Nicolas Sarcozy turns down the Queen's Friend Request
Diplomatic tension between Britain and France has increased after it was revealed that Nicolas Sarcozy, the President of France has declined Queen Elizabeth's friend request on Facebook. Elizabeth the Second, or Lizzy2 as she is known on Facebook...
Read full story1-7 Dallas Cowboys Admit 'Don't Ask Don't Tell" Doesn't work In NFL!
Head F******g know it all Jerry Jones, Owner, CEO, General Manager, Head Coach, Offensive Coordinator and Locker Room Attendant has finally thrown in the towel on wishy-washy head coach Wade Philips, firing him today. The formerly hard charging Co...
Read full storyTwo out Five American Drivers Nod off While Driving Because of Boring Cell Phone Conversations
Washington--AAA's new study points out that most American driver's nod off while driving because of boring cell phone conversations. The study also pointed out that driving while nodding off is the same as being legal drunk. "I feel guilty abo...
Read full storyNoonan calls Palin a "Nincompoop"
Washington--Sarah Palin likes to think that being on a reality show makes her a great presidential candidate. She even went as far as claiming that Reagan was an actor. But, Peggy Noonan doesn't believe that Palin is very intelligent for saying...
Read full storyPM Wortham, Private Dick
It was nine P.M. on a dark and stormy Wednesday night. I remembered that because it was raining at night, in the middle of the week. I had just polished off a long neck when there came a knock on my door, or maybe there were three. It took a minute for me to wipe myself off and put the long neck back in my pants. I had lost count of the knocks. She stood in the open doorway with a couple...
Read full storyEva Longoria-Parker Hosted The MTV-EMA's And Stated That Lady Gaga Has Some Mighty Big Tata's
MADRID - Eva Longoria-Parker, one of the stars of Desperate Housewives, was the host of The MTV Europe Music Awards Show which was held at La Caja Magica (The Magic Box). Eva, who made a record breaking 13 costume changes during the show, stated t...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Tells Church Pastor Her Boobs Are Too Small!
A story going around Nashville, Tennessee is that the popular singer Taylor Swift has informed her pastor all her concerns about her boobs being too small. A source told us that Swift has been self-conscious about her small boobs so she decided to...
Read full storyTiger Woods: Have You Driven A Dong Lately?
Even though Tiger Woods lost still another golf tournament over the weekend in Shanghai, he may have picked up a whole new group of sponsors. "Yes, they are offering me millions to advertise their products coming to the United States soon and some...
Read full storyObama admits, "I am a Keynesian", proving he was born in Keynesia
In a rare, unguarded moment, US President Barack Obama told reporters, "I consider my fiscal strategies to be flexible and pragmatic. But if you must label my economic philosophy, I suppose you could say that I am a Keynesian. Though many had sus...
Read full storyUnemployed US fat and lazy Grizzly Bears only want a piece of the "human cake" too!
Humans living near grizzly bear habitats are becoming very worried about the latest generations of grizzlies to appear, apparently they are becoming horrendously overweight, obese, lazy, unemployed scavengers. (similar to many US people) Once upon...
Read full storyBig Bang for Alice
Alice, the name given to the Large Hadron Collinder in Geneva which is probing the nature of matter, has been creating mini Big Bangs resulting in temperatures a million times higher than those at the centre of the sun. 'That is HOT' said Professo...
Read full storyFA Calls Time On Football Clichés
It's a game of two halves, or maybe not. The Football Association has decided to call time on, inarticulate managers, players and pundits who trot out the same tired clichés during post match interviews. The FA has now released a list of clichés...
Read full storyExclusive Interview with Star!
Today's interview is with pop sensation, James Gordon. Inhopeless: So, its nice to have you here, James. James Gordon: Yeah, it's nice to see the press still have an interest in me. I: Yes, there are some people *SNEEZES* who still care about you. J: That's great. I: How do you feel about getting number one on the Billboard Hot 100? J: It's great, I'm number one! I: <whispe...
