Selena Gomez Denies That She And Justin Bieber Are Secretly Married

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 25 March 2011


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San Francisco - The home of the Giants, the 49ers, the Seals, and the Sidesaddle Yippie-Ki-Yayers.

SAN FRANCISCO - Selena Gomez and her 'official' boyfriend Justin Bieber were in the city that is home to the World Champion baseball San Francisco Giants.

They were seen having a garden variety pizza on Fisherman's Wharf. A reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight, Pico de Gallo asked the happy-go-lucky couple about the reported rumors that the two had secretly gotten married while visiting Lake Tahoe, Nevada last week.

Gomez blushed, Bieber blushed, and de Gallo turned a little pale. He remarked that he had either stumbled upon the story of the year or else he was getting ready to say that he had never been more embarrassed in his short two month career as a roving reporter for 3T.

Since Bieber could not talk because he had a big bite of pizza in his mouth, Selena said that she would field the question. She replied that they are not married, nor do they plan to get married at least until he saves up a little more money.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called up my good old, retired friend Larry King and I asked him how much Justin Bieber was worth. Larry paused for a few minutes, and then he rattled off a figure of $65.5 million.]

Justin and Selena have recently been discussing recording a CD together. The couple has written two songs each for the CD which is tentatively titled, Jus-Sel - Just Two Fine Cute-As-A Button Talented Teen Idols.

The two songs Bieber will contribute to the album are "Hey Girl I'm Done Sexting Now I Wanna You-Know-What" and "Just Chillaxin' With My Best Girl On A Chilly Canadian Night."

Gomez' contribution to the CD are "Yo Yo There Boy, I Want Ya Ta Be Da Salt In My Shaker" and "You Are So Damn Sexy, My Purity Ring Slipped Right Plumb Off Of My Finger."

Justin and Selena are planning on visiting Paris, France within the coming months. They have been invited to personally tour the Eiffel Tower with France's "First Lady" Carla Bruni-Sarkozy who is a big fan of both Justin and Selena's music.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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