There were 1,090 spoof news stories published in April 2011. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Prince William To Finally Have A Last Name
Middle America, USA - A recent survey of Americans indicate that they do not know Prince William's last name or even if he has ever had one. Some Americans believe his last name might be "Buckingham" or the longer and more unwieldy version, "Pri...Read full story
Pippa Middleton Upset Stories About Her Vagina Not Dominating "The Spoof!"
Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate Middleton and "star of the show" at the recent Royal Wedding, is upset that stories about her vagina are not dominating the most read, most shared, and most rated charts on the humor website "The Spoof!" Pippa, who's...Read full story
Helen Wood Tape: Super Injunction Identities Revealed?
In a brief but revealing meeting with call-girl Helen Wood, whose three-in-a-bed romps with Wayne Rooney hit the headlines two years ago and now finds herself in the middle of three high profile High Court gagging orders, has she perhaps let slip the identities of the two actors and a football legend? Kiss and Sell We meet outside in the sun-soaked backstreets of a sedate part of Manchester.Read full story
DIY SOS Show not aired after legal wrangle
A misunderstanding between designer Julia Kendell and the Durham family in Milton Keynes has resulted in the show not being aired. The DIY SOS team were called in to do their usual redecoration special for the Durham family, after learning that th...Read full story
Pippa Middleton physically shuddered when somebody suggested Harry
Pippa Middleton, sister of Kate Windsor, nee Middleton, physically shuddered when it was suggested that now her big sister had landed a prince, she should go for a prince too, and snaffle Prince Harry. "Dirty Harry?" she was overheard replying. "I...Read full story
Queen Elizabeth Confirms That Manchester United's Chicharito And His Girlfriend Shakira Will Be Attending The Royal Wedding
LONDON - As Queen Elizabeth continues to make the final preparations for the upcoming April 29 Royal Wedding she was asked by members of the press covering the highly prestigious event about some of the invited guests. The queen replied that out o...Read full story
Man With World's Longest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina To Go On Night Out With Man With The World's Shortest Penis And Woman With World's Smallest Vagina
The match-up that all the world has been waiting for - the men and women with the extremes in cocks and snatches - is to finally happen next month in New York, when the man with the world's longest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina...Read full story
Manchester United's Chicharito Shocked By Girlfriend Shakira's Brand New 'Bikini Line' Tattoo
MANCHESTER, England - Javier Hernandez Balcazar, who plays for the Red Devils of Manchester United, says that it takes a lot to shock him. But the man known as Chicharito confessed to a reporter for The Tickety Boo News, Neville Twickenbuck, that his girlfriend recently gave him the surprise of his young life. Chicharito said that Shakira had just returned from a 27-city concert tour of Sout...Read full story
Prince Upset To Learn On Wedding Night That Kate Isn't A Virgin
Prince William was unhappy to learn on his wedding night that his bride, Kate Middleton, was not a virgin. From the lobby pub of a local hotel, he complained vocally to other drinkers about his wedding night blues. He told one one group of men wi...Read full story
Some royal bridesmaids dubbed pug-ugly freaks
London - "You shouldn't call them freaks," protocol watchers seethed with ire as little Grace Van Cutsem and Lady Louise Windsor performed in public today. Yet it's hard to find kind words to describe some of the inbreds at today's royal gravy tra...Read full story
Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Respond To The Stunningly Steamy Marriage Rumors
LAS VEGAS - The stars of The Vampire Diaries Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, who have been an item for some time now, were recently spotted cuddling like a couple of newlyweds at The Ravishing Risque Resort Hotel and Spa in Las Vegas. The two we...Read full story
Pippa Middleton buttock falsies all the rage
London - "At this stage we simply don't know if they're surgical implants," one ogler commented, "or polystyrene slip-ins, part of some designer thong. "Still, it's the only sartorial topic on most blokes' minds, like, watching Pip sashay up the A...Read full story
FOX News Explains Why They Finally Had To Cancel 'The Glenn Beck Show'
NEW YORK CITY - After months of speculation and rampant innuendo FOX News has finally announced why they have decided to cancel The Glenn Beck Show. Maxwell F. Woodpracket, spokesperson for FN said that contrary to what many members of the news me...Read full story
Austrian baker arrested after baking cakes with rather a "Nazi" taste!
