China Spoof News

23 April 2021

Worlds Smallest Vagina - New Record Holder

The Guinness Book of Records has just confirmed that they have discovered the smallest vagina ever caught on record. It belongs to Jennifer Jenkins, a trailer-trash skank who lives somewhere in Nebraska.

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Bomb Bomb China: Trump To Use Neutron Bomb To Get Rid Of Coronavirus

BILLINGSGATE POST: In a call to Chinese President, Xi Jinping, President Trump said they discussed carpet bombing China with neutron bombs to knock out the Coronavirus, which originated in China, killing untold thousands while pummeling world financ...

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New Corona Symptom: Severe Hunger For Bats?

Atlanta, GA - On Tuesday, scientists at the CDC announced an array of new symptoms that may occur during a COVID-19 infection. The researchers warned that a runny nose, sore throat and congestion are being added to the list of misery that comes wi…

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Coronavirus 'Antidote' Found

Scientists in China working on finding a cure for the new and deadly Coronavirus have said they have already made a major discovery in their fight. They say that, as well as taking the regular precautions against a worldwide pandemic, people shoul...

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The Gov. Cuomo Action Figure Doll is Flying Off the Shelves

NEW YORK CITY – The toy manufacturing company Toypaloosa is reporting that sales of the new Governor Andrew Cuomo Action Figure Doll are going through the roof. Governor Cuomo has become very popular of late because he conducts his daily C-19 pres...

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Trumps ‘super-duper missile’ is betterer than their ‘really-good’ missile

Unconfirmed reports that the Pentagon is developing a missile that travels 17 times faster than the missile that travels 17 times slower, have not been confirmed. “The President learnt ‘They’ had a missile that was ‘damn fast’, so we started plann…

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The Leader of China Vows to Start Referring to C-19 as Trump’s Donvid-45

Chinese Coronavirus Hospital Was Made From Sticky Rice

Chinese In Bid To Buy Royal Family

Coronavirus: Patient Zero Undergoing Mutation

President Trump Says Pandas Are Responsible For Covid-19

Trump Denies French Claims That Coronavirus Was Present In France In November

President Trump Presented With Panda From Xi Jinping

Sudoku Puzzle Finally Completed

President Trump Says That He Now Knows Who Brought The Coronavirus To The United States

Tiananmen Square Tank Man's Identity Now Established

MI5 pigeon-spies banned from flying during Chinese Communist party conference!

John Bolton’s Explosive Expose on President Donald Trump

COVID-19 Could Mean Lock-Down for Six More Years

WASHINGTON DC - The World Health Organization (WHO) has issued an Urgent Situation Update for the Coronavirus Pandemic. The top WHO official, Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, warned nations that "the worst is yet to come." Much of the concern came…

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McDonalds To Close All 2,700 Restaurants in China

CHICAGO – The McDonalds Corporation has just announced a decision that will not only resonate throughout China, but throughout San Francisco as well. After several power meetings, McDonalds has decided to close all of its restaurants in China.

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Trump to withhold millions of dollars in funding to White House Occupant (WHO).

President Donald Trump announced recently that he is halting funding to the White House Occupant (WHO) while his administration reviews the handling of the coronavirus, accusing the WHO of bungling the response and failing to communicate the disease’...

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Pig Virus More Deadly Than Covid-19

A new virus with pandemic potential has been discovered by scientists in the home of deadly viruses, China. This virus, they say, originated in pigs. Oink oink. The new discovery comes hot on the trotters of the current Covid-19 pandemic, an...

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Black rats not responsible for Mongolian bubonic plague!

The world knows who to blame for the Coronavirus, but the world is now looking at yet another virus that could lock us all down again; bubonic plague, better known as 'Black Death', is back again. Luckily, this outbreak occurred a million miles a…

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Bat Soup Taken Off Menu At Chinese Restaurants

Government authorities in China have acted quickly in the wake of the deadly Coronavirus outbreak, and have placed an "absolute and total ban" on the serving of bat soup in restaurants, it has been reported. The virus, which is thought to have bee...

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Google AI Goes "Jerk-Wad" After Self-Awareness

SAN FRANCISCO - Several experts in the computer technology field learned of Google having an AI which achieved Self-Awareness, soon after the event occurred. For the most part, developers who were involved in the research kept all of their informatio…

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COVID-19 Hates Women Leaders, Loves Trump

Scientists all over the world have discovered messages under their microscopes. They are bizarre configurations from the coronavirus. The communications are all the same: We hate women leaders and adore male authoritarians and strongmen. The COV...

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Uncle Ben’s Converted Rice Is Getting a Brand New Name

HOUSTON – In keeping with racially-correct product themes and names, the company that produces Uncle Ben’s Converted Rice has decided to rename their extremely popular product. In fact, recent studies have shown that Uncle Ben's Rice is the most p...

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Wuhan Property Prices Take A Dive

It's been a difficult four months for the Chinese city of Wuhan, the center of the Coronavirus outbreak, and every area of business has suffered, including the property market, where prices of houses, condominiums, apartments, and hovels have all tak...

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Coronavirus Could Mutate Into Black Death

Scientists in China working on discovering an antidote for the Coronavirus have said that it is conceivable that it could yet mutate into the Bubonic Plague, or Black Death, which ravaged the world's population in the 14th century. The Black Deat...

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President Trump Says Coronavirus Should Have Been 'Nipped In The Bud' By Nuking China

President Donald Trump has spoken out about the spread of the deadly Coronavirus, and says that he, personally, could have ended the worldwide threat of a pandemic, if only he'd have been allowed to initiate an all-out nuclear strike on China, instea...

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A Poem About The Plague

With the world at the mercy of the threat the deadly Coronavirus has thrust upon us, it might settle a few nerves if we all had a nice cup of tea and a sit down, and partook of some gentle poetry. As readers will, perhaps, know, poetry can be very...

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Chinese 'Tank Man' To Appear On The Late Show From Behind A Screen

The mysterious 'Tank Man' of Tiananman Square, the man who singlehandedly stood up to the murderous Chinese authorities during the 1989 Beijing uprising and massacre, is to appear on Wednesday night's edition of 'The Late Show' with Stephen Colbert -...

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