Nurse Wins 'Outstanding Murder Of A Burden To Society' by the National Health

Funny story: Nurse Wins 'Outstanding Murder Of A Burden To Society' by the National Health

The National Health Service, the UK's way of sliding communism in under the noses of the Western world, has awarded Nurse Bernadetta Akwward the 'Meredith Francis Maguire / Bobby Sands Memorial Award for Outstanding Murder of a Burden To Society'.

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Miley Cyrus: Justin Bieber Is Coming Over!

Funny story: Miley Cyrus: Justin Bieber Is Coming Over!

After the recent split up of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, Miley has already stated that she would like to hook-up with singer, Justin Bieber. "I know Justin is willing to give us a try and I believe we can make it work. We're closer in age than...

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It's not only unfair, it's Workfair

We are all in this together. This is all about fairness. It's a Dad's Army, Heath Robinson, approach that is condemned to create a disaster. It is reported that Eric (cow eating Desperate Dan double)Pickles is actively encouraging whistle blowers...

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Isle of Wight News - Ventnor Woman Drops a Plate

Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Ventnor Woman Drops a Plate

Marjorie Stevens 67, of 10 Bettsworth Crescent, is reported to have dropped a plate yesterday. "It was everyday, not Royal Doulton, hardly news really." "I don't see what all the fuss is about, it was just a plate, now it's broken to bits, I suppose you could blame the hardwood floor if you wanted to but I'm just as well to blame, carelessness is what caused it, carelessness." "I was putt...

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Manchester United's Chicharito Says That X-Factor Is His Favorite Show

Funny story: Manchester United's Chicharito Says That X-Factor Is His Favorite Show

LONDON - Manchester United's Chicharito, whose real name is Javier Hernandez Balcazar, told a reporter for The Manchester Morning Manc that he loves watching the English singing competition show, X-Factor. Chicharito, who is from Guadalajara, Mexi...

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Single House Blown Down in Freak Hurricane in Downing Sreet

Funny story: Single House Blown Down in Freak Hurricane in Downing Sreet

LONDON - David Cameron, a public sector worker, was evicted by his home by Mother Nature. He had lived in the building since June with his wife and kids. "It's terrible!" he proclaims. "How on earth could this happen? You know, they say you're...

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Future News: Archealogists Discover Relics Dating to Digital Age

Funny story: Future News: Archealogists Discover Relics Dating to Digital Age

This story will be published in 2136 (Digital Age date format) - BIRMINGHAM, EMPIRE OF C4M3R0N (former UK) - Archealogists from the Univeristy of Birmingham have discovered the entertainment habits of early 21st century peoples, known as Britons.

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Queenie uses Facebook

The Queen of England will be using Facebook, as of Monday. The Queen will start a marathon 24 hour Facebook fest accepting requests from the general public. Her first moves? Continuously poking David Cameron until he gives her a new corgi. The Que...

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Must Buy Stock Portfolio

SNJ (Susan Niels James) UP 2% - Interest went up from male traders after willing to re-merger, due to the break-up with JJ (Jock Johnson) NWS (Rupert Murdoch's News Corp.) Up 20% - The Sun tabloid in Britain and the FOX News network in America decided to report real news instead of Onion rip-offs APPL (Apple, Inc.) Down 57% - John from Accounting keeps going on about his iPad, Pod, Phone, Ma...

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Coalition of Music Industry To Plug Music Revenue with Lawsuits

Funny story: Coalition of Music Industry To Plug Music Revenue with Lawsuits

LONDON, NEW YORK, LOS ANGELES - The big four global music industry players, have decided to plug their gaps in music sales by suing even more people. Revenue has been steady, however, an increase in average internet download speeds, means that man...

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Westmid Situation over Land Getting Worse

BIRMINGHAM - a situations has occurred in the Digbeth sector, where two roommates are fighting over shared land. Sam has been receiving aid from local ally, Mick. "It's been a pretty bad time," he said. "I heard about this conflict about livin...

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Galactic Alliance Horrified at Earth Depictions of Outer-Spacians

PLANET EARTH, DELTA-SECTOR, 236th GALACTIC DISTRICT, MILKY WAY - The rest of the universe united against the Earth's depictions of extra-terrestrial life, today, At a press conference hosted on every single screen and audio device on Earth, in ev...

