Jade Jagger Has Decided To 'Settle Down' And Be A 'Good Mum'

Rock star Mick Jagger's daughter, Jade, has decided to leave her partner and to move to England from the party island of Ibiza. The fashion designer and jewellery maker has decided that she needs to concentrate on being a good 'mum' even though he...

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Charlie Sheen To Be Interviewed By Piers Morgan

Charlie Sheen is said to be going onto the Piers Morgan show to give him the latest scoop on his crisis. The 'Two and a Half Man' star is said to be looking forward to meeting Piers who he refers to as that 'cool Brit'. He said he is planning on...

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OMG! Elizabeth Taylor's secret illegitimate daughter to contest £750million Will

Funny story: OMG! Elizabeth Taylor's secret illegitimate daughter to contest £750million Will

London - Attorneys acting for Dame Elizabeth's four American children are having none of it, of course. But one of Hollywood's best kept Cold War secrets is likely to out this week about the existence of a suspected older sibling living close to T...

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'Full Moon Alert' - Cabin Fever Breaks Out In Idaho

The advent of a full moon has caused a state of emergency in some remote parts of Idaho. In Lake Stanley and the surrounding area the locals are stocking up with extra provisions in order to survive for the next few weeks. Legend has it that ev...

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More Letters To The Editor From People With Silly Names

Funny story: More Letters To The Editor From People With Silly Names

Sir, We have been reading with great interest the recent letters in your magazine from the people with the names. Of course, everyone has a name, excepting that cowboy that Clint Eastwood played, and those who wish to remain incognito - but even these people will often take an alias, such as Smith or Jones. But you get my point. This is interesting to us because we have quite a riot with our...

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CIA Secret Operation "Xbox 360 Fever" Underway to Topple Taliban

Funny story: CIA Secret Operation "Xbox 360 Fever" Underway to Topple Taliban

The CIA is mum on a new secret operation designed to take the Taliban out once and for all. The concept of Operation "Xbox 360 Fever" is based on this country's own experience with realistic computer games. "It is mainly aimed at the male soldiers wh...

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Tea Party Idol

After Michele Bachmann's latest gaffe the tea party could no longer ignore the growing list of errors and bungles. Rather than continuing to deny their mistakes and miscues, they are trying the reverse approach of finally accepting the fact that...

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Spoof Super Heroes Chapter 5: Return of the Black Squirrel

Funny story: Spoof Super Heroes Chapter 5: Return of the Black Squirrel

It wasn't everyday they saw a pirate ship on the Thames, thought Jean Le Fete as he guided the Black Squirrel through yet another bridge. Jesus he thought, I'll bet Buddha didn't have to go through this crap. "Depp! Where the bloody hell is Richards at?" yelled Jean, "We need a guitar solo so we can use the cloaking device, damn near to London now. Look sharp everyone, this isn't a bloody movie...

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Recent developments suggest Japanese nuclear reactor disaster may be worse than officials admit 

Funny story: Recent developments suggest Japanese nuclear reactor disaster may be worse than officials admit 

Tokyo, Japan - Two major developments suggest that the situation in Japan may be even more grave than previously admitted.  First, emergency workers from the damaged nuclear power plant have been sent to major airports, where they are ordered to s...

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Boycott's Mental Message

Funny story: Boycott's Mental Message

Former Test opener, cricket pundit and professional know-it-all Yorkshireman Geoffrey Boycott has caused further outrage with controversial comments on the sensitive issue of mental health. Only days after offending his audience with mockery of Michael Yardy, the English slow bowler who withdrew from the World Cup with depression, Boycott was on the attack again, an event rarely, if ever, witnes...

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Police Artist Sacked For Drawing Crap Photo-fits

Funny story: Police Artist Sacked For Drawing Crap Photo-fits

The police have fired their regular police artist after discovering that the photo-fits he had been producing were really, really shit. Neville Dobbins somehow managed to evade attention from his bosses over the fact that the pictures he had been...

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Foxy Knoxy Given New Hope Over Unreliable Witness

Amanda Knox has been given fresh hope when a prosecution witness was discredited as being unreliable. Tramp and drug addict Antonio Curatolo had originally stated that when he had seen Amanda Knox and Raffaelo Solicito, 25, they had been waiting for...

