WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – As if being a sexual predator, a racist, a liar, and basically a low-life, evil hate-mongering SOB isn't enough, word now coming from the Scandal Today News Agency is that Mr. Erectile Dysfunction Trump is being investigated on counterfeiting charges.
According to Cheyenne Patio with STNA, Ivanka’s touchy-feely daddy is so desperate for money that he has resorted to printing it.
The word is that "Baby Fingers" Trump was printing up $1,000 bills.
Meanwhile Melania has said that she knows nothing about anything that her no good, despicable, lying husband has done since she is totally engrossed with her NBA boyfriend LeBron James.
SIDENOTE: Melania recently told Anderson Cooper off-the-record that when she divorces Trump, she will walk away with half of everything he has, including half of his 200 sets of golf clubs, three of his six McDonalds credit cards, and half of his estimated $9.7 million, but she did emphasize that Donaldo can keep his sexy, life-size Hope Hicks inflatable doll.
