New Watch Performs Well On First Day

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 8 October 2020

image for New Watch Performs Well On First Day
The cheapfucker watch on the cheapfucker's wrist

A man who was obliged to buy a new watch so that he could keep abreast of what time it was at any hour of the day or night, says that the timepiece had "performed well" on its first day, and that he had no complaints.

Moys Kenwood, 57, purchased the new watch - a Leishing Quartz model 31-999 - when the battery in his old watch gave out and he wasn't able to buy the correct model to replace it.

He said:

"It did well. I wasn't convinced at first, what with it being Chinese-manufactured and everything, but it came through with flying colors!"

He added that the stylish device kept perfect time, with the hour, minute and second hands all tracking around the white face with perfect precision.

"It has no date, of course, which is unfortunate, but the most important thing is that it has nice, big hands that I can see easily, so that I don't get suckered into staying in the classrooms any longer than has been contractually agreed upon."

Kenwood also marveled at the price:"Cheap as chips! Almost not worth paying anything. You don't have to break the bank for a good watch, you know! I just want to thank all those hardworking souls in China who crouch in their sweatshops hour after hour, day after day, week after week, and month after month, putting all the bits in these great little watches."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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