An Austrian baker, Herr Swashsticker (name changed for legal reasons) has been caught baking very "Nazi" cakes for his customers and consequently, is being prosecuted. Austria, birth place of Adolf, has forbidden all Nazi memorabilia and denies ha...Read full story
Angelina Jolie Furious As She Finds An 'Explicitly Lewd Upskirt' Photo of Jennifer Aniston in Brad Pitt's Car
PROVENCE, France - Fireworks erupted on the grounds of the $26 million mansion according to several of the estate employees. One of the swimming pool caretakers identified as Chevalier Franchot LaFry, 43, said that he was cleaning the leaves out of the pool when he heard quite a commotion coming from the garage area. He walked over and noticed that Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie were arguing at the...Read full story
Royal Wedding Makes Impact on First Family; Michelle Orders Carriage!
White house spokesman James Corny (sic) said Michelle Obama found the Royal Wedding so moving, so emotional, and so stirring, she has demanded the President order a carriage....and hats, lots of hats...and a uniform...with a sword! Speaking off...Read full story
Homeless Man Calls Balotelli: "A Tight Bastard."
It seems that Manchester City's Italian strike sensation, and occasional bad boy, Mario Balotelli, can do no right. Emerging from a Manchester casino in the early hours, the young Italian spotted homeless man, Thomas Trinder, 56, bedding down for...Read full story
Arsenal's Andrey Arseshavin goes for full-on Brazilian
Emirates Stadium - New non-chafe shorts will have to be worn for a while, the Gunners midfielder told worried team mates today. Russian-born Arse-shavin has struggled to hold down the North London club's official kit which may have 'rubbed him up...Read full story
Shearer Stays Tight Lipped On Rumours
BBC Football pundit Alan Shearer is remaining tight lipped about rumours linking him with ITV sports presenter Gabby Logan. The former Newcastle United and England centre forward issued a "no comment" when approached by journalists outside the BBC...Read full story
Posh Victoria Beckham embarrasses Prince William and Kate Middleton and forces termination of Royal Wedding
In mind numbingly stupid scenes, Victoria "Posh" Beckham has responded to the Archbishop of Canterbury's Royal Wedding ceremonial asking of "any reason why this marriage should not proceed" by replying loudly in the affirmative and walking up to the...Read full story
So Longo, Mountain Bongo, in the Wrongo?!
The largest forest antelope, the Mountain Bongo, is almost certainly going to be come extinct. The native African species is projected to become extinct within the next 14 years, unless 'evolution' plays a blinder. Although the exploits of man hav...Read full story
Hollywood To James Middleton: We Loved Your Audition
James Middleton, the brother of Kate, did a "marvelous audition" at the royal wedding with his theatrical and attention-getting bible reading, according to executives at Cinecrack Studio. They contacted Mr. Middleton immediately after his show sto...Read full story
Angelina Jolie Angrily Denies She Cheated On Brad Pitt With George Clooney
NEW ORLEANS - The entire Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie family is in New Orleans while Pitt films the latest in the Indiana Jones series, Indiana Jones - The Search For The Alternate Life Style. The film stars Harrison Ford and co-stars Neil Patrick H...Read full story
In A Real Shocker - Kate Gosselin Says She Wants To Adopt All Six of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's Kids
PARAPARAUMU, New Zealand - Kate Gosselin has traveled with her 8 kids to film episodes of her show Kate Plus 8 in Alaska, Australia, and now New Zealand. She says that next she would like to go and visit the tiny African country of Loombeezi. When...Read full story
Britney Spears Caught Exiting Out Of A Car With Underwear On!
