With only three days to go until the royal wedding, Wikileaks have released full details of Kate Middleton's dress. The dress was to be kept secret, but a naughty tailor at Buckingham Palace is said to have sold the design to internet whistle-blowers Wikileaks for an undisclosed sum.
So, what will Kate Middleton be wearing as she trots up the aisle to marry the future King? The answer, rather unsurprisingly, is beef!
There have been rumours that the Princess would go for a more modern veal and pork combination, but she has stuck with the traditional meat of royal wedding dresses. With a sirloin corset lying beneath a prime rib bustier, her curves are bound to look as full as a butcher's dog's.
The sleeves are a subtle tone of ox tongue, her veil is made of giblets and her train will be an enormous patchwork of steaks sewn together and lightly browned with gravy. Even the bridesmaids will be wearing finest cuts of corned beef.
Kate's choice contrasts with the last notable royal wedding, when the late Princess Diana walked up the aisle in a ghastly outfit made from spam.