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Experts confirm "lembit opik" species facing extinction after last surviving member ponders survivalist challenge

Funny story: Experts confirm "lembit opik" species facing extinction after last surviving member ponders survivalist challenge

LONDON, UK: At a Human Survival conference held here yesterday, anthropologists and paleontologists alike confirmed the potential extinction of yet another species. Despite a rare sighting of possibly the last surviving member of the tribe, experts...

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Miley & Liam Make It A Daily Double On Cyrus Split-Ups

Funny story: Miley & Liam Make It A Daily Double On Cyrus Split-Ups

After a bitter battle between Miley's dad, Billy Ray and her mother, Tish , Miley made it a complete home shake-up by splitting with her lover, Liam Hemsworth. So Miley is a single once again, only she has never yet been married. What a lovely...

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Barack Obama's curry house catastrophe

Funny story: Barack Obama's curry house catastrophe

A major international row broke out today between the US, Britain and India following the undignified events that took place in an Indian restaurant last night. It has emerged that prior to the President's state visit to India, he was briefed on t...

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Johnny Depp's Girlfriend Causes His Nude Shower Scene With Angelina Jolie To Be Cut From The Movie "The Tourist"

Funny story: Johnny Depp's Girlfriend Causes His Nude Shower Scene With Angelina Jolie To Be Cut From The Movie "The Tourist"

HOLLYWOOD - The producers for the new Johnny Depp - Angelina Jolie crime sexcapade drama motion picture, The Tourist, have reportedly given in to the wishes of Depp's longtime girlfriend, Vanessa Paradis, and have cut out a naked shower scene between...

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Arizona Hires Swedish Immigrant Killer To Guard Mexican Border

Funny story: Arizona Hires Swedish Immigrant Killer To Guard Mexican Border

The State of Arizona, whose state motto is "Cinco De Drinko Is Cancelled, Wetbacks!", has hired the 38-year-old Swedish man suspected in a series of shootings targeting immigrants. "Derr manna eesa arrsteed forda moodering und ammentemmpted moorde...

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Dallas Cowboys Brings "First Overall Pick In 2011 Draft" Tour To Green Bay

Funny story: Dallas Cowboys Brings "First Overall Pick In 2011 Draft" Tour To Green Bay

Dallas head coach Wade Phillips, who is packing the contents of his office into empty copy paper boxes as this is written, will bring his 1-6 Cowboys to Green Bay, where they will lose to the Packers this Sunday night, on what the team has designated...

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Kim Kardashian Explains Why She Has Gained So Much Weight Lately

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Explains Why She Has Gained So Much Weight Lately

BEVERLY HILLS - Kim Kardashian, one-third of the famed Kardashian sisters, was asked by a reporter for National Geographic why it is that her weight has ballooned upwards in just the past few weeks. Kardashian, who was shopping at the 'big gal' se...

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Queen joins cyberarseholes on Faecesbook

Funny story: Queen joins cyberarseholes on Faecesbook

Cyberspace - (The Final Affroniere): Struggling hasbeen and octogenarian self-publicist to the Illuminati Elizabeth Vagina has cracked. The lure of social nitworking site Faecesbook has finally grasped her in its clutches - for a reported $5 milli...

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Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

Funny story: Advert: Tesbury's Massive Bread Sale Starts Sunday

NOW WITH EVERYTHING DOWN IN PRICE, there has never been a better time to buy a loaf of bread. LOOK! 3 wholemeal loaves down from £2.55 to £1.99 - Yes one-nine-nine!and look at these stylish floured baps -Now just £2.50 a dozenor what about our designer hamburger buns - Only 65p a pack If you thought that you could never afford the luxury of a medium sliced white loaf then think again. Our st...

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X-Factor - "American Anthems My Arse!" - Local Man Fumes

Funny story: X-Factor - "American Anthems My Arse!" - Local Man Fumes

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a pork pie hat wearing ignoramus for the most part was left hopping mad Saturday as he settled down with long suffering wife, Anne, and a case of yellow Belgian lemonade to watch the live X-Factor show. With a theme...

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Work Shy Threats

Funny story: Work Shy Threats

Tories have always had an understanding of being work shy. It is thought this could be because so many of them have experienced this pattern of behaviour. Now unemployed people who have been out of work a long time and haven't taken a job offered...

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Boyo Bales and Widicombe are an item?

Funny story: Boyo Bales and Widicombe are an item?

One of Soccer's rising star and one of politics's heavier heavyweight meet and it looks like a lurv match. Despite scoring a hat-trick against European champions Inta Harry "the spiv " Rednapp claims the welsh wizard is not yet the finished produ...

