1970s radical back in custody; Patty Hearst furious

Funny story written by Tragic Rabbit

Sunday, 23 March 2008

image for 1970s radical back in custody; Patty Hearst furious
What 'piggies' need is a damn good whacking.

Convicted urban-terrorist-turned-housewife Sara Jane 'Soliah' Olson is back in custody after a 'woops' clerical error caused the California Dept of Corrections to incorrectly calculate her release date, a CDC spokesman said today.

Sara Jane 'Soliah' Olsen was free for more than a day before the CDC realised that her actual release date was in 2009.

The messy 3'X3' work cubicle of a lower echelon clerk and lifelong Trekkie is said to be responsible for what CDC spokesman are calling an "aberration".

A proliferation of tiny articulated Deep Space Nine and Star Trek The Next Generation 'action figure' dolls and accessories across his work desk caused 36-year-old Sean Schumann of Buena Park California to miss a crucial data key and authorise the premature release of the infamous '70s-era domestic terrorist.

Mr. Schumann is now seeking entry-level employment outside the criminal justice field; resume available on request.

The California Dept of Corrections request for a 'do over' resulted in the detention of Soliah Olson on her arrival in Tibet with fellow members of the new Symbionese Liberation Army. She was then flown to Los Angeles International Airport where CDC officers took her back into custody.

Her re-arrest took place 'without incident' but prevented the planned SLA 'action' to protest Big Brother's brutal repression of Tibet.

Flustered members of the new Symbionese Liberation Army left boxes of small arms, mimeographed pamphlets and a large room-service bill at their commandeered Lhasa Apso bed-and-breakfast and flew immediately to a safehouse on the campus of U C Berkley where several members now have grandchildren in attendance.

Speaking for everyone everywhere who is sick and tired of government incompetence and ineptitude, urban soldier 'Field Marshall Six' Patty Hearst issued this statement:

"You political piggies suck. Big time."

The Symbionese Liberation Army is reevaluating their long-awaited return to the international terrorism scene in light of this loss of Soliah, a crucial dues-paying member and the only one able to make a decent pot of coffee.

Tragic Rabbit, USA Tomorrow, Berkley

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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