July 1st solar eclipse will bring down Hong Kong astrologers warn Wen Jiabao

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 27 June 2011

image for July 1st solar eclipse will bring down Hong Kong astrologers warn Wen Jiabao
Jiabao's own stargazers are studying the implications

London - Visiting Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao took the announcement 'on the chin' as British astrologers issued their warning at crunchtime today.

The gung-ho PM has steadfastly stonewalled on years of Hellfire Club, Triad gangster and Pyongyang collusions in the trillion dollar-capitalised King Kong & Ping Pong Hang 'Em High Bank.

The high street lender's decades-long bender on Enron-rooted scams is predicted to come to a very sticky end this Friday, the fourteenth anniversary of the UK's 'handover' of Hong Kong to the Chinese.

During the early 1990s - at the height of Princess Diana's reign of insanity - the bank was behind a stunning series of Palace room mortgage frauds designed to pay for the royal fruitcake's multi-million dollar annual clothing bill.

Friday's 9-degrees Cancer occultation takes place on what would have been the Princess's 50th birthday.

For superstition-mad Chinese the aspect is significant because the sun/moon eclipse is diametrically opposed to the position of Lilith - or the 'Dark Moon' in Hong Kong's natal chart.

"Ignore it at your peril, Mr Jiabao," Canary Wharf astrologer Stella Cupcakes told reporters from the Isle of Dogs Evening Argus this afternoon.

"Your nation knows better than most what the 'True Lilith' aspect really means."

For the unenlightened Lilith/the Dark Moon is the focal point unoccupied by the Earth - not an actual planetary body but a mathematical point astrologers use to describe humanity's innate subconscious.

It characterises taboos, uncrossable thresholds, powerlessness/unmanageability and a deep-seated refusal to submit.

Friday's eclipse takes place on Lilith's 'opposite' point, the Priapus, at a perigee position where the Moon is closest to the Earth.

"We could be talking earthquakes, tremors and one helluva tsunami," Cupcakes added.

"Wanna forecast for next year's Olympic Games?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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