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Obama to sign Crap-and-Save Bill

Funny story: Obama to sign Crap-and-Save Bill

Washington, DC -- In a display of bipartisanship, Democrats and Republicans hammered out a compromise of the Crap-and-Save Bill, part of the Troubling Asses Relief Program (TARP). "This would have been impossible prior to the mid-term elections," sai...

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Fro Yo: Better Than S*x

Funny story: Fro Yo: Better Than S*x

A new brand of fro yo is hitting the market and you have got to try this one 'cause its customers say, "It's better than s*x! Yeah." Lindy Cullman, a former prostitute at the bar Robin Louis and one of the store's most loyal customers says "I rea...

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Katie Waissel And Cher Lloyd To Have X-Factor Wagner's Face Tattooed On Their Arses

Funny story: Katie Waissel And Cher Lloyd To Have X-Factor Wagner's Face Tattooed On Their Arses

Sources close to the X-Factor (some bloke who lives a few houses down from the contestant's house) have told SEN that divas Cher Lloyd and Katie Waissel are planning to have likenesses of X-Factor favourite Wagner Carillho in his Elvis jumpsuit, comp...

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Project Natal: Better Than Exercise!

Funny story: Project Natal: Better Than Exercise!

You've heard the news, "Project Natal is better than EXERCISE!" says Frank Jones, otherwise formerly known as Frankie Joe Fat A**. One of the best gamers in the world, Frankie Joe commented on the way Project Natal turned his life around. "I...

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Taylor Lautner Decks Robert Pattinson!

Funny story: Taylor Lautner Decks Robert Pattinson!

A smoldering argument between Taylor Lautner came to a head yesterday when Robert Pattinson gave Taylor Lautner a chest bump and got decked for his trouble! (See 'Kristen Stewart Tells Taylor Lautner Her Sexual Fantasies') What has happened to...

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Prince Andrew in projectile dysfunction claim

Funny story: Prince Andrew in projectile dysfunction claim

Prince Andrew has described the Ministry of Defence as "hopeless" for not buying better armoured vehicles like the British-built 'Rangers', which resist blasts up to three times more effectively than vehicles currently in operation, which appear to b...

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Megan Fox: An Affair with Justin Bieber?!

Yes. The newlywed Megan Fox, has confessed she has an affair with teen pop singing sensation, Justin Bieber. "Yeah, I was like at this bar, and I saw Justin just suddenly come in, and I started to flirt, so we took it to my car, and had a little fun...

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Barack Obama endorses skin whitening product!

Thank the racists for still using the term BLACK! President Barack Obama has recently signed a contract with a Philippine skin care brand into endorsing their skin whitening line. "We are so very lucky to have our first major politician to end...

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X-Factor's Liam Should Dump One Direction Says SEN's Buffty Ginslinger

Funny story: X-Factor's Liam Should Dump One Direction Says SEN's Buffty Ginslinger

Skoob Entertainment News supremo Buffty Ginslinger was in no mood for taking prisoners this morning as he reported on last night's X-Factor proceedings. Speaking from a park bench in Golden Square in the heart of London's Soho district, a hungover...

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X-factor Aiden Grimshaw's message from Angry Michael Jackson

Funny story: X-factor Aiden Grimshaw's message from Angry Michael Jackson

Aiden Grimshaw is in fear for his life today after it emerged last night that a famous London Psychic has received an angry message from Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson sent the message after watching Aiden murder one of his songs on last weeks...

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X-Factor's Wagner "Better Than Elvis" Claims Katie Waissel

Funny story: X-Factor's Wagner "Better Than Elvis" Claims Katie Waissel

Although most people tend to agree that his singing is as flat as a witch's tit, and that if reports are to be believed, his behaviour leaves much to be desired, Wagner once more survives the X-Factor vote off. Sources insist that at least fellow...

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Bollox choreography as Felicity Kendall does the Paso Doble

Funny story: Bollox choreography as Felicity Kendall does the Paso Doble

Blackpool - (Blast Tango In Paris): The 64-year old OAP's Saturday night rendition of the Spanish bullfighter's march was crap. Terrible timing, jerky movements and a gaunt facial expression suggesting something nasty gestating down her larynx sa...

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Bio-Scientists say no to viagra and recommend buying young pussies instead and for ageing women, holidays in Kenya?

Funny story: Bio-Scientists say no to viagra and recommend buying young pussies instead and for ageing women, holidays in Kenya?

Bio-Scientists have gathered in Oslo (very Nobel) hoping to find a "natural" way of helping the growing ageing community to ensure their sex lives remain active and reduce the amount of chemical intake. According to the research, aging men should...

