Of all the stupid things that an employee can do...that several former employees can do, to leave the penis off a sex doll is the worst, the boss at Xanadong told his reporters yesterday afternoon according to a still-working employee.
Apparently there was a huge celebration of someone's marriage and the employees had a bit to drink before the "Elvis Presley Sex Doll" was to be finished in plenty of time for thousands of ladies to purchase and enjoy the night after visiting Graceland this Spring.
"Then the idiots created over 500 Elvis dolls and forgot the most important thing", stated Harry Long, assistant manager of Xanadong.
"Then they must have caught what they had done and tried to use plastic bananas and big wooden straight clothespins. It's a wonder we hadn't let some of those out of the factory and been sued millions for splinter injuries and such", stated Long.
"Look, we have some time left. All we can do is go to 24-hour shifts and bring in more employees. We'll attempt to sell these to garment stores. Maybe they'll enjoy having Elvis Presley...well, lets call them an Elvis Imitator, selling their clothing."
"And no Pelvis jokes!"
"It was all John Belvins fault", stated the shift foreman. "If he hadn't gotten married and gave out all that free liquor, it never would have happened."
After viewing the doll personally, this writer could not tell if it was Elvis Presley or John Belushi in a wig. I don't think the future is very promising for the Xanadong Company.
