Karen calls police on herself after extended tanning session
Multiple police cars, including some with canine attack dogs, responded to an urgent call for help from a woman at the Massage Envy salon this afternoon in Scottsdale. The woman called 911 and identified herself as Karen. According to the 911 recor…
Read full storyBritish cabinet made up entirely of wooden planks
Furniture manufacturers have complained to the UK government that its cabinet is not fit for purpose, and that it will not fulfil the role expected of it. "It is a hastily thrown-together mishmash of planks, nuts and screws," said Jev Ikeason. "I…
Read full storyOrangemen to march on treadmills
July is marching season in Northern Ireland, when bitter frustrated men dress up gaily in orange sashes and 17th century pomp, and parade through the streets in order to annoy their neighbours. Nobody remembers how it all started, but, in 2020, it...
Read full storyBlack Women In Open Revolt Against Violent Husbands
Just when we thought things couldn't possibly get any worse after the recent Black Lives Matter demonstrations and riots, a new protest has begun, against the domestic violence suffered against their persons by the black wives of black men. The o…
Read full storyBaby Boom leads the planet into recession!
As if Covid 19 lockdowns, unemployment, fear of a new pandemic, and furlough payments weren't enough to drive the world into recession! No, now we have a 'baby boom' heading our way like a tsunami hitting Japan! Scientists studying demographic mov...
Read full storyWriting Website Didn't Explain Writing Very Well
An educational website that claimed it had an easy way for its readers to remember how to spell certain words has failed in its mission, after one man spotted a glaring error in its logic. Moys Kenwood, 57, wanted to check the spelling of the word…
Read full storyTrump and Johnson to be replaced by 2-year-old toddlers!
Sensational news coming out of the White House and number 10 Downing Street! A group of Harvard and Oxford University professors have accumulated a questionnaire for both world leaders regarding global, important matters. They also gave the same…
Read full storyMany Evangelicals Are Now Admitting That President Trump Needs to be Put in a Home
SIOUX CITY, Iowa – After following him like baby ducklings behind their mama, Evangelicals are now starting to wake up and see the full picture, the picture that has always been in front of their holier-than-thou countenances. And many of them are…
Read full storyThe NFL In Order To Attract More Members of The LGBTQ Community Will Begin Using Rainbow Colored Footballs
NEW YORK CITY – The powers-that-be in the NFL recently met in the Big Apple, and discussed what they can do to attract more fans to their games. Everyone agreed that, for one thing, they needed to do away with the kickoff, which is the most boring…
Read full storyMajor League Baseball Says “Play Ball!”
NEW YORK CITY – Finally, fans will get to cheer for their favorite baseball teams, as the MLB has announced that the 2020 COVID-19 Baseball Season will begin on July 23, 2020. MLB spokesperson, Guyler P. Monticello, offered up some of the details...
Read full storyTrump’s Next Big MAGA Political Campaign Rally Will Be Held at a McDonalds
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A spokesperson for the 2020 Trump Presidential Campaign has just informed the media that Trump’s next world-famous campaign rally will be held in Moose Mouth, North Dakota. Campaign spokesperson, Peter “Pepe” Von Vixen, pointed…
Read full storyThe Sound of Bats Hitting Balls Will Soon Be Heard as Baseball is Just Around the Corner
NEW YORK CITY – Major League Baseball Commissioner Robert “Bobby” Manfred is thrilled to report that baseball will soon be back at the dozens of MLB parks, stadiums, fields, and domes. Manfred told Hiawatha Pamplona with Sport’s Territory Magazine…
Read full storyActor Leonard McMills, Famous For Playing A Boneless Wing Addict, Caught Eating Boneless Wings in Mall Parking Lot
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA - Hollywood-based actor Leonard McMills who catapulted to fame after being cast as boneless wing addict and gym teacher Lance Miles on the Netflix show "Run For Your Lives" was found by police early Tuesday morning passed o…
Read full storyWhite House To Remain White - For The Time Being
There is to be an all-channel announcement tonight about the future of the White House, after it had been rumored on various social media platforms, that, after pressure from the Black Lives Matter organization, the address at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenu…
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