Top 10 Reasons We Should Drill Numb Nuts Drill

Funny story: Top 10 Reasons We Should Drill Numb Nuts Drill

1. If you don't care how much it costs to fill up your tank, you are probably blond, rich or a tree hugger. If so, go on to next point. 2. If it doesn't bother you that the rag heads are laughing at us for not drilling, go to next point. 3. If you are concerned that a random Alaskan caribou has to detour a few miles to breed, your love life must suck. Please go to next point. 4.

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The Texas Comptroller's office unknowingly helps out identity thieves

Funny story: The Texas Comptroller's office unknowingly helps out identity thieves

Austin, Texas - It was recently discovered that Social Security numbers and other information of about 3.5 million people were placed on a public server for about a year. The Texas Comptroller's office was very surprised and angered when 12-year...

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Robert Pattinson Discovers Eigendecomposition

Funny story: Robert Pattinson Discovers Eigendecomposition

Twilight Saga sex-symbol Robert Pattinson was sitting at home the other day, in a reflective mood. This we have from the horse's mouth of no other horse than our old friend Bingo Cashcow Bimbomountain XIII. We say it is from the horse's mouth, and it may very well be. It certainly has more chance of being the original mouth of a horse than it has of being anything resembling an original body p...

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Illinois House And Gun Owner's Privacy Demonstrate Why Women Should Not Be In Politics

Funny story: Illinois House And Gun Owner's Privacy Demonstrate Why Women Should Not Be In Politics

Attorney General Lisa Madigan is a prime example as to why voters, both female and male, should not vote for women in political office after she tried to open up the files of gun owners to the public. Madigan said she felt stupid and contagious f...

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Osbourne uses example of Iggy Pop to defend cuts

Funny story: Osbourne uses example of Iggy Pop to defend cuts

George Osbourne has used the sad example of punk-rock god Iggy Pop in order to defend massive government cuts in public spending. Pop, a hugely sucessful singer/songwriter fell on hard times in the late noughties due to his irresponsible spending habits and penchant for gambling huges swathes of money on internet bumfights. 'Whilst I'm not the biggest fan of his "music" myself' Osbourne told...

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Detroit Man Revealed as Top Gear's New Stig

Funny story: Detroit Man Revealed as Top Gear's New Stig

Following all BBC Network protocols as well as a binding agreement with the Top Gear franchise not to reveal his identity, the new Stig, a regular test driver on the UK automobile enthusiast show, was shockingly confirmed to be from the Motor City.

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Prince William and Kate Middleton to visit Blackburn, Scotland next week, home of Susan Boyle; Susan's hoping to keep her loony fans 'at bay'

Funny story: Prince William and Kate Middleton to visit Blackburn, Scotland next week, home of Susan Boyle; Susan's hoping to keep her loony fans 'at bay'

Having recently received a warm but wet welcome on their visit to Blackburn, England earlier this week, Kate and Wills are going to be heading up to Scotland to visit Blackburn, home of Susan Boyle. Susan has invited them to her new home for a Sco...

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New Actor James Holzier is Becoming Quite The Popular Rising Star

Funny story: New Actor James Holzier is Becoming Quite The Popular Rising Star

Fandango.com called James Holzier one of the most popular male celebrities emerging. Along with; All Media Guide, All Movie Guide, Posh UK, and a host of celebrity news and entertainment sites. The popular up and comer has a slew of fans and a cul...

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A Collection of Clerical Capers

Funny story: A Collection of Clerical Capers

Quote from a recent meeting: "We are going to continue having these meetings, everyday, until I find out why no work is getting done." Quote from the Boss: "I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you." A motivational sign at work "The beatings will continue until morale improves." A direct quote from the Boss: "We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones...

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Dear Cashier: How Can This Bill Possibly Be Counterfeit?

Funny story: Dear Cashier: How Can This Bill Possibly Be Counterfeit?

Why is it when I pay for my tobacco and diapers with a $100 bill, the cashier looks at me like I just tried to pay her in wampum? "Hey, can I pay you in... beads? No? Well, I have some bricks of salt... Mmmmm, salt bricks." This is legal tender, dummy, and excuse me of I want to carry my cash in a denomination that can't be replicated with coins! And how could this bill possibly be counterfe...

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Ben 10 Tennyson Dead

Funny story: Ben 10 Tennyson Dead

It's been reported this morning that Ben Tennyson, the little-lad-sized children's superhero is dead. Or, at least, if he isn't dead, he was never alive. Tennyson, 10, and known as Ben, 10, after a clever and inspirational combinational reworki...

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Burka's and eating frogs legs in public banned in France!

Funny story: Burka's and eating frogs legs in public banned in France!

The French government are determined to ban Muslim women from wearing Burka's in public and have promised Muslims in return to also ban the eating of frogs legs in public! French Muslims feel that this new law is discriminating, but the French gov...

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Gay Man Fondles Cock On Bus

Funny story: Gay Man Fondles Cock On Bus

A passenger on a bus in Manchester has told of the moment he had his cock fondled on a bus by another passenger who turned out to be a rampant homosexualist. Tony Ringworm, 26, was travelling home from Manchester city centre towards his home in Ur...