Read full storyRonaldo may be a star "diver" but he sure aint no drunken Hollywood "Disco Queen"!
Cristiano Ronaldo has won his libel suit against the Daily Telegraph who claimed that whilst injured and playing for Manchester United, he flew off to Hollwood, went clubbing, spent $10.000 big ones on champagne, four gorgeous models and then was sup...
Read full storyNew Call Of Duty Video Game to Feature Even More Realism In Game
LOS ANGELES - Actisoft-Blizzard games, makers of the popular Call of Duty games, have announced plans to release a new CoD game, ready for next Christmas. Already blogs and user boards are alive with the buzz about Black Ops, now they have even more...
Read full storyEconomically Lagging U.S. Still Leads World In Number of Gay-Ass Bakeries
The Department of Commerce and Department of Labor jointly reported today that while the U.S. may no longer be the world's preeminent industrial superpower it still continues to outpace the world in its number of gay-ass bakeries. The number of gay-a...
Read full storyLet's mount another Orkneys-style satanic ritual abuse scam Pope tells Consistory
Vatican - (Devlish Ass Mess): The resurgence of the 1900s scam will be good for business, cardinals were told today at the hastily convened Consistory meeting. Billed by Pope Benedick as a day of deflection and cunning the meet-up includes chit-ch...
Read full storyBush Given Heavy Irony Award for Palin Remark
Former President George W. Bush was given the coveted Heavy Irony Award today for telling friends that Sarah Palin is "unqualified" to be President. Asked to explain the decision, irony expert John Dillard Sincere said, "Isn't it obvious?...
Read full storyMissing Russian sub surfaces in Princess Diana Memorial Fountain
London - (Hunt-4-Dread-October Mess): It was last spotted listing to aft during the mating season in Loch Ness' murky waters, leeching power from indigenous electric eels. This afternoon the missing: presumed toast Akula-class submersible sprang...
Read full storyJedward go to the movies!
I can confirm rumours today that John and Edward Grimes are to go into movies and have won the title roles in a remake of the movie Dumb and Dumber. "We start filming next week in Ireland" a movie source said "We have to iron out a few prob...
Read full storyNew Revelations
Golden tablets were recently unearthed in Jeruselum, that, when translated, shocked Dr. Omar Majawahar, Dean of Antiquities at the Universidad de Jandahar in Mecca. Shawn Dibble, graduate student at the Universidad, from Piqua, Ohio, was digging a...
Read full storyGoodbye Jack Duckworth - A Nation In Mourning
Monday. UK. What we have here is a nation in mourning as one of soapland's finest sadly shuffles off this mortal coil, assisted in his passage through to the hereafter by our Vera. The nation has loved Jack for thirty years - we've laughed with hi...
Read full story'Tea Party' Targets UK
After some success in the mid-term US elections, the 'Tea Party' is establishing an English branch to counter the threat of "Commie bastards" in the public sector, trade unions and the BBC. Reflecting the different cultural ideals of the British I...
Read full storyCBS' 'The Talk' Repels Viewers Like Oprah In A Thong.
CBS, who took the bold step of trying to recreate The View for people even stupider than Elizabeth Hasselback, if such a person could exist, has found 'The Talk' is ratings-Kryptonite, driving away viewers in droves. As first revealed on Thespoof,...
Read full storyAnglican bishops join Catholic Church saying the 'furgling' is better
Five bishops are to join the Roman Catholic Church under a Vatican scheme intended to provide a welcome for sexually disaffected Anglicans. The move involves three serving bishops and two retarded bishops, who say they are 'trading faiths' because...
Read full storyThe Green Bay Packers Clobber The Dallas Cowboys 45-7: Jerry Jones Says He May Put The Team Up For Sale On eBay
GREEN BAY - Jerry Jones sat in his executive's box at Lambeau Field and during the course of the game an inside source said that he shook his head dejectedly a total of 293 times during one of the most lopsided losses in Cowboy history. Jones, who...
