Written by IainB

Monday, 11 April 2011

image for Facebook's new server farm is to be put underwater

In an attempt to be as green as possible, Facebook are setting their new server farm, which will run the whole of Facebook, just off the coast of Peru under fifty feet of water.

"We've been accused of being bad for the environment," said Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook. "The environmental cost of keeping the servers cool is extraordinary. We're attempting to do something about that."

The new server farm is made from completely waterproof computers, and uses the cold ocean currents to keep the temperature of the chips down. Additionally, the whole data centre is powered by a revolutionary generator that produces power from the movement of the waves across a deep sea trench and the outside of the structure acts as an artificial reef.

"It's the ideal location," said Zuckerberg. "Greenpeace have been on at us for years to clean up our act, well, we have done. On top of this, the new data centre will generate plenty of jobs in a deprived area of Peru. I am justifiably proud of this achievement."

Nieva Satisfyed, lawyer for Greenpeace is not impressed. "The wave power generator Facebook have proposed will disrupt the action of the waves in an important ecological niche in Peru. Additionally, the water used for cooling will disrupt the cold water flow in the area, damaging an important anchovy spawning site some fifteen hundred kilometres away. It's a travesty."

Greenpeace are not just against Facebook, they are also against Google, Twitter and Microsoft.

"Between the four of them, they consume enough power to run Africa," said Satisfyed. "It's about time they all did something about it. Greenpeace will not rest until they do."

Zuckerberg responded by changing the word "Greenpeace" across the whole of Facebook to "pillocks".

"Childish," he admitted, "but immensely satisfying."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Facebook, Greenpeace

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