Manchester United's Chicharito Shocked By Girlfriend Shakira's Brand New 'Bikini Line' Tattoo

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 17 April 2011

MANCHESTER, England - Javier Hernandez Balcazar, who plays for the Red Devils of Manchester United, says that it takes a lot to shock him.

But the man known as Chicharito confessed to a reporter for The Tickety Boo News, Neville Twickenbuck, that his girlfriend recently gave him the surprise of his young life.

Chicharito said that Shakira had just returned from a 27-city concert tour of South America when she surprised him with a new tattoo which she'd had put on her bikini line.

Shakira was very proud of the new tattoo which she said she had gotten in honor of Chicharito and the sport that he loves so much.

But when she showed it to him he suddenly became as pale as Nicole Kidman. She sensed that he was somewhat taken a back and asked him what the problem was.

He shook his head and asked her why she had gotten a tattoo of an American football.

Shakira turned as white as she is, but only whiter, covered her mouth, and remarked that she did not realize it.

She then assured Chicharito that she had told the tattoo artist in Buenos Aires, Argentina, that she wanted a tattoo of an English football and apparently the tattooist misunderstood her and gave her a tattoo of an American football.

Chicharito asked Shakira if she had kept the receipt. She looked at him with a very puzzled look on her face. She told him that she did in fact have the receipt but that she would not be able to get her money back.

She told Chicharito that she was sorry and that she did not catch the mistake because she was so tired that she actually fell asleep during the tattooing procedure.

She did state that thinking back on it now she does remember that the tattoo artist did smell a little bit like cerveza (beer).

Shakira, who has been clocked at shaking her hips at 124 miles per hour, asked Chicharito what he wanted for her to do.

He told her that he knew an excellent tattoo removal artist in Tijuana, Mexico and that they would travel to Tijuana and have the American football removed.

At first Shakira kind of balked at the idea of having laser surgery to remove the tattoo but then after thinking it over she agreed to go to Tijuana and have the tattoo removed.

Chicharito is 22, and Shakira is 34.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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