British cabinet made up entirely of wooden planks

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Thursday, 25 June 2020

image for British cabinet made up entirely of wooden planks
The splendidly functioning cabinet of Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman

Furniture manufacturers have complained to the UK government that its cabinet is not fit for purpose, and that it will not fulfil the role expected of it.

"It is a hastily thrown-together mishmash of planks, nuts and screws," said Jev Ikeason. "I don't know who gave the instructions, but I can't see how anyone could assemble a cabinet so badly. They are so wooden."

The cabinet's role is to advise Prime Minister Johnson and run the various departments. All members must be MPs, but, apart from that, the PM has free rein to select whoever he wishes to join it.

Ikeason said he has not seen a cabinet so poorly put together since his dog tried to build flat-pack furniture.

"Maybe I'm missing something," he said. "The only way you would build a cabinet so useless, is if you deliberately wanted it to do nothing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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