Read full storyX-Factor - Katie Waissel Sing Off Meltdown Explained
The X-Factor, Sunday evening. The vote off. Cue intensity and high drama. Cue also what has since been described as the biggest fix since the Zimbabwean general election. Incredibly (although not to Skoob Entertainment News - we said this would ha...
Read full storyObama to Star in Namby-Pamby Commercial #2
There aren't many people who haven't seen the Geico commercial featuring the therapist sergeant who belittles a patient on his couch for feeling sad. Well, the folks at Geico have decided to take advantage of President Obama's penchant for appearing...
Read full storyIsle of Wight News - Terry Wogan to switch on Christmas Lights
It is the big Christmas Light switch on in Newport this weekend, and the Council have managed to get Sir Terry Wogan, 71, to press the button, illuminating the pedestrianised areas of Newport shopping centre. Over a thousand bulbs have been installed...
Read full storyGovernment to encrypt reflections across transport network
A mirror wielding Al-Qaeda spy cell in operation across the British Transport network has lead the Government to request all reflections from windows are encrypted to prevent sensitive data being intercepted. The cell targets travelling MP's and M...
Read full storyAre Scientologists behind Lords £22 billion slush fund scam?
London - (Xenuphobic Mess): New suspects have emerged in what has been billed as an uncanny twist on the classic Nigerian money laundering email scam. The multi-billion pound offer to dosh up UK plc with £22 billion of mystery Foundation funds got...
Read full storyKeith Olbermann's Demands Met: Can Now Use Woman's Restroom
MSNBC's sneering Conservative hater, Keith Olberwomann, is demanding that MSNBC executives apologize to him for violating his Wurst Amendment rights. Last week he(she) was suspended from his broadcast position after it was found that he donated...
Read full storyBelow Decks Chapter 26: Gunga Din Reports in on the Pissgums!
As I sit at my beach side table here on the sand of the Virgins, back to the coconut palms, facing the gently lapping sea watching the sun set on yet another day on what used to be HM's Realm, nostalgia overwhelms me as I review Birbee's tale of Riches earned from Religion, and his ultimate fate of being laid low by an ungrateful WAG. Ah Birbee. First to discover the internet and make it pay.
Read full storyCyndi Lauper Claims Not Having Money Changes Everything Too
Thank goodness for the kind nature of good-intentioned celebrities without whom we would be wandering in a sea of confusion. Cyndi Lauper is one of the rare celebrities who tells it like it is. Her hit single "Money Changes Everything" was about how...
Read full storyCowell declared winner in history-rewriting contest
X-Factor supremo Simon Cowell has already changed the face of popular music with his hugely successful TV shows. After thrusting such luminaries as Gareth Gates and Susan Boyle onto the international stage, the shiny-toothed impresario might have bee...
Read full storyWriting Spoof news stories about X-Factor more addictive than crack
A new study conducted in the UK, says writing 'piss-take' news stories about abysmal TV shows like the X-Factor is more dangerous than drugs like heroin, cocaine, etc. The report says that even higher up the 'gonna fuck you up scale' than alcohol...
Read full storyStuxnet sonar horror blamed for death of 33 pilot whales
Rutland Island, Burtonport - (Malware): The cybervirus that sank HMS Preposterous the other week has now claimed another scalp - 33 pilot whale nursing mothers and their young. Their lifeless corpses were washed ashore off the Scottish coast this...
Read full storyQueenie on Facebook: I'm already on says Mudder
Amidst reports that the Queen is using Facebook, Satirical Writer Queen Mudder recently revealed she's been using it for seven years. Top writer Mudder was annoyed that the news was only just coming out, revealing "That bloody hypocrite's lying. I...
Read full storyX Factor Indecision - UN Called In!
