Self-Surveillance Leads Nashville Man to Suspect Himself of Terrorism
After weeks of surveilling his own thoughts, Cody Owens of Nashville, Tennessee, came to suspect himself of terrorism – or at least of having markedly terrorist bent. “I’ve always been against unchecked surveillance,” said Owens, a self-described…
Read full storyDonald the Con Man
(To be sung to the melody of "Frosty the Snowman") Donald the Con Man was a pissy mean old fool With a fake orange face and a bulbous nose And two eyes without a soul. Donald the Con Man is a sordid tale, they say. He was made of dough but the…
Read full storyScientists Say That The Great Salt Lake In Nevada Is Actually Only .3% Salt and Not 99% As Previously Believed
SALT LAKE CITY – (Satire News) – A group of Utah scientists recently finished a five week research study and they have learned that the Great Salt Lake is not what it appears to be. For millions of years, everyone believed that the lake, whose rea…
Read full storyPresident Biden Has Proof That Donald Trump Colluded With The Russians, The Chinese, and The Venezuelans
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The New News Now News Agency has just boken the story that President Biden has just been informed by the CIA that the ex-president, Don the Con (Trump), did in fact have underhanded dealings with Vladimir Putin and…
Read full storyThe Extremely Sexy "The Housewives of Tijuana" Voted The Number One Reality Show In All of North America
TIJUANA, Mexico – (Satire News) – Mexico’s El Ole News Agency has just named “The Housewives of Tijuana” the numero uno (#1) reality show in the entire North American continent. According to El Ole, the show beat out such favorites as “The Guacam…
Read full storyThree people injured as clown drives his clown car into crowd
Hundreds of Torontonians braved the cold weather to celebrate the 166th anniversary of the infamous Toronto Clown Riot of 1855. Many came out dressed as clowns, some with plastic swords, baseball bats or boxing gloves. Others had faux black eyes, ban…
Read full storyDonald Trump is Now Facing Federal Counterfeiting Charges
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – As if being a sexual predator, a racist, a liar, and basically a low-life, evil hate-mongering SOB isn't enough, word now coming from the Scandal Today News Agency is that Mr. Erectile Dysfunction Trump is being inv…
Read full storyTrump Denies That He Bought Girlfriend Hope Hicks a House in The Hamptons
MAR-a-LAGO, Florida – (Satire News) – Bedroom Pillow Talk has put out that DJT (Trump) recently purchased a home for his former chief adviser/girlfriend Hope Hicks in the ritzy-as-the-dickens the Hamptons. Trump, as usual used his same old excuse,…
Read full storyJust Call Me Pruneface: 2nd In A Series
BILLINGSGATE POST: Pruneface was a high-ranking Nazi saboteur working surreptitiously in the U.S. during the Second World War. His code-name was "Boche" (the French word for "German"). Although he looked like a prune, his deep wrinkles were the resu…
Read full storyA 91-Year-Old Woman Caught At Chicago’s O’Hare Airport With 608 Fentanyl Pills In Her Granny Panties
CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Chicago Police Department reports that they have just arrested a woman who is 91-years-old. According to a CPD report the woman, identified as Bergina P. Eggyfoss, who is from Norway, and only speaks broken English wo…
Read full storySenator Lindsay Graham Insists He’s Not Gay – He’s Just Flamboyant-As-Hell
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Ever since Lindsay Graham first came to D.C. there have been rumblings about his swishy walkie walkie manner. Nancy Pelosi once said that she had never, ever seen “Old Sissy Britches” as she pegged the fella from…
Read full storyPresident Biden, VP Harris, and Dr. Fauci All Agree That Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump Is 100% Responsible For The Covid-19 Pandemic
WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – The highly respected Alpha Beta News Agency has just reported that the president, the vice-president and the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases have just sent out a press briefing…
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