Kate Middleton orthodontist in Grand National glory bid

Funny story written by queen mudder

Friday, 8 April 2011

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Whorse & Hound editor Bunty Ruffcock reckons Waley-Cohen's a dead ringer for John Torode

Liverpool - The man who's reshaped the gnashers of hundreds of Z-listers - including anorexic trainwreck Kate Middleton - is set to make history at Aintree on Saturday.

Sam Waley-Cohen rides 12-1 shot Oscar Time in the Grand National, the first amateur in 50 years to win both the King George and Cheltenham Gold Cup ahead of steeplechasing's coronation bid.

"He's a bit facially handicapped, like," Whorse & Hound editor Bunty Ruffcock commented, "a bit of a dead ringer for Masterchef's John Torode.

"Still, that thin veneer of respectability - er dental veneer implants procedure! - he did on Carole Middleton's own gob certainly worked.

"You'd never know she's still a whorse, eh?"

Waley-Cohen's fledgeling dental empire began in 2001 when Sir Alex Ferguson approached him about straightening out Rock of Gibraltar's lopsided smile.

The colt subsequently won seven consecutive Group One races - all thanks to the winning chompers installed by Waley-Cohen.

The same dental reconstruction formula may have helped Kate Middleton bag her man - even though it meant William losing 80% of his hair in fright at the prospect of the new mother-in-law.

The big race kicks off at 4.15 on Saturday.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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