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The Very First American Idol Winner Kelly Clarkson Reveals Who Her Favorite and Least Favorite 2011 American Idol Contestants Are

Funny story: The Very First American Idol Winner Kelly Clarkson Reveals Who Her Favorite and Least Favorite 2011 American Idol Contestants Are

RALEIGH, North Carolina - Kelly Clarkson, the very first winner on American Idol performed before a sold-out crowd at The Nicotine Stained Ashtray Auditorium in Raleigh. After the concert she spoke backstage with The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette...

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Demi Lovato Reveals The Reason She Cancelled Her Appearance At This Year's Wisconsin Cheese State Fair

Funny story: Demi Lovato Reveals The Reason She Cancelled Her Appearance At This Year's Wisconsin Cheese State Fair

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Demi Lovato was to have appeared at a concert at this year's Wisconsin Cheese State Fair in May but she has reportedly cancelled it. Lovato, who last year spent three months at The Henry and Betty Ford Rehab Clinic spoke with iGo...

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Betty White, Florence Henderson, and Cloris Leachman To Shoot The Sit-Com Pilot "Grandma's Gone Wild!"

Funny story: Betty White, Florence Henderson, and Cloris Leachman To Shoot The Sit-Com Pilot "Grandma's Gone Wild!"

LOS ANGELES - CBS in a desperate bid to pick up some of the millions of viewers that they are going to lose with the cancellation of the rest of the seasons episodes on their hit Two and A Half Men are scurrying to come up with some replacement shows...

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George Lopez Afraid That Kirstie Alley Will Kick His 'Caboose' Eats His Words (No Pun Intended)

Funny story: George Lopez Afraid That Kirstie Alley Will Kick His 'Caboose' Eats His Words (No Pun Intended)

REDONDO BEACH - George Lopez sat on the sand in Redondo Beach, wearing a pair of blue and gold El Lay Lakers swim trunks and a lavender T-shirt with the words "The Grand Canyon's Just A Big Old Arroyo (Creek)" in big red letters. As he spoke with...

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Scientific Institute Is To Be Built In Siberia To Study Yetis

There is going to be a special scientific facility to study yetis. The yeti is a homanid form which is a sub-branch of the humanoid form. There have been reports of yetis, abominable snowmen and 'big foot' in various remote mountainous areas of the world with dense forestation. The creatures are sub-human and are able to 'mate' with humans and it is speculated that there are yeti descendant...

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The 'Man In The Moon' Predicted Weird Happenings On Isle of Wight

The enigmatic moon man has successfully predicted several earthquakes in New Zealand as well as the Japanese Tsunami and the grounding of ships off the coast of the Isle of Wight. The charismatic moon whisperer is able to predict these events by exa...

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Ed Miliband explains how Labour's cuts would be "likeable"

Funny story: Ed Miliband explains how Labour's cuts would be "likeable"

At a union-organised rally against government spending cuts, the Labour leader of the opposition Ed Miliband explained how his party would have handled the financial crisis. He said, "This government must not go ahead with these spending cuts. If...

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Harry organises Willy's stag night and he's booked the Sex Pistols!

Funny story: Harry organises Willy's stag night and he's booked the Sex Pistols!

It certainly will be the stag-night of the century, Prince Harry has decided to organise a really wild-punk-party in honour of his brother's last days as a bachelor. It was suppose to remain a surprise, but Prince Harry, always being slightly cont...

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Research shows anarchists would not last one second in anarchy

New research done by Anarchist Research in Social Evolution (ARSE) has exclusively revealed that anarchists would not last if anarchy took over the UK. The research commissioned by ARSE showed that, if anarchy did take over the country, the lawles...

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Wales 0 - England 2: Sports Hack Nearly Laughs Into Accident

Funny story: Wales 0 - England 2: Sports Hack Nearly Laughs Into Accident

A top sports journalist narrowly avoided a serious accident yesterday after covering the Wales-England Euro qualifier at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff. EIF News & Features sports editor, Thelonious Adidas, was driving home on the M4 after...

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New Sky Channel On The Way

Funny story: New Sky Channel On The Way

Sky TV have announced that yet another new channel will be launched in the coming weeks. Literal TV will be available for all subscribers from April 20th onwards. Sky TV's Head of Programmes Lionel Beveridge gave more details in a statement yesterday: "We at Sky TV are delighted to announce a new channel that we are confident will be a valuable addition to the existing viewing experience.

