Lines formed around the block in San Francisco at the city's marijuana distribution points as citizens prepared for emergency conditions following an 8.9 earthquake in Japan and a Tsunami warning extending from the California coast up to Washington state.
According to the California Highway Patrol, so far the lines waiting for their prescriptions have been 'orderly', with a staff of emergency Doctors outside the clinics hurriedly filling out prescriptions for "stress, anxiety, and sleeplessness," and additional staff being called in to bag rations and hand them out. No credit cards or 'Paypal" are being accepted, with "Cash Only" being the only payment method.
Down along the beach in Venice, stoned surfers continue to get toked while preparing for what some said would be 'the ride of my life, Dude!"
Said "Sunny" Masterson, a sun parched 62 year old surfer, "Man, I've been waiting for the ultimate wave for over 45 years........I'm goin' ride this bitch all the way to Sacramento!"
Meanwhile in the Capitol, newly elected Governor Jerry 'Moonbeam" Brown said the impending disaster could provide the answer to the state's bottomless debt.
"This is the Big One," said Jerry, " by next week the state is going to have a lot more waterfront property and evaluations and tax revenues are going to go WAAAAAY Up man,
we're saved....saved at last!"
The Governor's announcement was cheered by the thousands of union school teachers and public sector workers that had been faced with paying their fair share to keep the state from going into bankruptcy.
To celebrate their impending good fortune, most emergency service workers, police and fireman took off for a junket to Wisconsin in order to support fellow union workers there in their fight for their right to retire with full pay at 38, and get free health care, viagra, boob jobs and liposuction for life.
Brown said with the exodus of all essential emergency worker personnel, he was forced to declare a State of Emergency and put in a call to the White House and ask for Federal Aid from the President as well as from FEEMA.
According to an Aide to the Governor, no one was up yet at the White House, and a recording said the FEEMA number had been disconnected for non payment of bills left over from the Katrina disaster in New Orleans.
Brown, appearing slightly dazed, confused, and overly mellow while nibbling on a Twinky, didn't seem to be overly concerned.
"I'm sure it will all come out in the wash," he said as he prepared to get into his wet suit after putting the final layer of wax on his Surf Board.