BEVERLY HILLS - In an amazing turn of events regarding one of the most prolific expousers of the paparazzi phenomenon that has come to be known as 'Upskirt' shots, or as they refer to it up in Oregon, 'Beaver' shots Britney Spears was photographed ex...Read full story
Taylor Lautner Explains Why He Sent An Extremely "Erotic Email" To Kate Gosselin
CANCUN, Mexico - Taylor Lautner, who has appeared in all of the Twilight series movies, took a much needed vacation down to the extreme southernmost part of Mexico. Lautner flew down to Cancun, Yucatan, where he stayed at the luxurious Ole Toro Resort Hotel, which is one of the finest hotels located in the resort town of Cancun. The word 'Cancun' is Spanish for 'Land where the local citizens...Read full story
Pornstar Suffers Injury On Film Set!
A serious accident occurred yesterday on the set of an adult movie starring Dick Ramrod, one of the most popular hunks in the porn world. Unbeknownst to his fans, Dick has had a private problem for several years which until today anyway, he's be...Read full story
"Who ya callin a £1,000 tramp, Balotelli??"
Manchester - Canal Street's Premiership sluts are up in arms amid claims the Man City star doshed up a 'lonely tramp' with a £1,000 gambling bung. The bemused bagman was spotted outside the 666 Casino fingering a hefty wedge given to him by the £1...Read full story
Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato To Record A CD Featuring Updated Versions Of Beatles Songs
LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber has stated that he will be going into The West Coast Woodstock Recording Studio located in Tarzana to record a CD featuring updated Beatles songs. Bieber, who has rewritten most of the songs that will be appearing on th...Read full story
Fernando Torres To Leave Chelsea For Barcelona In Summer
Fernando Torres, the Chelsea striker who scored his first goal for the club in the 3-0 win over West Ham at the weekend, has indicated that he may leave Chelsea for Barcelona in the summer. Torres, 27, endured 903 minutes of football before he fin...Read full story
Country Singer Chely Wright Says She's Found The 'Wright' Woman And Lesbian Wedding Bells Will Be Ringing In August
WILLAMANTIC, Connecticut - Country music singer Chely Wright 40, who came out of the bunkhouse closet last year and told the world that she is a full-fledged lesbianite has just announced that on August 20, 2011, she is getting herself 'hitched' as t...Read full story
J.K Rowling to reissue the Harry Potter series for more mature audiences
In an effort to re-capitalize on the Harry Potter franchise, J.K. Rowling has announced she will rewrite all the series of books with slightly different titles and story-lines to appeal to older readers. The first book will be called Harry Potter and the Sorcerer Get Stoned. In this delightful tale, Harry goes to Hogwarts for the first time and unknowingly finds himself in the middle of a drug...Read full story
Royal Wedding Photographers Prepare For Nip Slips, Wardrobe Malfunctions
Photographers at the Royal Wedding will be prepared for all things: bad weather, poor lighting, distance shots, etc. They are also, however, preparing for events not generally anticipated, like nip slips and wardrobe malfunctions. Coveted press pos...Read full story
US website names Brit hyper-injunction celebs
Cyberspace - LA FagHagSlagMag today named a 'high profile Opus Dei slag' caught stalking prominent UK politicians. The sordid $$$ millions sextortion racket identifies George W Bush bastard spawn Ms Lucrezia Borgia Ratzinger-Bush. Her lurid Su...Read full story
Spanish nudist gym offers extra penis and boob insurance?
A Spanish nudist gym, the first of its kind in Spain, has come up with a brilliant idea to insure their punters "private parts" extra just in case they let their weights slip, "ouch"! The gym are offering extra penis and boob insurance in case of...Read full story
Oldest man in the world dies after having sex!