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Popular write-in candidate Donald Fauntleroy Duck finally wins election

Funny story: Popular write-in candidate Donald Fauntleroy Duck finally wins election

Drowned out by all the media hoopla surrounding the Tea Party victories, is the fact that Donald Duck actually won many of the races. Election officials in several states have confirmed that this is indeed the case. However, since the results w...

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'er Maj fined for fare evasion.

Funny story: 'er Maj fined for fare evasion.

Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II may have used a public service train to get to Portsmouth this weekend to see her little metal lover Lord Ark Royal of The Solent; but she was in for a shock when returning after a royal faux pas by one of the ro...

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Unemployment to be made illegal.

Funny story: Unemployment to be made illegal.

Benefit claimants could be sent to jail under new Government proposals. Long-term dole claimants thought to be work-shy or dishonest claimants will be targeted in particular, as a prelude to an 'ethnic cleansing' type plan that will enable those...

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San Francisco Bans Toys in Happy Meals, Encourages Drug Use, and Same-Sex Relations

Funny story: San Francisco Bans Toys in Happy Meals, Encourages Drug Use, and Same-Sex Relations

San Francisco is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. And whether you want a night of rough trade with a pretty young boy, or $40.00 worth of wobbly pills to make the night go better, San Francisco has it. Just don't try to order a Happy...

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Marine General Amos Claims a Ban on Homos With Rifles Necessary To Win War Against Terror.

Funny story: Marine General Amos Claims a Ban on Homos With Rifles Necessary To Win War Against Terror.

Ensuring that he'll never again get a second bag of pretzels on a US Air flight, the new commandant of the U.S. Marine Corps has alienated every homosexual in the universe by saying that the don't ask, don't tell policy barring gays from serving open...

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Idiot Returns $23,000 in Found Cash, Jewels.

Funny story: Idiot Returns $23,000 in Found Cash, Jewels.

New Jerseyans are scratching their heads over the story about two idiots; a woman who lost a backpack full of cash and jewels, and the moron who found and returned it. Joseph Monto, a 33-year-old mechanic and certified dumbass, spotted a backpack...

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A pound an hour to shovel shit

Funny story: A pound an hour to shovel shit

In its latest crackdown on the workshy, the UK government is planning compulsory 'community work placements', paid at a pound an hour. Under these plans, the long term unemployed, and those deemed to have sabotaged all efforts to find them work,...

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Trains And Boats And Planes By Martin Shuttlecock

Funny story: Trains And Boats And Planes By Martin Shuttlecock

TRAINS I love trains. I've caught loads of them in my time. Been around them a lot. See, my dad was a railway engineer, who didn't spend much time at home because he preferred trains. They were his life, trains. As he worked on the railways, I used to go and meet him at his work sometimes. Take my mates with me and we'd play on the trains until he knocked off for the day. Steam trains the...

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Emma Watson To Gig With Taylor Momsen And The Pretty Reckless?

Funny story: Emma Watson To Gig With Taylor Momsen And The Pretty Reckless?

Seems like Parisienne born Brit actress Emma Watson has finally tired of being Hermione Granger out of the Harry Potter films and wants to grow up and live a little. Currently studying in the USA where she's apparently been asked out on dates by l...

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"Nutcracker Lady" Arlene Wagner is Conan's First Guest: BTW, Spoiler Alert.

Funny story: "Nutcracker Lady" Arlene Wagner is Conan's First Guest: BTW, Spoiler Alert.

For the 24 people who are actually excited about Conan O'Brien's new show on a major network -- Oh, I'm sorry, Conan is persona non grata on broadcast TV-- sources have stated that Conan is bringing on the heavy-hitters to launch the new show. Th...

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Glenn Beck Angry Key Republicans Willing to Work with Obama

Funny story: Glenn Beck Angry Key Republicans Willing to Work with Obama

Key Republicans, John Boehner and Senate Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell, have each issued statements that they are considering working alongside President Obama if it means making the country stronger. They want to work on reducing federal spending...

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X-Factor's Wagner Threatened To Head-Butt Harry Out Of One Direction

Funny story: X-Factor's Wagner Threatened To Head-Butt Harry Out Of One Direction

It's come to the attention of Skoob Entertainment News that chunky non-football playing Brazilian X-Factor hopeful, Wagner Carrilho threatened to head butt Harry Styles out of One Direction in an argument in the X-Factor house over a washing machine.

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