UN peacekeepers are to be called in to smooth over the row brewing at the X Factor following judge Cheryl Cole's indecision at the weekend. After a nail-biting sing-off, Cheryl refused to vote against Treyc or Katie Waissel causing a storm of comp...
Read full storyPastor Terry Jones is hiding in cave
Pastor Terry Jones is hiding in a cave according to the FBI. Ever since Terry Jones was fined $180000 for security costs surrounding his controversial threat to burn the Quran, its left Terry Jones without a penny. The Pastor is thought to be h...
Read full storyA Masterchev Guide to: Universities
Yes it's that time of the year when students (such as yours trully) are desperately searching for a University to take them on. And whilst Uni life won't whisk away this satirical writer, here's three universities you should probably avoid going to. Two are fictional. One isn't. Can you guess which? 1) The Tescos University of Northampton. Guaranteed great budget cut degrees or your money back.
Read full storyPutt-Putt Golf Course Found on Moon
NASA - Images from the Cassini spacecraft of Saturn's moon Titan has researchers scratching their heads. Using enhanced radar imaging, a Putt-Putt golf course was discovered near the larger of the three lakes near Titan's South pole. "The lakes w...
Read full storyElectrical Brainbox shock toys to be in stores for Christmas.
Following on from news that applying electricity to the brain enhances a person's mathematical performance, as reported by a team of researchers from the University of Oxford; a Chinese toy company has come up with a 'home use' device for doing just...
Read full storyMatt Cardle - Secret X Factor Heartbreak
When Matt Cardle gave his tearful rendition of The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face no-one was aware of the meaning the song held for him. But after the performance was screened a friend told the secret behind Matt's tears. "Matt's been doing a...
Read full storyMexican Gangs Kill Americans, Misunderstanding Obama's "Punish Enemies" Remark
EL PASO, TEXAS - The unintended consequences of Obama's "punish our enemies" remark to Hispanics may be the murder of five Americans in Mexico in the course of a week. Journalists familiar with Mexican drug cartels and human trafficking on the border...
Read full storyNew Hitler Document Found!
A new document entitled "The Life of a Hypocrite" has just been discovered. The autobiography, which was hidden underground in one of Hitler's palaces gives historians new information and leads us at ExtraNewNews to question his psyche. In chap...
Read full storySpider-Man's Broadway Musical Delayed, Co-stars Furious
"Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark," which had been slated to open on Broadway on Dec. 21, now will not open until January. Investigative reporting at The Spoof reveals that Spider-Man's co-stars lay the blame for the delays squarely on the star of...
Read full storyRepublicans Just Kidding About Massive Changes
In a surprising Washington rally this morning, Republican leaders announced they were just kidding when they promised to bring sweeping changes to the United States. They spoke to thousands of supporters who turned out for the event. Representat...
Read full storyAll In/All Out: Anything But Another Typical Stiff At The Playboy Mansion
LOS ANGELES - LAPD units responding to a 911 call from the famed Playboy Mansion in LA's perpetual ritz-proof conclave of Holmby Hills, were greeted with more than their usual customary brand of semi-gruesome stiff-on-the-scene discovery when they a…
Read full storyFootball Officials on Trial
A class-action lawsuit has been filed against all football officials since 1932. After so many calls are being reversed with the use of the 'Instant replay," the lawfirm of Dewey, Cheatem and Howe has instigated the action. They have contracted wi...
Read full storyStreetwise on the X Factor
It is reported that Chezza jetted off to LA, left her mentored girls on their own and came back to the UK much richer. Simon called her L..A..Z..Y. Chezza took umbrage and decided not to send anyone home following the sing off. "Ah'm too big fo...
Read full storyIs World Ready For Adam Lambert/Lady Gaga Baby?
Whether the world is ready or not, the two stars have done their part and now it's up to the people who run the laboratory in Oakland, California. Speaking for the Parenthood Nature Center, Dr. Alan Deweece told reporters this morning that Adam La...
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