The oldest man in the world was an American and now he's dead, his name was Walter (RIP) and his secret of longevity was sex! After his wife died in 1957 he vowed never to have sex again and practiced celibacy. But never envisaging that he woul...Read full story
Jesse James and Fiancee Kat Von D Reveal Their "X-Rated" Tongue Tattoos On The Oprah Winfrey Show
CHICAGO - Jesse James and his much tattooed girlfriend Kat Von D recently appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show where they each revealed about 40 percent of their tattoos. The inked couple who say that they love tattoos because it makes them feel superior to non-tattooed people told Ms. Winfrey that there is no reason for anyone these days not to have a tattoo as they have become very affordable d...Read full story
Chicharito Leaves Chelsea In Tatters
Chelsea's season ended ignominiously here at Old Trafford tonight, at the precise moment that Javier Hernandez, aka Chicharito pounced onto a Ryan Giggs cross to score as half-time loomed in the Champions League quarter final second leg. That goal...Read full story
Queen Elizabeth Has Asked Shakira and Her Boyfriend Chicharito To Spend The Weekend of The Royal Wedding In Buckingham Palace As Her Honored Guests
LONDON - Queen Elizabeth, the ever so gracious host that she is, has informed two of her favorite people, Manchester United's Chicharito and his erotically sexy girlfriend Shakira, the Colombian singer/belly dancer, to spend the weekend of the Royal...Read full story
James Middleton To Be The New Bond
Hollywood, CA - After watching the stunningly suave Bible reading given by James Middleton at the royal wedding of his sister Kate, casting agents in Hollywood and the UK have confirmed it is a "done deal" that he will be the new face of Bond - Ja...Read full story
Missing Cobra Found at the Bronx Zoo; Oprah Invites Her to Chicago
The snake captured the attention of the world when she was on the run for six days. But Thursday morning, she herself was captured when Bronx Zoo officials found her in a corner of the Reptile House. "I was hoping to see the world but never qui...Read full story
'Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 2' - Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint Talk About The Kissing Scenes
NEW YORK CITY - Movie experts are predicting that when Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows: Part 2 premiers in July, it could possibly surpass the second highest grossing movie of all time James Cameron's The Titanic. Motion Picture experts feel that it might even eventually end up surpassing the number one grossing movie Avatar. Three of the movies main stars recently visited New York City...Read full story
Ashley Cole And John Terry Spotted Laughing After Champions League Disaster
An independent witness claimed last night to have seen Chelsea and England stars Ashley Cole and John Terry laughing as they boarded the team bus at Old Trafford following their team's season ending defeat in the Champions League quarter final second...Read full story
Grand National Winner Ridden By Alien, Claims Expert
Journalists were still baffled last night as they tried to understand how the UK's top horse race - the Grand National - was won and lost. As usual, there was terrific interest in the greatest event in the horse-racing calendar. The race lived...Read full story
Final seating plan for Royal Wedding Reception announced
The seating arrangements for the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton have today been published on the website Willieleaks, bringing with it a host of surprises, together with some unexpected guests, also officially termed as surpr...Read full story
PlayStation Network Hack Was by PlayStation Network
TOKYO - After 77mn identities of PlayStation Network (PSN) users was stolen, including physical addresses, names, IP addresses, ages, and passwords, Sony got right onto finding out who hacked into one of the largest gaming networks. Sony had taken...Read full story
Kate Middleton: I'm no virgin.
Miss Kate Middleton, to be metamorphosed into Princes Catherine in 48 hours, is taking legal action against two London tabloids - 'The Pun' and 'The Daily Wale'. In an exclusive interview with the hard-news daily 'The Whines' Miss Middleton explai...Read full story
1,000 tonnes of commemorative Thames sewage to mark Queen's Diamond Jubilee
London - The mile-long turd flotilla will lead the procession commemorating the Rowlingesque fairy tale of the Queen's 60-year reign. The waterborne pageant announced today will be headed by a carnival float of Euro-septic tank pathogens including...Read full story
Kate Middleton orthodontist in Grand National glory bid
Liverpool - The man who's reshaped the gnashers of hundreds of Z-listers - including anorexic trainwreck Kate Middleton - is set to make history at Aintree on Saturday. Sam Waley-Cohen rides 12-1 shot Oscar Time in the Grand National, the first am...Read full story
Saudi Arabia introduces beret ban
