The Moon

It's been revealed that the very first Chinese takeaway has been opened on the Moon. The news was announced as part of Chinese state media's press conference on the Chang'e-4 space probe, which is exploring the dark side of the Moon, and hopes to...

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Funny story: Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Is A Bit Tasty!

Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Is A Bit Tasty!

And, before we set off on the wrong foot, this is not some humorous reference to 'authentic Chinese food', just so you know. Meng Wanzhou, the Chief Financial Officer at Chinese communications giant, Huawei, who is 46 years old, was detained by th...

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Funny story: Trump Threatens China With Wall

Trump Threatens China With Wall

President Donald Trump isn't one to shy away from a contentious issue, and his tariff war with China has now reached the stage where he feels it is necessary to put his stamp of authority on the situation. Trump has now threatened Beijing that, if...

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Funny story: China Plans 'Open Discussion' With Hong Kong Protesters

China Plans 'Open Discussion' With Hong Kong Protesters

Protesters who have surrounded the central police headquarters in Hong Kong "will get to air their views, and a satisfactory solution will be reached", say the oppressive and deadly authorities in China. The protesters have been calling for an ext...

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Funny story: Fashion news - Chinese develop fuller chests

Fashion news - Chinese develop fuller chests

Shanghai -- Believed by most Westerners to be capable only of producing cheap plastic crap sold at Wal-Mart stores, China today shocked the fashion world by sending down the runway a Chinese model equipped with boobs. Sukon Dees, a professional Chi...

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Funny story: China to Barcode Infants

China to Barcode Infants

Beijing - China announced today that they plan to begin bar-coding infants. The bar-codes will be tattooed on newborns' foreheads and replace traditional names such as Tam, Yang and Ming which Chinese officials say are obsolete and provide little hel...

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Funny story: Ex-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond

Ex-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond

Idris Elba has declined the role of a black James Bond as he considered it condescending to fellow blacks as well as the total misportrayal of the original character. Fleming's 007 was a MI6 spy proficient in languages and the martial arts; and a...

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Funny story: Consequences for Christie's crucial

Consequences for Christie's crucial

China has condemned what it calls the illegal auction in Paris of two artefacts taken from a Chinese toilet 150 years ago. It has also warned Christie's auction house of unspecified consequences, but which could include standing next to a Chinese...

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Funny story: Chinese Baby Milk Formula has Radioactive Half-Life of 50,000 years

Chinese Baby Milk Formula has Radioactive Half-Life of 50,000 years

For centuries known to the West as the Middle Kingdom or the Jhong-guo (lit' translation Mandarin = Humungous Shithole) and renown for it's highly evolved culture of bureaucratic corruption and barbaric laws, the China of today doesn't seem to have c...

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Funny story: Snowstorms Cause Realisation That 'Man Mad Global Warming Is A Lie' Chaos In China

Snowstorms Cause Realisation That 'Man Mad Global Warming Is A Lie' Chaos In China

Four people have died and more than 1.6 million have been affected by blizzards of truth and extreme cold reality checks in north-western China. Thousands of travellers have been left woken up to reality as snowstorms closed major roads and delaye...

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Funny story: China's Moon Land Rover Yutu Has Crashed

China's Moon Land Rover Yutu Has Crashed

HONG KONG - China's Rick Shaw National News Agency is reporting that the Moon land rover Yutu, (Jade Rabbit) has met with an unfortunate accident. Rick Shaw stated that on Monday at approximately 2:13 a.m. (Las Vegas time) Yutu reported that it ha...

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Funny story: China Bans Harry Potter Books

China Bans Harry Potter Books

(Crappers China) The Chinese government has declared that Harry Potter is too scary to children and decided to ban the books. Unfortunately the Chinese children will never find out how the series end. Even Harry Potter sites are banned and if you sea...

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Funny story: Bush and Cheney Digging Tunnel to China

Bush and Cheney Digging Tunnel to China

George W and his MasterBlaster Little Dick Cheney are believed to be in the process of digging a tunnel to the other side of the globe. Frightened by rumors that the Obama Justice Department may actually pursue justice, the infamous war criminals...

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Funny story: Communication Between Obama and Chief of Staff Devolves into Abbott and Costello Sketch

Communication Between Obama and Chief of Staff Devolves into Abbott and Costello Sketch

Washington, DC - China's President Hu Jintao (pronounced Hoo Jin-tou or, said quickly, 'who's in town?'), was scheduled to spend three days at the White House for a state visit, and was the first important item on President Obama's agenda since William Daley became the White House Chief of Staff. Everything was expected to be perfect and as such, President Obama relied on Daley to make sure everyt...

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Funny story: Wal-Mart and China Announce Merger

Wal-Mart and China Announce Merger

Chinese President Jiang Zemin, Chinese Premier Zhu Rhongji, Wal-Mart CEO Lee Scott, and Chief Executive of Wal-Mart Asia Joe Hatfield announced the merger of the world's largest corporation with the world's most populous nation. Although China and W...

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