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Drunken toddlers cause havoc in downtown Toronto restaurant - police called in

Funny story: Drunken toddlers cause havoc in downtown Toronto restaurant - police called in

Warning to all parents who regularly dine out with their young children at licenced restaurants. Please make sure you sample your child's juice before allowing them to drink it, if purchased on the premises, as there have been a number of 'mishaps' lately where children have been served mixed cocktails 'accidentally'. All restaurants have been ordered to store fruit juices in CLEARLY marked...

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Gordon Ramsay Processor Test Failure A "Fit-Up"

Funny story: Gordon Ramsay Processor Test Failure A "Fit-Up"

Accusations that a food processor bearing the Gordon Ramsay name is "crap" have been refuted by sources close to the fiery chef. Consumer magazine Whatever? tested 46 models and found the Ramsay mixer - costing £85 - scored the lowest. The chief c...

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'Brave' Kate Middleton only chucking up twice a day now

Funny story: 'Brave' Kate Middleton only chucking up twice a day now

London - Anorexic trainwreck Kate Middleton is following in Princess Diana's footsteps with a carefully choreographed decline in her daily vomiting regimen ahead of the Big Day. Royal wedding watch pals say the need to binge/purge only grabs her a...

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Saudi Arabia introduces beret ban

Funny story: Saudi Arabia introduces beret ban

Two Frenchmen were arrested today in Mecca, Saudi Arabia for wearing berets in a local park. The repressive religious Saudi regime recently introduced laws which forbid public displays of Frenchness. As well as the beret ban, it is also illegal to...

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Glenn Beck Beatles Revolution Parody (VIDEO)

As happy as many are to see Glenn Beck go, most humorist are also disappointed as they will have to find another wingnut for a source of political humor. To be sure though we have not heard the last of Glenn Beck. In looking for an appropriate way to send him off and going through audio from a few of his shows it became apparent that Glenn Beck has been singing his own version of the Beatle Revo...

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Even The Queen of England Is Shocked That Pia Toscano Was Eliminated From American Idol

Funny story: Even The Queen of England Is Shocked That Pia Toscano Was Eliminated From American Idol

LONDON - It is no secret around Buckingham Palace that Queen Elizabeth and her husband Prince Philip make it a point to always watch American Idol and Dancing With The Stars. Neville Twickenbuck, a reporter for The Tickety Boo News Agency stated that while both shows are being telecast the Royal couple has left strict instructions that they are not to be interrupted even if they get a call from...

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Tiger Woods Hires World Class Dominatrix To Whip His Swing Into Shape

Funny story: Tiger Woods Hires World Class Dominatrix To Whip His Swing Into Shape

Still licking his wounds after failing to win the 2011 Masters yesterday, Tiger reflected on why he hasn't won this tournament since 2006. While shooting a 31 on the front nine, and for a short time seeing his name on top of the leader board, he onc...

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WTF? Thompson/Venables cover-up dominates yet another Prime Monsterial agenda

Funny story: WTF? Thompson/Venables cover-up dominates yet another Prime Monsterial agenda

London - "Utter bollox!" is how sources close to the Cabinet Orifice described it today. The response comes as a conspiracy theory website threatens to publish DNA data 'that has held four consecutive British Prime Monsters to ransom'. Yeah, ri...

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President Obama Comes Out

In a hastily called press conference held this morning President Obama came out of the closet and admitted that he's Republican. "I can't fight it anymore. I've been covering up who I really am my whole political life," the President said. Th...

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Government Plans To Clone Dead Aliens

Funny story: Government Plans To Clone Dead Aliens

A Pentagon whistle-blower has revealed that the government are planning to clone alien life forms, using DNA samples from three dead aliens recovered from Roswell in 1946 and cryogenically preserved for decades. The whistle-blower explained that c...

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Hose of Representatives Typo Shuts Down Congress!

As talking heads pondered and the print media wondered, the legislation approving the budget was once more put in limbo yesterday. The reason was a typo by the Congressional printing office and no one knows if it was deliberate or accidental. The Republican caucus is not amused as all the documents for the legislation contained the words U.S. Hose of Representatives and not the U.S. House of Repre...

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Facebook's new server farm is to be put underwater

Funny story: Facebook's new server farm is to be put underwater

In an attempt to be as green as possible, Facebook are setting their new server farm, which will run the whole of Facebook, just off the coast of Peru under fifty feet of water. "We've been accused of being bad for the environment," said Mark Zuck...

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TV soap Emmerdale to include Gay Marriage storyline

Funny story: TV soap Emmerdale to include Gay Marriage storyline

In addition to Coronation Street and EastEnders a third British soap has now announced plans to include a gay marriage in a future storyline. ITV's Emmerdale intends to go one better by running a storyline where two gay sheepdogs fall in love and mar...

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First Bus and Trains to sponsor next Grand National

Funny story: First Bus and Trains to sponsor next Grand National

The First Bus and Trains group who er, run buses and trains have decided to sponsor the next Grand National at Aintree in Liverpool. Commenting on their decision, a director of the transport form said "they were sponsoring the next Grand National...