Two Frenchmen were arrested today in Mecca, Saudi Arabia for wearing berets in a local park. The repressive religious Saudi regime recently introduced laws which forbid public displays of Frenchness. As well as the beret ban, it is also illegal to...Read full story
Jessica Simpson Confesses How Her "Sex Life" Has Been Improved By Her Recent Weight Gain
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jessica Simpson has revealed for the first time that she can no longer get into the Daisy Duke short shorts that she wore in the 2005 motion picture The Dukes of Hazzard. Simpson, who weighed a svelte 119 pounds when she filmed t...Read full story
Charlie Sheen Says He Wants Pippa Middleton To Replace Rachel Oberlin, The 'Goddess' That Dumped Him
SHERMAN OAKS - Charlie Sheen, the man of half a dozen nicknames including "Space Cadet" has revealed that he wants Kate Middleton's sister Pippa to replace Rachel "Bree" Oberlin who dumped him earlier this week in the capacity of his co-goddess. S...Read full story
Pippa Middleton Announces Engagement To Bargis Tryhol (The Man With The World's Largest Penis)
Pippa Middleton, the younger sister of new Princess Kate Middleton, has announced her engagement to American Bargis Tryhol, Pippa became an international celebrity yesterday when her ass was the most photographed thing at Great Britain's most recent...Read full story
Tiger Woods Hires World Class Dominatrix To Whip His Swing Into Shape
Still licking his wounds after failing to win the 2011 Masters yesterday, Tiger reflected on why he hasn't won this tournament since 2006. While shooting a 31 on the front nine, and for a short time seeing his name on top of the leader board, he onc...Read full story
Shocking News Coming Out Of Australia Is That Kate Gosselin Had The P*e Kicked Out Of Her By A Deranged Kangaroo
BRISBANE, Australia - Word coming out from 'The Land Down Under' is that Kate Gosselin, star of Kate Plus 8 was viciously kicked by what is being described by an Australian game warden as a deranged kangaroo. Kate and her eight brats, ah make that kids, had flown to Australia, the home of Keith Urban, Nicole Kidman, Mel Gibson, and Mick Dundee, to film some episodes for her award-winning cable...Read full story
Royal Wedding Was Planned With Hitler In Mind
It's here! At last, after all the months of build-up and nervous excitement, the day of the Royal Wedding of Prince William and his beautiful bride Kate Middleton has finally arrived, and not before time! Or, as some might say, one day before time...Read full story
Scientists find sugar to be a bio-warfare agent
Bethesda Maryland - Sugar is not just toxic, as some have recently postulated; but Dr. Guerivarewus, who works in a secret lab, has proven that it is a bio-warfare agent designed to kill all animal life on Earth. As Dr. Guerivarewus has shown, pla...Read full story
Man City: "We will literally destroy Man U"
Manchester City boss Roberto Mancini has promised his club's fans something special this weekend in their long-awaited cup tie with rivals Manchester United. He said, "We will absolutely smash them. They will be picking up the pieces for months af...Read full story
Jon Cryer Announces He Will Be Directing Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, and Bristol Palin In The Film "The Spoiled Circus Brats"
HOLLYWOOD - Actor Jon Cryer, former cast member on television's number one situation comedy Two and A Half Men, until Charlie "Tiger Blood Boy" Sheen messed up that little 'gold mine' of a show all to hell, will be stepping into the director's chair.Read full story
Married only one day and Prince William sleeps with a commoner
In a shock revelation that shocked the world into shock, it was revealed that newly-married Prince William spent his first night of marriage with a commoner. Dave Filth, reporter at large - well he is 32 stone in weight - revealed the sordid facts...Read full story
Abramovich to sell Chelsea if they lose to Man Utd!
Roman Abramovich has promised to burn all his bridges across the Thames if Chelsea get the "blues" and are blown away by the awesome "Red Army" tonight in Manchester. Roman has invested millions and wasted millions on his favourite toy and failed...Read full story
Rap Legend Dr. Dre Sued For Medical Malpractice
Rap legend Dr. Dre has been a household name for decades, however the longtime hip-hop producer is making headlines for undesirable reasons, as Dre could be heading "Straight Out of Compton" and into prison. In surprising news, the music icon fi...Read full story
Demi Lovato Confesses That She Is Passionately Torn Between Wilmer Valderrama and Joe Jonas
HOLLYWOOD - Demi Lovato was having dinner with her mom at The Grauman's Chinese Theater Diner when she was approached by a newspaper reporter. The reporter identified as Redwood Fingerboo with The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle asked Demi about the recent rumors about her ex-boyfriend Joe Jonas, one/third of The Jonas Brothers Band. Demi blushed and said that she really did not want to talk a...Read full story
Black pudding is new super-food!