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Street Opposition Spreads

Funny story: Street Opposition Spreads

In significant developments opposition is spreading. Fires in the streets, sitdowns in public squares, buildings broken into, protesters injured, many arrests. One thing we should be glad about in our beautiful peaceful isle is that it couldn't h...

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SFA Chief Rages At Old Firm

Funny story: SFA Chief Rages At Old Firm

The Scottish Football Association's chief executive Stewart Regan is threatening to take a hard line against the Old Firm after the sectarian singing that blighted the recent League Cup Final. The SFA chief was attending the UEFA Congress in Paris...

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Opera Comes to Essex

Funny story: Opera Comes to Essex

An Essex landowner has built an opera house in the middle of the countryside that will showcase some of the great operattas and classical works this summer. Christopher Stewart-Smith has converted a barn into an amphitheatre that should prove a magnet for orchestras from all over the globe. Some of the works that will be featured this year include : The Garage of Figaro The Tractor o...

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Cosmetic Surgeons Facing Uncertain Future

Funny story: Cosmetic Surgeons Facing Uncertain Future

Cosmetic surgeons in Hollywood are facing a bleak future with the passing of screen icon Elizabeth Taylor. More than 10 of the top nip and tuck surgeons in Tinseltown are having to make staff redundant as they prepare for a massive drop in busines...

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Beauty Queen Wins Appeal

Funny story: Beauty Queen Wins Appeal

A Texas beauty queen has had her claims of unfair dismissal upheld in a U.S court. Dominique Ramirez was stripped of her crown in January of this year after organisers of the San Antonio pageant fired her for turning up at a magazine shoot "too fa...

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Sickenning new development in "neutron beam shrinks thirsty toddlers parents" story

Funny story: Sickenning new development in "neutron beam shrinks thirsty toddlers parents" story

Tokyo - UPDATE 5 The toddler previously reported as having neutron beam shrunken parents has suffered an horrendous overdose of radioactive aspartame. According to Tokyo General Prefecture Hospital, the boy was given five cases of aspartame by A...

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Newt Gingrich to Undergo Exploratory Surgery in Lieu of Exploratory Committee

Funny story: Newt Gingrich to Undergo Exploratory Surgery in Lieu of Exploratory Committee

Des Moines, IA - Newt Gingrich, who more closely resembles something from the Movie, Gremlins, has decided to undergo a makeover, but the changes will not just be skin deep. According to his closest political advisor, Charlie Sheen, "In order for...

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Health Advisories Hazardous to Health: Researchers Link Teen Male Car Wrecks to Katy Perry Breastfeed Promo

Funny story: Health Advisories Hazardous to Health: Researchers Link Teen Male Car Wrecks to Katy Perry Breastfeed Promo

Researchers Link Teen Male Car Wrecks, Katy Perry Breastfeed Promo Noting an increase in health advisory-related accidents, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services is now urging people to ignore all broadcasted public health messages.

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Manchester United's Chicharito Says His Stick Figure Drawings of Prince William and Kate Middleton Are Selling Like Crazy

Funny story: Manchester United's Chicharito Says His Stick Figure Drawings of Prince William and Kate Middleton Are Selling Like Crazy

MANCHESTER - One thing that even the most die-hard fans of Chicharito did not know until only recently is that the Manchester United star, from Mexico is a fantastic stick-figure artist. Javier Hernandez Balcazar's mom stated to Mexico's Las Mara...

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Feral geigers spotted in Tokyo

Funny story: Feral geigers spotted in Tokyo

Tokyo - Feral geigers were spotted by Ms. Yukurtanklingashi of 30024E 3256th St in Tokyo early this morning. Geigers are not usually visible as they are so small. According to Ms. Yukurtanklingashi, these geigers were the size of cats but glowing g...

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Justin Bieber Wants To Buy The Eiffel Tower

Funny story: Justin Bieber Wants To Buy The Eiffel Tower

MOBILE, Alabama - Justin Bieber performed before his 197th straight sell-out crowd in the Southern Gulf of Mexico port city of Mobile. The standing room only crowd at The Land of Cotton Convention Center broke the official concert decibel record...

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