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Intelligent Design handbook

Funny story: Intelligent Design handbook

There are a number of points to remember when arguing the case for Intelligent Design. In the most cases you will be discussing ID with non-scientists. When discussing ID with anybody with even a rudimentary scientific background, remember that you will not be able to convince them that they are incorrect they are too indoctrinated by three hundred years of scientific advances. Instead remember th...

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MI5 to be Privatised

In a desperate attempt to reduce the deficit the Government is offering the MI5 to the highest bidder. In secret negotiations front runner Rupert Murdoch tried to set up a deal to be given a two for one offer: MI5 for him and MI6 for his son James...

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A Day In The Life of Czar Czar Jar Jar Binks

Funny story: A Day In The Life of Czar Czar Jar Jar Binks

We were fortunate enough to catch up with the Obama Administration's new Czar Czar recently and were able to spend a few minutes with him discussing his new job. Question:You are Czar Czar, Jar Jar Binks? Answer: Yousa Makesa itsa sound so sillyus. Meesa isa Czar Czar, Jar Jar Binks, Yesa! Question: And you are also the car czar? So that would make you...? Answer: Yesa, Mesa's full tit...

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PFA Nominations Announced

Funny story: PFA Nominations Announced

Gareth Bale and Samir Nasri are among the nominations for this year's Professional Footballers' Association awards. The Spurs and Arsenal midfielders are nominated in the PFA Player and Young Player categories. Welshman Bale has also been put forward for a new category - "The Player That Most Of His Colleagues Wished To Hell Was English". Meanwhile, Frenchman Nasri's name has been put in...

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Iceland Rejects Repayment Deal

Funny story: Iceland Rejects Repayment Deal

Iceland has rejected for a second time a proposal to repay the Netherlands and UK for losses incurred after the collapse of the country's banking system. The result means that the 2 governments are still £3.5 billion out of pocket after already re...

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Footballer Cleared Over Ferret Row

Funny story: Footballer Cleared Over Ferret Row

A young Dundee United player has been cleared of racially abusing a Stirling man during an incident involving a ferret. 18 year old Dale Hilson, currently on loan to Second Division Forfar Athletic, had been accused of "in concert with 2 other men...

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Police Target Metal Thieves

Funny story: Police Target Metal Thieves

Police forces across the country are gearing up to combat a major increase in thefts from heavy metal bands. Hot on the heels of thieves stealing guitars worth over £6,500 from a Led Zeppelin tribute band in Dundee, fans of the legendary Motorhead...

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Russell Brand Caught At Heathrow Airport With A Dozen Counterfeit Danish Girlie Magazines

Funny story: Russell Brand Caught At Heathrow Airport With A Dozen Counterfeit Danish Girlie Magazines

LONDON - Russell Brand who is still considered somewhat of a newlywed was detained at London's Heathrow Airport when airport security checked his luggage and found a dozen counterfeit Danish girlie magazines. At first Brand denied that the magazin...

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Pia Toscano Finally Speaks Out And Blames The American Idol Judges For Her Elimination From American Idol

Funny story: Pia Toscano Finally Speaks Out And Blames The American Idol Judges For Her Elimination From American Idol

LOS ANGELES - Pia Toscano who was the odds on favorite to win this years edition of American Idol and who surprisingly got eliminated on last weeks show has finally spoken out. Toscano had refused to make any comments and would merely smile her lo...

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Radioactive water being sent to Midoriyam

Funny story: Radioactive water being sent to Midoriyam

Mount Midoriyam Japan - The Nimca Worrier studio set is being spiced up with even more dangerous obstacles, from the tsunami. Long time all-star Nimca Worrier, Mr. Nimca Worrier, our source, has the inside information on the new obstacles. The c...

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FOX News Explains Why They Finally Had To Cancel 'The Glenn Beck Show'

Funny story: FOX News Explains Why They Finally Had To Cancel 'The Glenn Beck Show'

NEW YORK CITY - After months of speculation and rampant innuendo FOX News has finally announced why they have decided to cancel The Glenn Beck Show. Maxwell F. Woodpracket, spokesperson for FN said that contrary to what many members of the news me...

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'Radiation ready' soy seed available from Monasso

Funny story: 'Radiation ready' soy seed available from Monasso

Iowa - Speaking at the Ottumwa Grange, the President of Monasso, in one of his 'slumming' ventures to 'get his hands dirty' with the farmers, announced to a crowd packed with international reporters a stunning new development in soy seed. Of course...

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New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Denies He's Gay

Funny story: New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Denies He's Gay

A new study suggests that one in thirty people in the United States is gay. That's 8,707,739 or roughly the entire population of New Jersey. New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, denies he's gay. Okay. So make that 8,707,738, but still...That's a lot...

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Shropshire Police Chief Criminalises The Drawing Of Spliffs

Funny story: Shropshire Police Chief Criminalises The Drawing Of Spliffs

In the struggle to have their staff named "most obnoxiously meddling British police department", Police chiefs have resorted to some pretty lowdown tactics. There have been many instances of police being forced to focus their precious time on prosecu...

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