The centuries-old breakfast favourite, Black Pudding, has been rated as a super-food by leading top nutritionists at the Didcott Food and Drink Research Laboratories. A report reveals that black pudding has now joined the ranks of super-healthy fo...Read full story
Pointy Ears Is Latest Plastic Surgery Craze; Star Trek's Mr. Spock Furious
Step right up to the operating table and get your pointy ears. Yep, that's right. Forget about big boobs or a perfect nose. It's elf ears that people are demanding these days. Mr. Spock isn't happy about it. Not at all. "These folks are a...Read full story
Wikileaks Reveals Details of Kate Middleton's Wedding Dress
With only three days to go until the royal wedding, Wikileaks have released full details of Kate Middleton's dress. The dress was to be kept secret, but a naughty tailor at Buckingham Palace is said to have sold the design to internet whistle-blowers...Read full story
Talking tactics with Gabby Logan and Alan Shearer
In another in our series, Gabby and Alan give their insightful nuggets on how the beautiful game should be played. Interviewer: "So then, what tactics would you employ in order to come off as winners?" Gabby: "When playing away from home, you h...Read full story
Eight-foot portrait of nude in chains 'looks like News of the World hackette Rebekah Brooks'
London - Entitled 'Flamin' Allegory' the painting shows a ruddy-haired near-naked woman chained to rocks 'like some feminist Prometheus'. In the background ominous Leonardo Da Vinci-style Virgin on the Rocks monoliths partially obscure a burning o...Read full story
Bird Watchers use Twitter to twatch for twites
Bird watchers group the Blue Footed Boobies, have set up a Twitter group called Twitter Twitcher where information on the latest bird movements in the UK are posted to aid fellow bird watchers to locate the most interesting locations to head for.Read full story
Lady Gaga Caught Surfing "In The Buff" Down At Cabo San Lucas
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Lady Gaga flew down to Mexico to get away from the maddening crowd of El Lay as well as to ease her mind regarding her recent highly publicized feud with Beyonce and the lawsuit filed against her by The Lady Gaga Day Care Cen...Read full story
Kate Shocks Prince William On Their Wedding Night With A Brand New "Bikini Line" Tattoo
LONDON - Prior to the Royal Wedding Day, Kate Middleton had confided to her sister Pippa that she had a wedding night surprise for William that she knew was going to literally knock his Royal socks off. And reports from Brompton Boxgrove of The Ti...Read full story
Dire Straits to reform
A communiqué from Mark Knopfler, lead guitarist and singer for the original sultans of swing, Dire Straits, has news for fans, and announced that he's fed up of earning money for nothing, and wishes to reform the band to make new music. The band...Read full story
Lansley Needs Emergency Care
Health Secretary Andrew Lansley's mission to destroy the National Health Service is coming off the rails. Nurses have no confidence in him and he suffeered another setback when he felt ill at their conference. Emergency services were called but...Read full story
Royal Wedding - Prince Harry - Who's The Daddy?
