The latest development in a sensational type Daily Male news non-story has Twilight stars and alleged sweethearts Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart looking on in horror as a skylarking Harry Potter star, Emma Watson, and Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner knock down a deckchair on Morecambe beach - almost killing (fatally) Miley Cyrus's pet goldfish "Giggsy" - who was innocently soaking up some grey skies in the faded Lancashire seaside resort.
Apparently, "Giggsy" was almost spilled from his circular bowl as Watson and Lautner joked with one another and fell on the deckchair, almost leaving "Giggsy" flopping about in the sand, facing an arid demise.
The Coast Guard and International Rescue in the form of Thunderbird two and Thunderbird four showed up, but a critical situation was averted as Miley managed to talk "Giggsy" back into some kind of karma by virtue of her non-stop ratchet jaw.
According to reports, "Giggsy" was said to be shaken not stirred and everybody went home.
According to former Skoob Entertainment News supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, the whole thing was a dramatic hoax played out by a crack team from satirical internet website www.thespoof.com
"Just ignore them," Buffty said as he chugged on a bottle of green absinthe he'd purchased whilst on assignment in Barcelona. "They'll tell you anything that lot. They're just trying to start an internet frenzy for stories about goldfish and deckchairs. Basically, it's all bollocks."
More as we get it.
