'Tea Party' Targets UK

Funny story written by WASP

Monday, 8 November 2010


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After some success in the mid-term US elections, the 'Tea Party' is establishing an English branch to counter the threat of "Commie bastards" in the public sector, trade unions and the BBC.

Reflecting the different cultural ideals of the British Isles, the new group will be called the 'Beers, Wines & Spirits Party' and membership will be strictly limited to nationals who can trace their ancestry back to at least the 12th Century.

Spokesman Giles de Vere Huntingdon-Folly, speaking at a press conference in the Albion Club in St. James's Street, informed expectant hacks that "the BW&SP will fight tirelessly to save our beautiful country from Bolsheviks, sub-Saharan Africans, Muslims, poets and women".

Asked if the Party was in any way racist, Mr. Huntingdon-Folly replied "Absolutely not. We are a broad church and welcome everyone on an individual basis, just as long as they are white Anglo-Saxon Protestants."

Planned fund-raising events include a Burn-A-Golly Night, a Crusader weekend in Oldham and an artillery bombardment of Tower Hamlets.

Chief 'Momma Grizzly' of the Tea Party in the US, Sarah Palin, stated: "We are delighted to connect with like-minded folk in England, London, who did so much good work fighting the French in the three World Wars".

Shadow Home Secretary Edward Bollocks, pressed for an opinion, commented "They're even scarier than my wife, and that's saying something!"

The Downing Street Press Office declined to make an official announcement, although a source close to Chancellor George Osborne observed "We're singing from the same hymn sheet".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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