In a shameful display of guttersnipe journalism at the very nadir of good taste - there are certain dirty minded bastards who have started to question who good Prince Harry's real father is. The problem has arisen since brothers, Harry and William...Read full story
IBM Computer Watson Announces He's Available for College Commencement Speeches
Fresh from his victory on the game show "Jeopardy," he told the world at a press conference yesterday that he's ready for his next challenge: stepping up to the podium to give commencement speeches. So far, there are no invitations. But Watson...Read full story
Prince William Says The Rumor Of His "Lustfully Lascivious" Lap Dance From Heidi Montag Is Simply Not True
LONDON - The soon-to-be wed Prince William recently attended a surprise birthday party for one of his childhood friends Wycliffe Burgershire at Wycliffe's home in Upper Tooting. Wycliffe is the long time friend who first taught William all about f...Read full story
University Challenge's Clemo to marry Katie Price
Andrew 'Clemo' Clemo, the captain of the defeated York team in the University Challenge final, emerged from the BBC studios with a cheeky grin on his face and his own personal trophy. Not the impressive glass ornament that was being clutched by Ma...Read full story
Obama extends NASA powers over 'Tracy Island' UFO command HQ cover-up
Alaska - An executive order first signed by LBJ has seen US military documents about Alaska's Mount Hayes ringfenced for another 100 years it was reported this week. President Obama extended a NASA cover-up over the 8,000ft peak amid mounting Pent...Read full story
Wayne Rooney in Four Word Outburst
Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney stunned millions of television viewers by revealing he now has a vocabulary of four words. After completing his hat-trick in the 4-2 win over West Ham United at Upton Park, Rooney shouted the words 'Fucking w...Read full story
The Producers of American Idol 'Adamantly Demand' That Contestants Lauren Alaina, James Durbin, and Jacob Lusk All Lose Weight
LOS ANGELES - In a move that has a lot of viewers of the top rated reality show American Idol up in arms, the shows producers have sent in-house memos to three of the remaining six contestants that they need to lose some weight. The shows producer...Read full story
The Real Facts Behind The Donald Trump Vs. Jerry Seinfeld Feud
NEW YORK CITY - Reports are that Donald Trump was so mad at Jerry Seinfeld that his hairdo was actually standing on end although one would really be hard pressed to know that since the hairdo from hell always looks like it is standing on end. Sein...Read full story
Queen 'is slowly bleeding to death:' reports
London - Has a Palace physician forgotten to remove a hirudo medicinalis - or medical leech - from the Queen's nasal passage? Red top fears for a right royal RIP are rife this weekend amid reports of HM's recent spate of nosebleeds. On Monday...Read full story
Hugh Hefner Invites Demi Lovato and Wilmer Valderrama To A Big Bash In Honor of Demi Lovato At The Playboy Mansion
HOLMBY HILLS - Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner, who is soon to leave the ranks of bachelorhood, recently threw a big party bash in honor of Demi Lovato at the Playboy Mansion in Holmby Hills. Hefner said that he greatly admired young Lovato for the way...Read full story
Fernando Torres Dedicates First Goal To Prince William And Kate Middleton Ahead Of Royal Wedding
Chelsea striker Fernando Torres is in wonderland after scoring his first goal for the club in the 3-0 victory over West Ham at the weekend, and has dedicated the goal to Prince William and his bride-to-be Kate Middleton ahead of Friday's Royal Weddin...Read full story
Royal Wedding News: Fernando Torres To Stage Re-enactment Of His First Chelsea Goal
Chelsea striker Fernando Torres, who scored his first goal in a Blues shirt in the 3-0 win over West Ham last weekend, is to be allowed to stage a re-enactment of the goal at the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton on Friday. Torres...Read full story
The Lady Gaga - Beyonce Feud Continues To Heat Up!
LOS ANGELES - The infamous Lady Gaga-Beyonce Feud which started several weeks ago shows no signs of letting up. The feud between the two divas started when each one made fun of the other one's name. The name-calling soon escalated into more seriou...Read full story
Indonesian Surgeons Mum on Reports Scars on Obama's Head Resulted from Labotomy as a Child!
Following startling speculation backed by photographic evidence of a massive scar on President Obama's scalp that he had 'massive brain surgery,' the White House refuses to confirm or deny Obama is on medication to compensate for operating with only...Read full story
Katy Perry's Three Big Boobs
After marrying comedian Russell Brand Katy Perry has been feeling terribly lopsided. Her balance and equilibrium have been out of whack and so she's been undergoing extensive medical and psychiatric analysis to detect the source of the problem.Read full story
Doctors will bleed the Queen one last time
London - The ancient ceremony dates back to Bloody Mary days when loyal courtiers were rewarded with a tot of HM's O-negative. Royal physician Sir Harold Shipman-Culpepper performed today's blood-letting rite despite last week's reprimand for leav...Read full story
Britney Spears Denies Those Sexually Provocative Rumors About Her And Mel Gibson And She Reveals The Reason For Her Recent Weight Gain
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Britney Spears, who passed up an opportunity to appear in the Twilight movie series due to a bad case of tonsillitis, recently dismissed the sexually provocative rumors regarding her and her BFF Mel Gibson. Spears said that her a...Read full story
Scary Clown Lizard Erin Moran Fakes Orgasm, Releases Electromagnetic Pulse-like Wave of Impotence Throughout Nation.
