Secret Of Kate Middleton's Royal Wedding Shoes Revealed

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

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Kate, don't do it! Marry me!!!

Kate Middleton, next in line to be Queen of Hearts, has been causing quite a stir of late with talk of her proposed marriage to Prince William.

Rumours abound as to who is designing parts of her planned wedding attire. And fans and pundits alike, are clamouring for that juicy exclusive picture, or latest piece of gossip about what style she will choose.

Well, boy do we have a scoop for you?

I can exclusively reveal that Miss Middleton has chosen Dutch clogs for her long walk down the aisle later this year.

Kate told us from her room, where she'd sneaked away from lunch with the Queen to make the 'phone call, that she had always been a huge fan of Queen. And especially that of lead guitarist Brian May.

The frizzy-haired fretboard polisher, who looks uncannily like his own wife Anita Dobson, has been wearing the Dutch invented footwear since he was born.

As a tribute to the band and indeed the Queen, Miss Middleton will don a specially designed pair of golden clogs for the happy event. Brian May will help design and build them in his workshop at home, just like he did with his own guitar many, many, many, many years ago and is said to be on the lookout for some 'quality' pine.

Gold leaf will be applied to the clumpy footwear, and a finishing touch of sticking a golden bell on each pointy bit will make them look extra lovely.

We love weddings, and can't wait to see her dress.

Preferably on my bedroom floor.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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