Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 8 November 2010

image for Eva Longoria-Parker Hosted The MTV-EMA's And Stated That Lady Gaga Has Some Mighty Big Tata's
Eva Longoria-Parker relaxing in her hotel room after the MTV-EMA's. (Photo courtesy of Lady Gaga).

MADRID - Eva Longoria-Parker, one of the stars of Desperate Housewives, was the host of The MTV Europe Music Awards Show which was held at La Caja Magica (The Magic Box).

Eva, who made a record breaking 13 costume changes during the show, stated that she loved being in Madrid and that it reminded her a lot of San Antonio, where she lives, except for the Spurs basketball team, the Alamo, and the countless Taco Cabana's which are found on every corner in San Antonio.

One of the outfits that Longoria-Parker wore was a giant ham, which she did to poke fun at the meat dress that Lady Gaga recently wore.

Eva later also wore a giant taco dress which caused many of the young men in the first few rows to become somewhat excited due to the sexual innuendo of the taco.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: As in 'bikini taco.']

The Colombia firecracker, Shakira kicked off the evening with her song "Loca." Shakira, whose hips have been clocked at 124 miles per hour wore a pair of cowboy chaps that reportedly once belonged to cowboy star Hopalong Cassidy.

Shakira's bra however, was right out of Lady Gaga's lingerie closet except that it was about two cup sizes smaller.

Katy Perry, won Best Song for her hit "California Gurls." She performed her song "Firework" and the newlywed managed to hit 13 bad notes.

Hayley Williams sang her song "Airplane" and the song was really soaring along up until hip hop rapper B.o.B. joined in and he managed to instantly turn the lovely airplane into a Japanese Kamikaze plane.

Rihanna, with the Ronald McDonald Red, Red hair sang "Only Girl (In The World)" while immersed in a fog-filled flower garden.

For some reason she wore a beauty pageant tiara so maybe she had been voted Queen of the Barcelona Begonia Festival or something.

And the Glitter Girl herself, Ke$ha sang her song "Tik Tok" for the 795th time. Ke$ha had her face painted in Cheyenne Indian war paint. The Indian feather, the mini loincloth, and the tomahawk added a nice Native American touch to her performance.

Kanye West, who many thought had been in the witness protection program, showed up and performed his song "Power." The only problem was that while Kanye was singing "Power" his band was playing something else altogether.

Afterwards Kanye was asked about this musical malfunction and he replied that it was not his fault and that what was he supposed to have done, gone up and taken away all of the band's instruments.

Kanye did stress that at least he did manage to get the words fried chicken, watermelon, ribs, bling bling, and NBA basketball in his song.

Lady Gaga received the award for Best Female, Best Pop, Best Video, and Best Crotch Bulge.

Justin Bieber won the awards for Best Male, Best Push Artist, and Best Hair.

Ke$ha won for Best New Act and for Best Looking Glitterized Tits.

In a related story. After the award show, it was rumored that backstage Eva Longoria-Parker had asked Lady Gaga if her tata's were real. Gaga replied that they were and asked if she would like to touch them. Eva blushed, paused for a second, and replied 'well maybe just one of 'em.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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