Erin Moran, the scary clown-lizard actress that Happy Days creator Garry Marshall passed off as sexy for years, has devastated the penis-wielding public from coast-to-coast, when a leaked video of her faking an orgasm while a cast member of Celebrity...Read full story
Justin Bieber causes medical emergency by talking about his penis
Teenage heart and other bodily area throbber Justin Bieber has got himself into a spot of bother with hordes of screaming girls as a result of his witterings on the stage of the O2 White Elephant arena in London. He was attempting to demonstrate t...Read full story
Unofficial Royal Wedding Live Feed Schedule Released By Donald Trump
London - With the wedding bells all but rung, many are wondering when Kate Middleton and Prince William will get down to brass tacks. While many think the Honeymoon Night has been completely hidden, I was there when Donald Trump today divulged he has...Read full story
Taj Mahal royal honeymoon is doomed warns Aishwarya Rai
Mumbai - Rumors that Kate and William are heading to India on honeymoon have been met with horror among Bollywood's astro-savvy elite. "By all means take Kate on the ganja trail to Goa," Aishwarya Rai commented, "maybe even Kathmandu for the hashi...Read full story
Reese Witherspoon: "Yeah, I'm Into Bondage"
Hollywood, CA - America's Sweetheart and favorite chick flick blond has come clean about what she likes in the bedroom. And it isn't Water For Elephants. "Me and my ex Ryan (Mr. Phillippe-Witherspoon) broke up for way different reasons than e...Read full story
Facebook's new server farm is to be put underwater
In an attempt to be as green as possible, Facebook are setting their new server farm, which will run the whole of Facebook, just off the coast of Peru under fifty feet of water. "We've been accused of being bad for the environment," said Mark Zuck...Read full story
The Seductively Sexy Julianne Hough Reveals That The "Erotically Provocative" Photos On The Internet Proclaiming To Be Her Are Not
LOS ANGELES - American Idol's Ryan Seacrest and his girlfriend Julianne Hough were recently having dinner at the five-star Fiery Tongue of The Dragon Restaurant noted world-wide for their Moo Moo Goo Goo Boo Boo Crab Rangoon. Afterwards they were approached by a long time friend of Ryan's Chipper Caruso of Cowbell Notes Music Magazine. Caruso, who is no relation to Anthony, Abner, or David Caru...Read full story
Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal Spotted Exchanging Pickles At A Burger Joint
AVOCADO HEIGHTS, California - One of the top young country singers in America today was spotted with her on-again, off-again boyfriend Jake "The Snake" Gyllenhaal. The two were sitting in a booth at the famous Hank's Hippity Hoppity Hamburger Have...Read full story
Biggest ever Spider fossil is a tiddler!
The biggest spider fossil ever discovered has been found in China. Yet it is a real tiddler! Evolutionists claim that the spider is a relative of the Golden Orb Spider, which grows to approximately 15cm. However, the fossil specimen is a mere 5cm.Read full story
The Green Bay Packers Offer To Pay Charlie Sheen $2 Million For The Use Of His Word "Winning!"
GREEN BAY - The World Champion Green Bay Packers, winners of Super Bowl XLV, have been in contact with Charlie "Sir Warlord" Sheen in regards to use of his patented one-word saying "Winning." The Packers front office has stated that they would lik...Read full story
Kate Gosselin Announces That She Has Agreed To Settle Her Lawsuit Against Sarah Palin
READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin, the Emmy-nominated star of Kate Plus 8 has informed the entertainment media that she has agreed to settle her lawsuit against the ex-governor of Alaska Sarah Palin. Gosselin had filed a lawsuit against the ex...Read full story